A Blank Page Is Screaming At You And Your Mind Is Dragged Down The Rabbit Hole - A Guide To Depression

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In my life I struggled with depression caused by certain things. I managed to see the triggers but I cannot manage the darkness that is surrounding me sometimes. I have learned to deal with it but it will always be there. The thoughts you are about to read are mine in a situation of darkness.

A darkness caused by the look at reality. A glimpse at it and a mind might start spiraling downwards. Take it as an example, a look inside a busy brain that often is on the verge of depression and the reasons why.

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"A blank page is screaming at you. The page wants to be filled. Filled with words, sentences, with content. But what content can you put out if you feel blank inside?

When you are a sensitive person the world you see is not a good one. You become doubtful. Will there ever be a change? A change fo the better? Are we humans ever able to be less destructive, controlling, judging?

Is something like freedom possible with other people always deciding what is right and what is wrong?

To be honest I think that big societies are doomed. What is the freedom of the western world worth if it only contains of materialism. Of filled bank accounts. Of 1% holding the wealth, while 99% work for it, struggling to survive.

What is it worth if the western civilizations are constantly destroying the planet through a turbo capitalism.

What is it worth if only bigger, better, faster counts. But bigger, better, faster equals destruction.
Destruction of the basis of our existence, planet earth. Destruction of ourselves, of our mental health.

Corona is the magnifying glass for the injustices in the world. Too many suffer for what?

For a few sucking the life out of this planet for their own sake. Maybe that is just plain nature, the inevitable laws of survival. But it is not a fair game that is played.

It is not fair that those who speak up, demand a change or just don't want to be part of that game are repressed, silenced, locked up.

It is not fair that having a choice is just a phrase for so many.

Where are the choices? Where is the honest will to make this planet inhabitable for everyone, and not only for the rich or ruthless.

Where are the choices when it comes to the decision of how to participate in a society. No true choice if you don't have money.

Money rules this planet, money equals power. That is never a good recipe for a peaceful world. We live in times where societies are boiling left and right. Where the mental health of millions and entire generations are at stake. Where the survival of all of us is at stake just because a few are greedy.

And the sad thing is that they sell the destruction to everyone out there, disguised as good will and with false promises. Keeping people small, throwing crumbs of calming pills at us, in hope that people don't rise.

Modern slavery is widely excepted because of the promise to live a great life when you are 65+. I don't want to live 65+ years without having a great life, working for companies where only one is having a good life, the owners and shareholders.

When I will be 65 I can be happy if this planet is still habitable for us.

The dark truth is gripping a sensitive person. I manage to see the light, to have faith and to believe in the good of people.

But then the days come where I see that I'm fooling myself. That the signs are not set for change. That the change the planet and us need is not on the agenda of those ruling. That the concept of ruling is a difficult one per se.

Resources are shrinking, water shortage is on the rise, droughts are gripping too many areas in the world, wars are being fought over resources already, always have been I suppose.

No war these days is about a better life for the people, it is about the power of holding resources.

The promises made are a recipe for more wars.

A clean planet possible by driving electric cars? See the wars over the rare-earth elements, whose mining is tearing the planet into the abyss even more?
Driving around with the already existing cars is destructive already but now they sell a promise that is even worse than driving already produced cars.

The eco balance of an electric car is a true horror to look at. What does it take to produce a car like that? Too much and it will never make up for the destruction it takes to produce it.

There are so many things that make a mind like mine go nuts. To be sad and lose positivity.

Sure I can distract myself for a certain time. I can be hopeful, full of fun and joy, full of good will to make a change.
Just to be dragged down the rabbit hole off reality again.

To lose faith in us humans, in those ruling millions of people on this planet.

Injustice is there, visible for those who want to recognize it. It jumps in your face, brutal, honest, no disguise.

It makes you realize that to change it it takes generations, we are running out of time.

I don't want to be stuck in reality. I wanna be in La La land, I wanna be like the Insta - Influencers, like everything is so great and life is awesome.

Life is awesome for those who have a lot, the wealthy one percent on this planet.

They may not be happy people inside, but they don't fear hunger, sickness because they can't afford health care or fear of being homeless. They don't have to fight for their water, worrying what comes on the table or if they survive the next day. For too many life is a struggle for the basic needs.

Depression is on the rise, in every meaning of the word. We need to see the reasons for it, we need to be honest with reality.

It is ugly and painful. It will be ugly and painful. That's what change is. Ugly and painful."

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Getting your thoughts out helps easing ones mind. It may not be of interest for others but hiding is not an option because so many suffer from depression, hopelessness and fear. It is important to talk about why, not making fun of it or belittling it. Those talking about mental health issues are brave people. Just to talk starts a healing process and silence can be deadly.