I ENDED IT BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED

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I had to think well before writing this prompt because I am a very careful person—too careful sometimes. I rarely have issues with people; I avoid it as much as I can, but if it happens regardless, I might have had a genuine reason to let it happen. I never even thought I would one day share this story, but perhaps it will be fun to take a look at the past and laugh at one's foolishness.

In my second year at the university, we had new students join us in my department from the university's mini campus, where they had observed their pre-degree program. I am normally very gentle in public places; I am not really a fan of crowds. Because of this, I was a very lowkey person in my class; once lectures are finished, I head home straight. I was not completely a loner, though; I had a few colleagues I had small conversations with. Out of these new students that joined us, one of them, a guy, approached me one day after class to ask for my note.

That was when I noticed him for the first time, and we really didn't speak much after, but we did greet each other. He was also a very chill and calm person, and I must confess, I had a little crush on him, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Fast forward to my third year at the university, when we had to do online classes and we students held tutorials to study together. I volunteered for my place to be used for the tutorial since my hostel was sort of in the middle of the locations any of my colleagues could come from. The tutor was grateful for my contributions, and arrangements were made.

It was maybe the third day of the tutorial, and I got up early enough to fetch some water before my colleagues came around. As I was doing this, that guy came in through my hostel gate, and I was very shocked. One, because it was not yet time for people to arrive, and two, because I was simply surprised to see him in my house. He later explained that he wasn't sure of the time the tutorial usually starts and came as early as he could.

To cut the long story short, we became friends during that tutorial through the chess game, which we learned together from our tutor. We got talking beyond chess, and we had really good conversations. At a point, it was quite obvious he liked me, and honestly, I liked him too; I just wasn't sure if I wanted it to go beyond that. Well, he confessed to it much later, and somehow, I looked for some excuses to reject his proposal. Want to know the real reason? We were in the same department! Funny, right? 🤣🤣

I wasn't worried about our departmental mates; trust me, they were the least of my worries. I knew we were unproblematic people and might actually have a successful relationship. Being in the same field and doing the same thing just felt unreasonable to me. Perhaps if I had thought about it well, I would have realized that lately, certificates do not really determine your path in life. I guess I just chickened out, and honestly, only God knows why because I was actually attracted to him. In fact, right now, I do not intend to do anything relating to my course at all. I have no regrets, though. I just looked back and realized the reason was actually very silly and childish.

Thanks for reading❤️

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