Fear of Confrontation: How Do You Deal With Toxic Colleagues?

Hi there, Hive Friends!

How do you deal with toxic colleagues? Have you ever had to work with people who had toxic personalities at work?

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Usually, my mood is very calm or happy. I don't like confrontation, or shouting. But I work in the hospital, which has very intense, and sometimes, very toxic emotions.

I like what I do. I am a doctor of medicine, and at the moment, I am rotating from one department to another to see which one I want to stay in.

It has been the best experience of my life. But sometimes, it has also been the worst! This has been my first year and a half as being "not a student."

Recently, I met some people in the hospital who made me wonder if I really am a calm person!

I would understand if it was a patient bringing in toxic emotions, but it was a fellow colleague, but she is 6 years more senior than I am in the field.

She would call me often, and say many bad words, in front of my patients. She did this everyday. She called me horrible names, made fun of my personality, and the way I speak...

It got so bad that one day, I burst into tears at work. I didn't want to report her to HR, but the verbal abuse was so bad that I became very withdrawn and sad. I would wake up in the morning, wanting to quit.

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One senior colleague - more senior than her - met me on one particularly bad day. She counseled me to speak up. She also spoke to her.

We have some form of HR, but it really isn't as functional as in other places. Most of their intervention is to say "toughen up." Isn't that horrid?

I have had many other experiences...and now, I can say that the best way to get rid of toxicity in the work place is to speak up! And, of course, to demand to be treated with courtesy and respect.

I do not like hurting other people's feelings, but I am learning that safe boundaries have to be maintained with all my colleagues, for work to be efficient...and for the sake of my mental health!

Maybe you are wondering...did the toxic colleague change?

Not completely!

But at least she knew that I could speak up. She gave me an apology and then tried to avoid insulting me. Sometimes, she just avoided me! I was fine with that, but unfortunately, she found other victims...

The work place should be professional. It doesn't matter if you are old or young, at an entry level or at a superior level - everyone deserves respect.

Don't be scared to stand your ground on things that are right!

Another thing I did was to have counselling, for my mental health. Did you know that there are counsellors that teach People Smart Skills?

I am attending a webinar soon. A friend referred this counsellor to me, and he has helped me to process some of the things that affected my mental health, and he teaches me how to have a healthy mentality at work. Here is the link, in case you want to join:

http://cutt.ly/colegioPSS

Like I said before, the hospital can be a very toxic environment. Just watch Grey's Anatomy, New Amsterdam, The Good Doctor..!

Please protect yourself out there! And also check yourself, that you are not accidentally becoming toxic too!

On the positive side, I have made great friends at work, who are now also my friends outside work. We have had lots of learning moments, sad moments, together!

Picture mine

I have also met wonderful senior colleagues who make me a better doctor. They are my inspiration. When I get to their level, I hope to remain kind to others.

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What are your experiences? I would love to hear them, and to learn from them, too!