I think the closest thing to a crow I have readily available is one of those sharp-eyed grackles. But getting to know one of them will require me to hang out in the Walmart parking lot frequently.

Cons:

• Hobnobbing with the toothless and argumentative population of my county
• Possibly being robbed of my valuables by a drug addict
• Possibly being robbed of my peanuts by an overzealous grackle with a craving

Pros:

• Getting to know some very nifty birds
• Acquiring a lot of stories to write about from interacting with the toothless and argumentative population of my county
• Possibly being robbed of my peanuts by an overzealous grackle with a craving

I am officially undecided.