I wish I didn't think democracy was worth fighting for, either.

Frankly, it gets to be a bit much. And it's not, as you might expect, for the clamor of conspiracy theories that race through my head (though I imagine even that is preferable to the terrible draft that must be whistling through yours). No. It's tiring because each time you go, you're reminded of just how many perfectly self-content idiots there are out there. Those who don't quite know. Because after all, who has the time, in this myriad of happenings and latest influencer duck lips, to pay mind to what's going on in your country? And when there's sweetly voices whispering in your ear that they only want what's best for you, the choice becomes easy. I'll let them tell me.

Those who scorn are another story, though closely related, but they add an unearned layer of moral superiority. Those are, I would argue, the worst. Not because they allow themselves to wallow in their own ignorance, but because they're actually pleased with it. They think they know what's going on. Except you can't. Because this is unprecedented madness. People who've studied politics intently all their lives do not know. You, scrolling through three TikToks and one MSM news article certainly do not know.

They piss me off, people like that, but it's made up for by the feeling of being in the crowd. We need to be in crowds, to belong with somebody. It staves of Alzheimer's, teacher said. Not quite sure this is what he had in mind, but I'll take what I can get. I'm reminded, always, that the only real antidote to the lunacy we're currently experiencing (and I mean globally, not just us here) is togetherness.

And one might argue it's togetherness with the morons aforementioned. That sounds like a job for Jesus. Personally, I know it's their democracy also that's hanging in the balance, and that's about as charitable as I'll get.

But togetherness. The reminder that you are not the only one who sees and is terrified by what is going on around us is strengthening. The ability (while we still have it) to go into the street and yell the foulest, filthiest things at the greedy bastards ruining our country. That's a flicker of hope that not all is lost, and it's tiny. I know.

Several times over, there arose the question: "but will it change anything, us being here?"

A surprising amount of people seem to think the answer is "no", as indeed do I. My being out there means very little. Ten thousand people would also change little. But the overriding hope is that if we make a large enough noise, someone out there who can change things will.

What's happening in this country with Calin Georgescu, the presidential candidate (and rightful president, as some refer to him) whose right to run was denied while people were in the actual voting booth, is a fascinating human experiment. We are witnessing the deification in real time of an individual who was largely unknown six months ago. To say it's shocking would be an understatement. To call it a cult would be close, but I think it transcends traditionally isolated personality cults. We're seeing him become more than just a political candidate (right or wronged), he is becoming a living myth, with all the attributes of a Messianic leader. His word being revered. I've heard countless people say that they'll vote with whoever he tells us to in the coming elections because his must be the right way. Endless praise of his strength of character, humility, personality, faith, courage, everything.

I was listening earlier to a woman who, granted, had been a fan of his for many years, saying how if he ever came to power, he would cleanse every last drop of evil in Romanian government. I thought, well, that's a big ask. I'm personally not so confident he would, even if he did somehow manage to get there. Generally, Messianic leaders who'll rid us of all evil only appear in fairytales, and for a good reason.

It's terrifying and interesting and personally, I wonder if it's not just giving our rage a face, at long last. I often thought during the pandemic that if we'd had a face to unite behind, more people would've come out to protest. I think what's happened both here and in the US is that so much rage has accumulated over the past 5 years, that the presence of evil has become so pronounced on this Earth that we are seeing the rise of a wave of Messiahs. Because we have lost faith in ordinary, faulty, flawed men and women to rid us of the terrible atrocities we've witnessed these past years.

Is that a good thing? Not necessarily. Personally, I'm wary of putting all my faith in any political figure. I do it quite a lot in my personal life and often end up disappointed. And to be quite honest, my personal, private ambitions and demands on figures in my life are much smaller in scale than those we are collectively putting on figures like Georgescu or Trump.

Often, while chanting along with the others, I found myself weighing my own words. How much do I mean it? How much better would my life actually be if this guy was allowed to be president? Probably not very. But at the end of the day, we all need to believe.

We have, as ever, no trouble accepting evil exists. That is evident. But what's truly saddening is that we seem to have also lost faith in the good inside our fellow man. We need, once more, a Great Good to overcome Great Evil. And Heaven help us if we put our faith in the Great Charmer instead, as we seem prone to doing.

Much as I'm behind this movement, I remain cautious. It's worth reminding ourselves that we're demanding democracy back - the right to elect by majority vote the person we think most apt for the job. In our minds, somehow, we seem to have forgotten that person might be good just as easily as he could be really bad, and that is never a safe road to go down on.