Challenge #04441-L057: Do Not the Humans

This group of idiotic deathworlders did not listen when the Alliance warned them not to harass the humans. Why do some people have to learn the hard way? -- Anon Guest

"Listen," said the AI guide. "You're big tough Deathworlders, and wish to prove it. There's other Deathworlders, here, and the temptation is very strong to test how Deathworlder they all are. There's arenas for that."

The tourist group grumbled a little, but seemed to accept the limit on their usual behaviour.

"Also, you have heard or will hear about the Humans. Do not antagonise the humans just to see if they're so much heated excrement. You will lose." The AI paused to examine the tourist's faces. "And I also recognise that this warning has increased the odds of you trying. Listen. If you try, you will be paying for your own medical treatment that results from the attempt."

They did not remain warned. Big tough Deathworlders always had to test their mettle against other big tough Deathworlders by beating or being beaten into a pulp. And even though there was an arena for that sort of thing... way too many of them much preferred the good, old-fashioned bar fight.

Fortunately, the Humans were prepared for this and had an arena that was also a bar. This one was called the Brawl Inn. Where the furniture was designed to break apart in a predictable way. That way, the people running the place could reassemble it all like a jigsaw.

Well. Most of it. Reprinting furniture parts was cheaper than reprinting an entire piece of furniture. A place like the Brawl Inn had high overheads, of course, because Deathworlders drank and fought there.

And the best way to start a fight with a Human is to walk right up to a small pack of them and nick one of their drinks.

The duty bartender simply closed the concertina cage to guard the more expensive glassware along the wall. Then ducked under the counter to come back up with a helmet and a padded jacket. There was also the 'peacekeeper' - a deceptively light cudgel that also packed a stunner pack. Only minimal physical damage would ever result. Enough to give the clients a reminder to leave the bartender alone.

The guiding AI had been correct, of course. The Humans might not have any natural weapons, natural armour, or natural advantages per se... but they did have a relentless and creative nature.

They were very good at improvising weapons, strategy, and insults.

They could even insult people in GalSimple, a language of very few words.

Of course, the newcomers lost. Badly.

So badly that the Humans felt sorry enough for them that they pitched in for the medical bill.

[Photo by Timothy Dykes on Unsplash]

If you like my stories, please Check out my blog and Follow me. Or share them with your friends! Or visit my hub site to see what else I'm up to.

Send me a prompt [11 remaining prompts!]

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Check out the other stuff I'm selling