Hi @artywink

This is still sitting with me. I'm going to give it some thought because I'm tired right now, but I feel this was badly handled and am concerned about users being driven away from Hive because of bad communication.

But far more about the welfare of individuals on the platform. Of course! Lucky for you I'm a tough old bat and have had enough exposure to life challenges to stick around and ask for Parley :)

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Before I get going please don't take this too personally. This is a common theme in our "modern" relating style these days. But what is normal is not always healthy.

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Someone I know well, with a following of around 22k on Facebook, joined Hive last year at my suggestion. They were in a challenging situation after losing a very successful business and were highly stressed. They did not know Hive and may have made some mistakes and, as it seems to happen a lot around here, there was no communication and they abandoned the blockchain.

101k followers. Gone. Many of whom may have joined Hive.

I feel it is vital to have systems in place to deal with human error respectfully, consciously and maturely. Or we just perpetuate the toxicity of mainstream social media.

Which is why I left. And most people have.

Cancel culture - which was to be my next conversation but perhaps I should have begun with this - is the same as a tactic abusers use to control victims that's commonly known as "the silent treatment". And this is why toxic communities and systems use it. It dehumanizes the indivdual. It "gaslights" the individual as everyone knows there's something wrong but nobody talks about it / not validating a person's reality can (for more sensitive humans) actually cause psychosis.

It is emotional and psychological abuse. End of story. Now normalized because most of us endured it in dysfunctional homes as kids.

And the bottom line motivation behind this behaviour is always power and control. No discussion. No compromise. My way or the high way.

So I'm sure you can understand my concerns here :)

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2 mins after I my apology, you replied. Thank you for such a quick response. Timing, huh? Says so much! So thanks for that acknowledgement. Noted. 💖

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Don't stress. It's pretty easy to learn new communication skills 👍🏻

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Owning my part in the confusion between two / three parties:

Not complicated. Here we go.

Nicky posted after overworking and posted in the wrong community because she was tired and amped to move on from the project. Apologized. Tick!

But I messed up another way too.

My other part in this was that I didn't tell you how the exchange made me feel. Silly of me. But only human and it is hard to share feelings. Especially when we feel threatened. Naturally. Right?

No excuse. I know this! So here's how it goes.

@artywink and @galenkp (and some others but let's not make this too big a deal because we're all learning together- I hope - and if not I'm bailing, quite frankly. COPD and time and joy, you know)

Dear Artywink and Galenkp,

When you ignore me, it makes me feel as though I am "bad" and that makes me feel anxious and afraid. I'd prefer it, if you would just tell me if I have offended you.

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I'd recommend a documentary called Plugged In by Richard Grannon. He is an expert on mental and emotional abuse. And the way mainstream social media is running with the now normalized abuse / cancel culture is causing a lot of mental health problems.

This is serious.

I'd strongly suggest all administration of communities on Hive are encouraged to watch this and learn conscious relating skills, as well, for the benefit of Hive.

These skills are not a natural part of human communication. They are acquired via education and practice.

It would be a major plus for Hive if we all skilled up in conscious relating actually. I've been wanting to learn more about it for some time and this interaction made me realize how relevant it is again.

I think even more so for Web3 and the amount of freedom that is supposed to be encouraged? It would mean we would all need to become far more personally accountable, surely? Or things could really go horribly wrong!

Perhaps @kittygirl and The Terminal can consider this as well? To educate people who run or want to start communities. They could then spread it to members of the communities and so it would grown on the blockchain.

Imagine that?! All the people sharing all... well. You know the dream.

As for my support for Silver Bloggers and what to do about this post. I'd suggest we have a private conversation to figure out a solution we could both walk away feeling good about the exchange. Currently, I am not feeling good about the exchange.

Would you like to do that privately or here so that other users may benefit from it, please?

Or if you'd rather not discuss it that is, of course, your own valid choice. Or, of course, both of you can simply ignore me :) That's your choice too!

All this choice, huh? Isn't it exciting!

Sorry for the lengthy comment! I do go on a bit. My eyes are super tired. Lots of additional hours on screen to get the end of the story out so I can move on with more prompts and fun.

It's very disappointing to have posted it in the wrong community after all that work. I think perhaps we should mute it and I can pay the people who voted directly or something?

I can make amends to @galenkp another way. If he let's me know his thoughts.

I'm going to sleep now and will check in tomorrow.

Peaceful evening all. 🌙🪷

Edited to fix typos. My eyes are now shot. Excuse more if so.

Adding video con if so, please. Better for communication. Eye contact. Meta communication. No school like old school. Thank you.