SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder is not what I'll be talking about.
Many things in life make me sad, but many more make me so very happy!
Have you ever thought just how close happiness and sadness are, and how our emotions sometimes swing from sad to happy or happy to sad, in the blink of an eye?
Can one measure feelings? Yes, of course!
The night I received a call from the hospital to say my darling man was gone, was the beginning of a long hard grieving process. It has been the worst kind of loss! Feelings of immense sadness still hit me out of nowhere, and that hole in my heart will never heal!
I've experienced sorrowful times with unexpected tragic losses of close family and friends, but I always had my man by my side!
It still makes me so very sad that he did not get to travel to our son's newly adopted country across the waters. He was super excited at the prospect, many basics were packed already, but ten days before we were due to depart to the Netherlands, he suffered a setback.
He left full of hope but never came back home again. I must have cried buckets of tears since that day.
I'm a big sentimentalist, and will cry happy, or sad tears at special occasions - happy tears for the people celebrating, and sad tears knowing a special loved one is no longer there to celebrate.
Some music or movies also make me sad and have me grabbing for tissues as the tears just won't stop flowing!
What else makes me sad? Cruelty to the vulnerable, unjustness, especially when there's nothing I or anyone else can do to change a situation!
Now that my older son lives in Europe, I can no longer get into the car, and drive the six hours up to Johannesburg. It now means applying for a Schengen Visa and many hours in the air to get there. That makes me so very sad. We video-call, but it's just not the same, a mother longs to feel the touch of her child, no matter what age they are.
It breaks my heart when my children are hurting and I cannot help them.
Then some people have a skewed sense of humour and think it's hilarious to crack a joke at the expense of someone else. That is hurtful and not funny at all! I feel sad not only for the person who's being made fun of but also for the Joker.
Is that the only way they get to feel good about themselves?
There's a big difference between light-hearted teasing, and making fun of someone. Sadly that kind of joker cannot see it! Seeing the person being made fun of trying very hard to laugh, makes me very sad.
Sadly, I've come across a couple of trolls and bullies here on Hive as well. Just like poison, they pollute our beautiful Hive! Thinking about it, bullying makes me both angry and sad.
Anger and sadness often go hand in hand, right?
When I heard of a friend who discovered that her husband had been cheating on her, I was very angry but also immensely sad; her whole world was turned upside down. Big decisions had to be made, moving out of the home she lived in for many years, and having to start over in a strange new world as a solo traveller!
Unfortunately, I'm like a sponge, soaking up the hurts of others. Mom Lily used to tell me I must stop taking on the troubles of the world, but when one is made that way, it's almost impossible to change. However, for my own sanity, I had to change.
Heartbreaking sadness has followed me throughout different seasons of my life, but so has immense happiness. At the end of the day, I chose to remember the happy times, be happy, and not let sadness overwhelm me!
This is my response to The Silver Bloggers Writing Contest - in collab with @ericvancewalton: Memoir Monday.
Take a peek at that link and tell us what makes you sad - you stand to win a prize from a whopping pool of HBD or Hive!
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Artwork by @artywink
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Artwork by @artywink
Sadness allows us to channel our emotions when we have losses or face painful situations. I believe that if we are not able to feel sadness we cannot feel true joy either.
And I totally relate with you feeling sad at being away from your son. We know that they are well and that is a peace of mind and we even feel happy for them but we carry our sadness in silence missing their hugs and touch.
A big hug, Lizzie
Absolutely true Eli, we learn to appreciate special times even more!
As you say, while it's very comforting knowing your child is doing well, it comes at a cost, having to leave behind everything familiar.
And for the parents, especially Mom...
You are such a kind, empathetic person and I feel privileged to know you. I really feel for you and your heartache and I understand missing you son too. So you don't think you'll go over?
Thank you River, I admire the way you still live your life to the full despite your loss!
I ended up visiting my son last year, want to go again later this year, can stay for up to 90 days at a time but I won't emigrate. My younger son still lives in SA.
Can't uproot an old tree!
Hi, now that I think about it, it is not so easy to do these exercises to deepen the reasons for our sadness. I will join the challenge, and while I read your reflection, I think about my own wounds. It's like getting naked, maybe, it's a therapy that helps to understand that the world is like this: some cry, others laugh and then, the other way around.
You describe it so well @ungranulises, I was reluctant at first but it has indeed been a kind of therapy voicing the inner emotions.
I was almost in tears reading about your love passing. I do not know if I could carry on.
Best wishes for you.
a mother longs to feel the touch of her child, no matter what age they are.
That statement is so true, I feel your pain of wanting to see your child. I have one I have not seen in many years because he lives so far away.
Nothing can ever prepare one for the loss of a life partner, but you find that inner strength to carry on!
I hope you get to see your child soon, as I'm hoping to see mine.
That's very difficult to achieve, you must have tried to focus a lot before getting here, I usually gets more anxious as the day tends to end, and I realize that is the problem.
True, it's not been easy, and naturally the sadness still wells up, triggered by seemingly small things, but thankfully shortlived!
We need to learn to be kind to ourselves; sadly anxiety can become a problem.
I can relate to every word written here by you! I also lost my father, but I also saw my mother left alone (my father had been her partner for more than 50 years) and see her saying in front of his coffin: “You left me alone”, even if she could say: “Mom I am here with you”, my father's company was not only his partner, my father was his friend, his soul mate.
In the end, people's sadnesses are alike and sensitive people, like you and me, cannot avoid the bird of sadness to visit us always, what we should not allow is that it nests in us. Greetings
Exactly @nancybriti1, you understand!
We would have been married 50 years this past December, a lifetime. Your Mom words "You left me alone” is what I often still say!
Initially the pain is so overwhelming, that one is enveloped in it.
So true my friend, emotions are a strange thing, it's very hard being far away from ones children, I relate totally to that.
You're not there to be therir support when they're feeling sad or going through some trauma. Even when they're happy and not able to share that moment with them physically. It is very hard and breaks a mother's heart.
Lovely post @lizelle, have an awesome day.
You are aloud to have a good cry, or laugh till your sides crack, even when you're alone. It's really OK.
It's not easy when the children are so far away. You're leaving soon to visit the Cape family? But sad that everyone is scattered all over the world. I sometimes long for the days when we all lived close by, but that's life.
Thank you for popping in my friend. P.S. I do often sit here and cackle by myself😉
I think that since I came to Colmena and met you I felt identified with you and your sensitivity, today I reaffirm it. I have discussed it with my daughter. Crying is good, as well as laughing in both cases is a venting of emotions. I also have a daughter far from me and my only grandchild and although I hide it well I always have wet eyes. But I also suffer for the one who is a few miles away and I know she is missing something or is sad, that's how we are. I imagine what you must have experienced today writing for this contest, but I imagine it must have been a release of emotions. That's how we are when we carry the concept of mother, wife and daughter with integrity. Very touching and beautiful, thank you @lizelle, take care.🥰❤️❤️❤️
Awe @mamani, I can imagine how difficult it is not to be near your daughter and grandchild! One's emotions sometimes are like a seesaw when you miss someone. Writing has helped me tremendously, and trying to live in the moment and to be thankful for each day!
Thank you for being such a good friend, for your encouragement, and for visiting via my posts. Take care of yourself too dear friend🤗 ♥️
Hello @lizelle, That roller coaster of emotions between sadness and happiness is something that many of us can identify with. The loss of a loved one is a hard blow, and I totally understand that emptiness you mention because I have felt it and lived it, but everyone experiences it in their own way.
The distance with your oldest son must be another hard blow. Not being able to be close to your children, especially at important times, is something any parent would understand. While video calls help, there is nothing like a hug and direct contact with them. My mother lives in another city and this December I was able to visit her after a year without seeing her.
Thank you for your kind words @lanzjoseg. I'm hoping to visit my son later this year if all goes well!
Glad you got to see your Mom, it must have been a very special time.
Todo esto me ha aclarado una vez más 'qué no quiero estar lejos de mi madre 💔'. Cargar con el dolor ajeno es un gran sufrimiento...
Estoy seguro de que tu madre debe estar agradecida de que estés ahí para ella.
I feel the pain reading those things that make you sad. Especially the passing of a loved one. 😖.
Thank you so much for your kind words @asiaymalay🤗 Life is full of ups and downs but we must try and make the best of each day😉
FYI, there is a "Grief support" community on Hive: https://peakd.com/c/hive-158761/created
Thank you I'll take a peek.
It is really very sad to lose loved ones, I am sorry about your husband, it is a wound that will always be there for years to remember.
Thank you @yolimarag, I never thought it would be this bad!
You're such a resilient person @lizelle. You remind me a lot of my Mom. She's the best listener I've ever encountered and regularly takes on the role of therapist to whomever needs it.
Thank you Eric! I would dearly love to meet your Mom, I think we would find a whole lot to talk about.
I hope you're having a good weekend!