Disappointment: A Teacher in Disguise

Disappointment isn't just a setback that pulls us back from our plans and what we've envisioned; it goes beyond that, and through the years, via various experiences I've had with disappointment, I've come to see it sometimes as a blessing in disguise that teaches me valuable lessons via those scenarios. That doesn't take away the pain that comes from being disappointed. I've been in that shoe, and I can attest to it because I've had my fair share of disappointment, from things not going through the way I anticipated, to trusting people who ended up letting me down and several others to name but a few, but through all of those, I've learned valuable lessons that reshape me into a stronger and wiser person.

One of the toughest disappointments I've faced was when I wanted to lend some amount of money from a friend of mine. I knew he had the money or was about to receive the money; he told me himself and said immediately he'd lend me the amount I needed so I could use it to pay for my junior brother's surgical operation cost. However, by the time he got the money, he ended up squandering it and gave me stories when I asked. I was literally disappointed because I had put all of my hopes on him and even told my family to put their minds at rest. At the end of the day, I had to sell some of my assets to make up for the bill at hand. Painful, but I found a way out and learned my lesson.

Another moment of disappointment that tested me deeply was when I lent money to a friend, with the belief that they'd return it as agreed. The person has approached me about being in need and that they'll pay immediately when they get their wages at the end of the month, and even though I don't have that money, because I wanted to help, I borrowed from someone else to help with what my friend needs. He ended up not paying me back that money to date, and that experience taught me a harsh reality: that not everyone values honesty like I do, and that life doesn't always play fair, cementing the quote that said no matter how good-hearted or careful we are, bad things can still happen. Ultimately, I learned to set boundaries.

Below are some of what I've learned from disappointment.

Not Everyone Thinks Like I Do: Via some of the experiences with disappointment, I've come to understand that even though I'd never betray someone on an agreement, not everyone has such a mindset, and the sooner I understand that, the more discreet I become about people I let into my life.

Some things are beyond my control: Regardless of how much we've planned, something can just go the opposite way, like the friend who ought to lend me money and disappoints me at the last minute; despite the frustration and pain, I realize I just can't control what happens; instead, what I can control is how I react and handle it.

Boundaries are necessary: I've come to learn that I should only help within my means, not go beyond what I can let go to the point where when things go south, I'd be regretful, teaching me that kindness should never come at the expense of my own well-being.

Other things I learned are that resilience is necessary to deal with disappointment, and sometimes disappointment can be a pointer to redirection.

Overall, it's understandable that disappointment is painful, but I've come to see it as a teacher rather than an enemy, because at the end of everything, if everything goes my way and smoothly, I won't have learned anything such as patience, wisdom, or the importance of resilience, and my response most times when I face disappointment isn't Why me? Like I used to, instead now I look inward to what I can learn from it and how I can do things differently.

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All photos are mine.

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