A REAL MAN

A Real MAN

I'm thrilled to write on this topic after finding out that today is Father's Sunday.

"A Real Man."

Growing up without a father taught me the reality of life far beyond what anyone can imagine.
The world is nothing without men. But growing up without a man to call “father” was not only difficult—it was an experience many who had their fathers around may never understand.

In my village in Enugu State, once your father dies, the village takes back all the palm trees (which are the source of palm oil) he owned. They also isolate your family from certain village gatherings and meetings until one of your father's sons grows to be called “a man.”
So, any family without a male child may remain isolated for life.

This alone shaped how I see manhood.
Growing up without a man in our house taught me that being a real man is more than what the village elders think, it’s deeper than tradition.

I and my elder brother, along with our younger sibling, started working from a very young age. At just 10, 7, and 4 years old, we were already hawking and doing all sorts of things just to make money.
Eventually, at the age of 12, my elder brother made the bold decision to go to Lagos to serve someone, what we call "boi boi"—hoping that after years of service, he would be settled.

My elder brother playing the role of a father at a very young age during my sister's traditional marriage

After he left for Lagos, life became even tougher for me. I faced hardship alone.
Our mum would always tell us to stop working too much—that she could take care of us, but we didn’t listen. We knew she was only trying to console us, because the little she was able to provide couldn’t carry everything.
Still, she made one strong decision: one of her Male child must go to school, and by God’s grace, I was the one privileged to be that child.

We kept hustling through life. One year passed… then two, then three… until eight whole years later, my brother returned home. His master brought him back, but empty-handed.

Why?

His master accused him of stealing money. Just like that, eight years of hard work and loyalty ended in disappointment.

By then, I was already in SS3, preparing for WAEC.
My brother returned to the village—not as a village boy, but as someone exposed.
He didn’t let shame hold him down. He started small hustles, saved for two years, and eventually returned to Lagos.

With God's help, four years later, he had his own shop and began doing massively well in business—despite the disgrace and setbacks his master tried to bring upon him.

Me and my elder brother

So, Who is a Real Man?

Each time I look at my brother, I call him a real man.

A real man is:

One who knows his help comes from God, not men.

One who doesn't let situations kill his dreams.

One who falls seven times but rises the eighth—just like the story behind 7up: failed six times but never gave up.

One who knows the world is not always pleasant or fair—so his expectations don’t break him.

One who acts as the head of the family, not just in words but in action.

One who plans ahead, gets disappointed, but still tries again.

One who doesn’t let life’s pressure stop him from pushing forward—just like my brother.

One who keeps trying, even when it's hard.

One who doesn’t let a woman be the reason for his downfall—a lesson from Samson in the Bible.

A man of integrity.

A man who is disciplined and principled in all his ways.

A real man has all these attributes—and even more that words cannot explain.

Me and my younger brother in my school

Final Thoughts:

Are you a real man?
What is stopping you from becoming one?
Do you truly know what being a real man means?

Thank you so much for reading.
Let’s be intentional about it—we need real men in our society.

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