We humans are a funny lot!
I expect most of us would like to believe that we live by a fairly consistent and reliable set of motivations, but how often do we actually live up to that standard?
And how often do we live up to the standards we apply to others? Or do we actually live by one set of rules for ourselves, and a different set for everyone else?
Of course, our perceptions play into the picture, as well. I have been told on many occasions that I can't like or or be in favor of "Thing A" if I am also in favor of "Thing B," especially in the context of psychology and human relations.
Typically, that boils down to someone else not being comfortable with the possibility that they can't place another person into a neat little box of definitions. We see this in the area of politics, when someone is "blown away" that someone holding an opposing political view is actually a nice person and not the Devil incarnate.
It seems difficult for people to adjust their belief system to actually incorporate reality, sometimes...
I'll be the first to admit that I have often been "in that place" where I have felt outright confused about someone else's motivations... because what they were claiming to want seemed almost alien to me.
I'm definitely not a "mind reader" and I don't claim to ever have been one... sometimes to other folks' consternation! Of course, it's made even more complicated by the fact that I am not "neurotypical."
Back when I was in school — starting as soon as 3rd grade — teachers, friends and family were having a very difficult time reconciling the fact that I was consistently near the top in terms of intelligence and problem solving... and near the bottom in terms of cognitive speed.
If you're really smart, you're not SUPPOSED to be SLOW!
Of course, that also sounds like yet another attempt to fit a person into a "defined box."
The problem with boxes — at least I see them — is that they might be useful as a very coarse sorting mechanism, but each human being is ultimately a unique set of traits, chemical reactions, neurons and whatever else drives these "meat suits" we inhabit.
Sometimes it feels like a small miracle that we manage to navigate this thing called life, at all!
Part of why I find myself writing these words is watching people — long time friends — falling out over the strangest of things. At least they feel like the strangest of things... to me.
Toxicity abounds.
Trauma — of many different kinds — have a way of making people mean. We respond to our own pain and confusion by inflicting pain and confusion on others... rather than trying to learn and understand that doing so is toxic, and change must happen.
The fact that I don't want to "problem solve with my fists" is not an indication that "I wasn't beaten enough as a child," it's an indication that you are working through something traumatic.
Just thinking out loud, really... as we get closer to closing out a year and starting in on a fresh one. What can we do better?
Thanks for stopping by for a visit, and have a great weekend... it's the last one of 2024!
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Created at 2024.12.28 16:36 PST
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