Finding Our Resliency

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Life can be tough sometimes. So much goes on to test our strength and resiliency.

The last couple of years has brought it out in spades for so many and continues to. I don’t care where you are on what you believe or don’t believe about the pandemic, you’d have to be living under a rock or some deserted island to not have been impacted by it.

We all have struggles in our own individual lives and always have. Some of us get through struggles better than others. Our ability to be resilient plays a huge role in us getting through life’s struggles.

Resilience is typically our ability to withstand adversity, to bounce back and to grow in the face of difficulties of all magnitudes. It’s like a mini-journey in the journey of life we’re all on. It’s a mini-journey that is rarely short or straightforward. If it is, count your blessings, for they are many.

For most people it’s a step at a time journey that will sometimes see us retracing steps and starting over. Or even sitting down and struggling to catch our breath before moving another step in any direction. Sometimes you wont be able to take a step without being able to lean on someone for support and strength.

Being a resilient person doesn’t mean you’re mentally a bad-ass. It means you feel the pain, life throws at you and even when it knocks you flat on your ass, you move to get back up and start that mini-journey, no matter how slowly.

You might even feel like the weight of it is going to buckle you. To put you down forever. Just remember, you can get up, even if you have to crawl your way up or call out for someone to come to your aid. It’s not the speed that you move, it’s the fact you move that matters.

As you inch your way through this mini-journey, there are some points to keep in mind:

  • Acceptance of what has happened was out of your control. Even if you took some action that contributed to the outcome, it’s in the past and out of your control. The only control you have right now is your own decision to move forward, to somehow, someway take the mini-journey.

  • Willingness to forgive yourself for any hesitations, stumbles, mistakes etc you might make. Don’t dwell on them longer than it takes to solve and move forward.

  • Compassion for yourself and others as you move through where ever this journey takes you. When you get frustrated, try to avoid lashing out at others.

  • Be grateful for the support and assistance of others. Let them know in word and deed that you appreciate their caring and the difference it makes. This is not always easy when you’re used to being an independent and self-reliant person. Sometimes you have to let that down for your own good. Go back to it when you’re stronger again.

  • Embrace the meaningful. If you’re willing to be open to seeing, you’ll find even in adversity, meaning can be found. You may find as you take this mini-journey that something you held onto for dear life doesn’t hold the same meaning for you now. Something else may take on meaning. Be open to see and experience.

By understanding that adversity is not all about the doom and gloom. Even as you pass along the path of this mini-journey out of adversity, you can and should find opportunity to see the light, to laugh, to enjoy.

Hold onto the feeling and memory of those times. They will help to carry you through.

You will get through, just as long as you don’t stop.

It’s your choice.

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Aah @shadowspub this resonates so well. I read your article... three times. Adversity is rarely a choice. It is usually thrust upon unsuspecting human beings at the least opportune times. We all have to ensure that when it happens to us, and it will, that we take comfort in the knowledge that although we can't control that it happened at all, we can control, to an extent, our response to it all, and we should allow our friends and family to provide us with any support we may need to find our way through. This kind of advice has helped me a lot in the past. You hit the nail on the head...

It’s not the speed that you move, it’s the fact you move that matters.

There is often an element of personal experience in what we each write...and if this pertains to your own experiences of life at the moment, or at any time in the future, keep moving @shadowspub... and if you ever need someone to help you to take the next step, know that there are many many good people around you to lean into💞

I think that most people deal with adversity at some point or another.

I've been active in community volunteering over the years. Some of it has been working with low income members of the community and have never failed to be at times amazed at some of their resiliency and others who cling to every negative event as an excuse to remain stuck where they are.

The same thing happens at all socioeconomic levels, I just saw the diversity of it when I was involved. In some cases I've been able to make things a bit brighter for some of them.

That's truly wonderful to have been blessed to be a part of improving the lives of others. I could sense that you were speaking from experience, but I didn't realise you spoke from this perspective, but it makes perfect sense given that you show good insight into the issues at hand. So many people just can't see a way out though. They honestly do feel rooted where they are and confined to live within the shackles imposed on them. But it is an absolute joy when you do find the people who keep moving even in a figurative sense. I used to volunteer at a day centre for those who had suffered severe life altering brain injuries and it always amazed me how enthusiastic the day visitors were; how filled with joy they remained even though their lives had been changed immeasurably by circumstance (some had been in MVA's, others had suffered gunshot wounds etc). It was a joy for me to engage with them and spend time with them, helping them each to achieve their own personal creative and social goals each day. Taking them on field trips was particularly uplifting as many of them did not get these opportunities outside of those offered by the centre. The common denominator for those who loved being there was their desire to keep moving and improving💗

Some people have a will to move forward no matter what. Some take some encouragement at times and others, they dig their heels in and refuse to move.

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It’s not the speed that you move, it’s the fact you move that matters.

Just gonna leave this here so yall can read that again.
Great work, Shadows.