What is to like about my body? Nothing, I couldn't care less about my appearance, I could get used to it but the pain is something that cannot be ignored especially the emerging pain issue with my left hand, it is getting painful to use it especially when I am taking a bath considering that I use it to wash my bottom.
So it would really suck if I would lose the use of my hand, this left hand in particular. Well it saddens me because a part of my body will again be taken away. It seems that it is getting too late as my lifetime is getting consumed by my own patience in hoping for good things to come, if it will ever come into my life.
I am just thankful that the lingering pain in my back doesn't bother me much anymore unlike in the past months where there is a lingering pain there and not even lying down alleviates it. But I have to take a compromise of having my appetite devastated by the same medicine that takes that misery of pain away not to mention the expense of money that I have to keep in mind as well as the drug for hyperparathyroidism is very costly plus the phosphate binder that I have to take with my meals as well.
So it forces me to eat a few times, usually a couple of times only a day. Well I do not have much appetite anyway. If I come to think of it, it is just pointless to live like this because I am not living my life fully. Happiness is just a day short of impossible. I do not know what will the days would bring me but it is God's plan and what I am just doing is to do what is right although it seems that it is really just madness into wanting to stay alive in this world.
Oh my dear, you should not say that. Your post brings tears to my eyes. I can understand how painful it is getting for you but you have been a very brave fighter and lived upto your conditions against all odds. Please be calm and let this also pass. I am sure the hardwork you have been putting you will enjoy the benefits of it. Please do not give up.
This saddens me. I couldn't imagine what it is like to live a single day in your shoes but I know one thing....your beauty and things you share with others are so inspiring to many people around you.
Thinking of you friend <3 <3 <3 sending lots of love and healing vibes your way xoxo
Thank you @mumma-monza for your encouraging words. God bless you.
Are you saying that because you are ill? The beauty of a person lies in his/her heart. You have a different problem...Your pain! It is sad to hear about your pain but you should not give up....stay strong!
You are not alone, most people do... But we must love what we got :-)