CN|EN 你只需要是一只猫| Just be a cat — that’s all you need to be.

开心的小兔捧着山竹~

艾草锤，每天晚上给女儿捶捶背，她才睡觉~

艾草香包，挂床边防蚊虫~

我们总是非常轻易的就去羡慕别人，就像昨天看到一个朋友的帖子就觉得有个儿子真好呀，但是收到的回复却是再好好体验一把带大的儿子的幸福的时候，就有点望而却步了。想要幸福的结果，却不想去辛苦的耕耘。回想起带大女儿的这一路心路历程，已经有种百炼成钢的感觉了，虽然女儿已经算非常乖，非常好带的类型了。从她出生那刻就没有哭很多，往后长大的日子里，她哭的原因也大部分是因为饿了，尿了，拉粑粑了，这也是提醒我，她要吃奶了，她需要换纸尿裤了，当然她长大了之后欲望就多了许多。

现在我们之间最大的矛盾就是手机，因为学校还没安排好，所以她在家从早到晚的看手机搞笑视频，一天换三次手机充电，我的苹果手机也在她的循环使用的范围内了。等她手机充好电，再用我的手机继续“续命”，等我手机又看没电了，她的手机充电也充好了。但是想想不看手机也没什么好做的事情，让她学习，她工作日也学了，周末没理由还一定逼着她一定得学吧，说出去玩，现在这个天气，似乎有点太热了。只能让她把手机声音调小点，不然我要被吵死了，还得注意下次不要突然说话，不然会吓到她，看来她很专注的在看手机。

晚上问她，每天不上学，在家看手机是不是很开心，她说是的呀，然后我说那以后不上学了，就在家看一辈子手机行不行，她又说不行。问她为什么，她说有妈妈就行。晕，这意思似乎是如果有妈妈陪着，一辈子看手机也行。但我还是有点不信，因为她还是个非常有上进心、不服输的人，玩汉字游戏输了都要掉眼泪，得了第一名开心到跳脚，她不可能愿意在家看一辈子手机的。何况即使她愿意在家看一辈子手机，我也没办法陪她，我还想去上班，发光发热，还想为“大器晚成”做点什么呢，种善因得善果啊。

不过昨天看了个很有意思的视频，讨论的是命运是决定论还是可以被改变的，之前也看过袁了凡的故事，虽然他的命很早就被算命先生算到了，但是他被大师点醒，从此做好事，于是命运彻底改变，生了儿子，中了功名，活得更久了。于是又想到一个老电影《楚门的世界》，说不定我们也是被锁定在地球这个摄影棚里的演员，被提前设定了角色，我们是否偶尔也像做局的人来观测在局中的自己？于是就不会有当局者迷的困惑，又有了旁观者的清的智慧，这么想完，感觉还是应该努力，不努力的准备，可能会错过机会。

晚上给女儿洗澡的时候，她那可爱的模样，让我感慨，于是问她，你是不是只需要是一只猫就可以了？她说是的啊，晚上她拿着艾草锤跟我说，给她捶背，还要捶腿，这个艾草锤子锤在身上不会感觉到疼，我的胳膊逐渐感觉到酸了，于是放下锤子，她已经睡着了，看来晚上给她捶捶背还有助眠的效果。原本以为陪伴到六岁，过个幸福的童年就可以治愈一生了，哈哈，看来陪伴到十八岁成年都不一定够呀！她只需要是个孩子就能够获得关心和爱护，这对于成年人来说，也是值得羡慕的，也会反问自己，你的港湾够遮风挡雨的吗？

English translation by AI for someone who is interested in my post but from other countries:

We often find ourselves easily envying others. Just like yesterday, when I saw a friend’s post and thought, “Having a son must be so nice.” But when someone replied, saying I should really experience the whole journey of raising a son to truly understand the joy, I suddenly hesitated. We long for the happiness at the end, but don’t want to go through the hard work that comes with it. Looking back on my own journey raising my daughter, it truly feels like I’ve been tempered through a hundred trials. And that’s even with her being a very obedient and easy-to-raise child. Since the moment she was born, she barely cried. As she grew up, she cried mostly when she was hungry, wet, or had pooped—basically reminders for me to feed her or change her diaper. Of course, as she got older, her desires grew as well.

Now the biggest conflict between us is over the phone. Since her school hasn’t arranged a proper schedule yet, she’s been home all day watching funny videos on her phone. She charges her phone three times a day, and even my iPhone has become part of her rotation. Once her phone is charged, she uses mine to keep the streak going. Then once my phone runs out, hers is ready again. But thinking about it, without the phone there isn’t much else to do. Asking her to study feels unfair too—she already studies during the weekdays, so forcing her to study on weekends feels unreasonable. Suggesting she go out isn’t ideal either, especially with the weather being so hot lately. All I can do is ask her to turn down the volume, otherwise I feel like I’m going to be driven mad. I also have to be careful not to talk suddenly, or it might startle her—it’s clear she’s very focused on watching her videos.

At night, I asked her, “Are you happy staying home and watching your phone every day instead of going to school?” She said, “Yes!” Then I asked, “So would you be okay with just staying home and watching your phone for the rest of your life, not going to school anymore?” She replied, “No.” I asked why, and she said, “Because I have mommy.” Uh-oh—so does that mean if mommy is around, she’s fine watching her phone for life? But I don’t quite believe that. She’s actually very ambitious and hates losing. She’ll cry if she loses a Chinese character game, and she jumps for joy if she gets first place. There’s no way she’d willingly stay home watching videos forever. Besides, even if she wanted that, I wouldn’t be able to stay with her all the time. I still want to work, to contribute, and to do something meaningful with my “late bloomer” energy. Good causes bring good results.

Yesterday, I watched an interesting video discussing whether destiny is predetermined or changeable. I had also read the story of Yuan Liaofan, whose fate was predicted early in life by a fortune teller, but he turned it all around after being enlightened by a great master. He began doing good deeds and ended up having a son, gaining honors, and living a longer life. That made me think of the old movie The Truman Show. Maybe we’re all just actors locked in a giant set called Earth, playing roles that were assigned ahead of time. But perhaps sometimes we also become the observers of the “game,” watching ourselves from the outside. Then we’re no longer blinded by being in it, but instead gain the clarity of an outsider’s wisdom. Thinking that way, I feel like I should still make an effort. If we don’t prepare through hard work, we might miss out on the opportunities when they come.

Later in the evening, while giving my daughter a bath, I was struck by her adorable expression and asked her, “Would it be enough if you were just a cat?” She said, “Yes!” Then, before bed, she brought over a mugwort massage hammer and asked me to tap her back and legs with it. She said it doesn’t hurt at all when used on her body. As my arms gradually started to ache, I put the hammer down—and she was already fast asleep. It turns out tapping her back at night actually helps her fall asleep.

I used to think that accompanying her until the age of six, giving her a happy childhood, would be enough to heal her for life. But now I’m starting to realize—even being there until she turns eighteen might not be enough! She only needs to be a child to receive love and care, and that’s something even us adults can envy. It makes me reflect too—do I have a safe harbor that can truly shield me from the wind and rain?

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