You may have already felt that a conversation escaped you, that you suddenly find yourself in an unpleasant situation. And you do not know exactly how you got there. You have also probably already found yourself in a situation where you think you should have said no in time and you do not even know why you stay in the company of a certain person.
In your work, you may have agreed to wear the hat for an error you did not make. Are these situations familiar to you? Can you identify yourself in these?
So, maybe the time has come for you to learn some techniques that will allow you to develop your assertiveness to improve your social skills.
In this article you will learn to identify what is your reaction to social situations that bother you. And if it is not the most adequate, we also offer assertiveness techniques that allow you to improve your social skills. Take control and make your social relationships more balanced and healthier!
What is assertiveness and how to use it to improve your social skills?
What is assertiveness? Assertiveness is our ability to express our rights and needs in an effective way, without rushing or being aggressive. It is a social behavior that can make our social relationships more favorable. What happens if we are not able to communicate our needs accurately? We then enter a behavior of confrontation, passive or aggressive.
When we act assertively, there can be two types of ineffective behavior:
- Or we respond passively to his environment
- Or we respond aggressively
Both are also ineffective, and will ultimately lead to more problems in your relationships. Changing the way we behave is not easy, but it really is worth it.
Assertiveness technique to improve your social skills
What is the type of passive driving?
The type of passive driving is used when the person is unable to express his wishes, needs or feelings openly. If it expresses them, it will be with self-justification or apology. The fear that people have of the conflict is the basis of this type of behavior, characterized also by low self-esteem, as well as by a great frustration at the fact that his rights are not respected. These people are often unaware of the high level of vulnerability they have reached.
What is the type of aggressive driving?
The type of aggressive driving is used when the person is able to express his needs. Only that it does so inappropriately and impulsively, in a way that the people with whom it interacts may feel attacked or disrespected in their basic rights. She may resort to verbal abuse and threats, although often she acts much more subtly, such as humiliation or gradual degradation.
The type of passive conduct is characterized by a violation of the rights of the person who uses it, whereas the type of aggressive conduct consists of direct exposure of his rights, without consideration for others and without feeling shame or guilt.
Assertion techniques confronting confrontations or manipulations
- Striped Disc Technique to Improve Your Assertiveness
Keep your point of view and your opinion unruffled, even if the other person tries to change it. It is fundamental that you keep your calm, without raising your voice and without changing your speech. To give another direction to the conversation try expressions such as "yes, but ..." "I agree, but ..." "Yes, but I would say", avoid verbal traps and you will reach your goal.
- Viable compromise technique to improve your assertiveness When there is a confrontation of positions and "losing" is not advisable. With a compromise, before losing, give your interlocutor some leeway, so that he is aware of the fact that he can also lose the argument, so that the two parties reach an agreement at mid-term. way, both yielding some ground.
Fogging technique or "snow white" to improve your assertiveness This technique consists in yielding ground in appearance, but without actually doing so. Try not to deny what your interlocutor is saying and not to attack him. You can partly agree with him and accept some of his opinions without sharing them. This is very effective in open handling, but you should not use it too often as it will not work.
Technical assertive question to improve your assertiveness When you are criticized by your interlocutor, this technique will give you the advantage. What you need to do is to initiate your interlocutor to criticize you for more information in order to know if the criticism is constructive, or on the contrary manipulative. In this way you will "disarm" it, knowing if the person only tries to attack you personally, obtaining in addition that it is repositioned if its critic is objective.
Improve your social skills! So now, all you have to do is put it into practice! Remember that others treat you as you taught them to treat you. Improve emotional intelligence, an indispensable conduct.
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