Dealing with adversity

Whether we like it or not, adversity is part of life. Overcoming adversity is one of the biggest hurdles we face.
As Havelock Ellis wrote, "Pain and death are part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself."
Problems, large and small, present themselves to us throughout our whole existence.
Regardless of how sharp, clever, or happy-go-lucky we are, we will encounter struggle, challenges, difficulties and at times, heart wrenching moments. Is this meant to be a negative, cynical assessment of what we have to look forward to?
Not at all!
In fact, thank goodness for adversity! Learning to deal with and overcoming adversity is what builds character and resilience . Every challenge and every difficulty we successfully confront in life serves to strengthen our will, confidence and ability to conquer future obstacles. Herodotus, the Greek philosopher, said, "Adversity has the effect of drawing out strength and qualities of a man that would have lain dormant in its absence."
When you respond positively and constructively to your biggest challenges the qualities of strength, courage , character and perseverance emerge from deep inside of you.
Of course, since we are human, it is very easy to get caught up in the self pity, unfairness of life, or 'why me?' traps. When we do, we fail to recognize the opportunities for wisdom and growth that accompany adversity. However, as soon we allow ourselves to think more clearly, we are able to let go of self-defeating and unproductive thoughts and get down to the business of dealing with what's before us.

       POINTS TO CONSIDER

*The difficult times in life help us appreciate when things are going smoothly.
*Look for the learning opportunities in every adverse situation.
*Decide whether you will allow your experience to make, or break you. Depending upon how you choose to perceive it, it could go either way. *Be prepared to accept the worst, should it occur. When you have prepared yourself mentally for the worst, it rarely ever happens, and if it does, it seems less so because you are better equipped to handle it.
*Cultivate faith, courage and resilience. The more of these qualities with which you are armed, the lesser the impact of the adversity.
*Remind yourself that adversity is part of life. Accepting adversity, helps you overcome it.

   HOW WE CAN DEAL WITH ADVERSITY

In response to a reporter’s question after an exciting, rough-and-tumble, come-from-behind, must-win playoff game last week, Steve Nash of the Phoenix Suns said: “That could have discouraged us, but it didn’t.” Those words stuck with me because they apply to our lives–each day, each moment. When faced with adversity, the team chose not to quit, but instead to rise to the challenge.
For each of us, unexpected, challenging situations, issues and problems are par for the course, and probably occur on the average of 25 times every day. They run the gamut from minor to major, i.e., you have an argument with your co-worker, teenager or partner; you don’t receive an important return e-mail from a customer; one of your key people arrives late on a very busy day; your speech doesn’t receive the reaction you hoped for; you’re not selected for an assignment you really wanted, the list goes on….
As I said in the last article, taking responsibility is a key to creating the life you want. That requires a shift from external to internal control–a sense that you can rely on yourself, can trust your own judgment, can empower yourself. Along with taking responsibility for your life comes the understanding and acceptance that adversity is an integral and significant part of life. Isn’t it interesting that so often we are surprised by adversity, almost like if we are doing all the “right” things, then we won’t have so many problems and struggles–an attitude of “Life should be easier.” So accepting that adversity is a normal part of life is an important shift in our thinking.
You have a choice of how to deal with adversity–how to respond to and deal with the challenges that you face each day. You either see them as obstacles or as opportunities. You either let them get you down or decide to overcome them.
Taking responsibility for your life helps you to adopt a posture of confidence and resilience and to feel that you are capable of dealing with each challenge that presents itself to you–you see each one as a situation to be dealt with or problem to be solved, not as a drama or a catastrophe or a crisis.
Knowing that you have the skills it takes to deal with both your personal and interpersonal problems is a key factor in deciding to see them as opportunities and deal with them constructively. When you can self-disclose honestly and clearly; when you can listen to others and to yourself with acceptance and empathy; when you can face your fears; when you can resolve conflicts so both people get their needs met; when you can set and achieve goals that really matter to you; you have many of the key tools needed to turn adversity into opportunities for learning and growth. That can be liberating and exhilarating.

CONCLUSION
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle.

Thanks for reading
God bless us all
@Mykel412