MY EXPERIENCES WITH LOVE

My love journey has been quite a progression. Growing up, I easily got attracted to the opposite gender because of so many reasons and hardly was anyone because of love. There were so many things that could make me easily like a guy and back then, I thought I loved the guy but it was really far from it. My journey of love started more as an admiration about some qualities a guy possessed but over time, I became wiser and more aware of what love really is and it helped me to an extent to choose better and also stop myself from fooling around.

As a young girl, I almost taught that something was not right with me when I kept admiring almost every guy I met thinking I was in love with them. I was scared at some point because I was not sure of what I was feeling. I struggled with that for a really long time but things got better when I learned that as a person, it is nice to stick to one person and since I found it hard to settle with just one person, I was able to keep myself away from trouble. And, not until I got into my final year in high school, I kept myself away from accepting the so many proposals I got to be someone’s girlfriend.

My daddy won’t have allowed me date anyone though but then, I remember I had so many opportunities to date someone but I forced myself not to. I believe in love but I just thought that if I had given in to love at a very young age I would have done so many stupid things that I might be regretting now because that wasn’t love at all. It was hard. I saw my mates love boys. On Valentine’s Day, they will get a lot of gifts for them and the truth was, deep down, I wished someone would do something for me but I acted like I didn’t care.

In junior school, I had a guy who had a crush on me and I liked him too because he was really brilliant and funny. He was my friend but when I started noticing that he likes me, I tried to keep my distance because I knew I was going to turn him down if he does. We both went to the same primary school together but then, he never had the mind to confess his feelings for me but I knew he had a crush on me. When we moved to a higher class, on Valentine’s Day, this boy bought things for me! I was happy and shocked at the same time.

I was so worried about the wine he bought and the flowers. How was I going to take it home and explain to my father that a boy in school bought it for me to express his love, I wondered. I turned the gentle boy down and I felt bad because he brought his friends with him. But then, I just didn’t want to let anything pressure me into making a decision that I’d regret later. If my memory is not so flawed, I think that day there was a huge scene but I can barely recall what really happened.

Since then, I struggled with other guys trying to ask me out and that was how I didn’t really date until I finished high school. I couldn’t believe it and it was at that point I started giving myself credit and finally gave in to my first relationship. He wasn’t my first crush but I loved him or at least I thought I did. It wasn’t even up to a year we broke up and there came another person who just came to make a mess of me but I was lucky to get myself together and also ended that thing I called a relationship.

After those two, I dated two other persons and now, I just want to stay put and grow myself. I do have someone I love now and it feels so different from all my other love like experiences. It feels a lot different and assuring that I really can’t wait to see how it all turns out. Indeed, love is beautiful and when you find it, the feeling is not something that makes you lose your mind or really do something that you’d regret, it is a feeling that makes you shine in almost every way.

I’m glad that I have had some experiences of dating and I have learnt some really hard lessons which had both positive and negative effects on me but for most of it, it made me wiser and more rational.

This is my response to the Februaryinleo for day 5.

Thanks for reading through. ❤️

_{Images used are mine}