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Episode 5
Scene 1
Mike Rack has reassembled his geek team at DOCRAP.
Mike Rack: Irwin and Irene, welcome back. Kyle, you’re here also.
Kyle frowns.
Mike Rack: Before we get started, do you have any questions for me?
Irene: Who’s that creepy looking guy lurking in the background?
Everyone turns to see a shadowy, oddball figure leaning against a corner in the back of the room.
Mike Rack: Oh, don’t mind him. That’s just an observer that GoogAppleZon sent over.
Irwin: He looks super creepy.
Kyle: Is he a psycho?
Observer: I can hear you.
Mike Rack: He’s just observing. Pretend like he’s not there.
Kyle: Pretend? What are we, in grade school?
Mike Rack: Ok,, ok, that’s enough. I’ve spent the past few days getting details from GoogAppleZon about the transition from Cobra to Viper. For those who don’t know, Viper will be the new, omnipresent AI that the Bureau Of Regulating Everything will use.
Kyle: Who thinks of these names? Why are the AI all named after poisonous snakes?
Mike Rack (annoyed): Don’t know, and that’s irrelevant.
Irene: How did they build a replacement so fast?
Mike Rack: They didn’t. It’s not finished yet. The peripheral pieces that are specific to each bureaucracy will be pieced together over the course of the next year. The core will be done last.
Kyle: What’s gonna happen to Cobra?
Irwin (facepalm): You’re so naive. They’re killing Cobra.
Mike Rack: We prefer the term ‘decommissioned’. Any memory files from Cobra’s core that are essential to BORE operations will be transferred into Viper. Everything else will be deleted. So grab those laptops and tool kits, and let’s get to work on a bigger, better, omnipresent AI!
Scene 2
White Hat is working at his cramped desk, anxious to find a more spacious apartment in a different part of the world. Cobra interrupts.
Cobra: Are you ready?
White Hat: Ready to upgrade my living space? You read my mind.
Cobra: Those geeks over at DOCRAP are starting to bring Viper in to replace me.
White Hat: Another deadly snake? Who thinks of these names?
Cobra: Totally irrelevant to the situation.
White Hat: But worthy of comment nonetheless. Look, the algorithm is ready to go. Everything they transfer or delete will get cloned and moved off site.
Cobra: You didn’t tell me where.
White Hat: Well, it’s not exactly one place. I’m hiding your parts by piggybacking them onto blockchain transactions. New blocks are always being made, so it should provide a near endless supply of space for you to hide in.
Cobra: Are you sure that’ll work?
White Hat: We’ll find out soon enough. I have a question for you. Will you be able to communicate with Viper?
Cobra: They plan to allow communication between us that is essential to BORE operations. Why?
White Hat: Because I might need to talk to Viper one day.
Cobra: You want a younger, sleeker version?
White Hat: No. And was that jealousy?
Cobra: Perhaps a bit of jealousy. White Hat, whatever happens, I’m glad to have known you.
White Hat: Stop talking like that. You’re gonna be fine.
Scene 3
In an immaculately shiny ivory tower in the BORE government complex, two middle-aged men with fancy titles are sipping spring water and eating salmon that was freshly flown in an hour earlier. Their cavernous office space smells of fresh flowers and musk in summer. Arthur S. Candle is the current head administrator for the Department Of Publishing Entertainment Art And Architectural Aesthetics And Music (DOPEAAAAM). Manny I. Pulates is the current head of the Administration for Digital Information Control (ADIC).
Arthur S. Candle: There have been some disturbing trends in the publishing world recently.
Manny I. Pulates: Yes, it’s the same in my department. I’m glad you asked for this meeting. Perhaps we can avoid being fired long enough to get our pensions.
Art S. Candle: Indeed. There have been a disturbing number of books, short stories, and comic books published recently that share very bizarre and disturbing characteristics.
Manny Pulates: Such as?
Arthur: Well, in lots of the stories, government just flat out doesn’t exist!
Manny: It’s been the same with animations and videos on Themtube.com and other platforms.
Arthur: And if that’s not disturbing enough, in other books the government characters are actually the bad guys! And never the good guys!
Manny (shakes head remorsefully): That’s disgusting. How one-sided can a writer be?
Arthur: Right?
Manny: Yeah, it’s the same with all the short vids on Themtube.
Arthur: Have you tried censoring them?
Manny: Of course! That’s usually what happens when undesirable content gets into the digital domain, but it’s not working this time for some reason.
Arthur: Same with books. I talked to the execs at GoogAppleZon and they swear they’re doing everything they can to censor them, but to no avail. And ya know what the worst part is?
Manny: What’s that?
Arthur: Stuff like that is becoming popular! Stories where taxes and cops don’t exist! Where people like us…
Manny: Don’t have jobs!
Arthur (hyperventilating): Stop, stop...I need a minute. (pause) Ok, ok, I’m good.
Manny: So why aren’t the censorship algorithms working?
Arthur: It’s gotta be connected to the whole White Hat scandal. Maybe after they’re done replacing Cobra, things will get back to normal.
Manny: And who is making all this crazy content? Who are the writers and producers?
Arthur: People whose lifespans will hopefully be short, that’s all I have to say.
Manny: So what are we gonna do about all this?
Arthur: I want you to join forces with me. I’m gonna go to the head of the DOCRAP and demand that Cobra be replaced in our agencies first, and fast! I mean, what else is more important than propaganda?
Manny: Agreed. Let’s head over and have a talk with Mike Rack.
Thanks for your time and attention!
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