I struggled a little with the tenses at the beginning but really got into this from where he goes after the figure. After that I was on the edge of my seat. I actually went and googled
Swa swa we forgyfað urum gyltendum
and was really pleased with myself until I read further on and found you had not only added the translation but used it to tie the whole story together beautifully. I'm following now and looking forward to reading the rest.
thank you for such a thoughtful response, @thinknzombie. Yes, I often curse those bloody tenses - I blame it on studying Latin and importing all those verb times and moods into my writing - Too much of Latin authors, I'm afraid.