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This is a post in stages.
A. I have a friend on you know where who has been asking me for money almost monthly since 2019. I first began "loaning" it to him because we'd made an agreement for him to come LIVE WITH ME, and give me half of his disability to help pay his costs (after all, living with me here in Georgia, he would not have to pay for internet, electricity, gas or water, so he SHOULD have come out way ahead)
I searched, I found THIS place and bought it in 2020 (my MORTGAGE payments are now $1245.00 USD per month, and I still have to pay all those costs)
Three months after I moved in, he was supposed to have a bus ticket and was coming to give it a 2 week trial.
Something ALWAYS interfered with him getting on that bus, but the long and short was that he now claims he has agoraphobia (fear of open spaces) and therefore could not get on a bus.
I cut him off for a while, but he is back hitting me up for money nearly ever month.
Only now, he lives in a rehab center because of his health and he said "can I borrow $50 till next tuesday when I can get my aide to go to the bank?"
I just sent him a GIFT of $100 and said DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN.
B. The people who rented the house next door moved to a better place. after the rental company cleaned up, 3 guys moved in, but that quickly disintegrated. The main guy moved out and they got a 39 yr old female with an 11 yr old son as a roommate.
She seemed to be healthy, willing to work, but she would NOT let her son outta her sight.
Employers do not want a child coming to work with the parent (distraction, insurance liability etc)
During the last 8 months, I gave her plants, pots, potting soil and fertilizer.
When I gave her tasks to work for me (for $Pay) it quickly became apparent that she would not/could not follow instructions.
Early August, that lease was up and they all had to get out.
She said she had scheduled a Lyft ride to the new temp house, but it didn't show up. She called me, and I got up from bed (I was sick) put on clothes and loaded her, her son and all they were taking with them in my car and dropped them off (about 4 miles away)
Then, she called and said that her "Subsidized Rent" apartment still wasn't ready, and she'd found another place in JONESBORO (a fair distance south near the Atl airport, where it is very violent with gangs and crimes and shootings) and asked if I would take her there.
OMG! 😮
But I agreed. Then one week ago today, day before I was to give her the ride to Jonesboro, late on Sunday afternoon, she called.
Long sob story short, they had declined accepting her at that place because of her son, but she couldn't get her money back from the website (deposits etc) for 5-7 days.
Ladies and Gentlemen I blew up.
"So cut to the end, HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU?
OR ARE YOU ASKING ME TO LET YOU AND THE BOY COME LIVE WITH ME UNTIL THE SUBSIDIZED HOUSING IS READY?
ummm... yes 😱
No!! Absolutely not, it is well known that if I let someone come stay with you and they decide they don't want to go, I would have to take them to court and get an eviction to get rid of them.
I felt really bad because she has been "living" with the consequences of her decisions for years, and the boy is suffering as well.
Matthew's Beatitudes hold the well-worn saying, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God”
What does it mean to be a peacemaker in the Bible?
A working definition of a peacemaker is someone who is actively seeking to reconcile people to God and to one another.
She was not a Christian by her own admission, but I still felt bad for my words (not my actions)
I would have given her money, but NOT A PLACE TO LIVE
I feel like I have a big "L" followed by a $ sign on my forehead.
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I currently STILL have my brothers ashes at my house, I have a niece who is in the ICU recovering from a "Colostomy Reversal Surgery"
I have two sisters, one who will be 91 in a month if she lives that long, and another sister almost as old who had dementia, a brother who has serious health problems (born 1939) and I
CANNOT DEAL WITH ALL THIS AND MY OWN LIFE*
1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV
And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
I am still praying to be shown the way I can endure all this.
Pray for me
@ironshield
@thekittygirl suggested I post this in this community, because others might be able to learn and/or gain strength from my story
You have shown a lot of patience and generosity. Eventually things come to a point where you have to say "no". You are not a looser, you show greater kindness than most.
Thank you @ironshield
I am glad you listened to Kitty Girl and shared it here. God knows that I have been battling with my mental health from all the shit going on in my life recently. I really hope you find all the strength you need sir. I have taken to reading my bible and praying for strength bit most times...it feels as though God has too much faith in my endurance levels.
Good Morning @deraaa
I hope your trials don't weigh you down too much. It is really hard to know when to stop and say NO.
I get what you mean about God having too much faith in your endurance. My life has been filled with blessings, but it is the trials and trauma (physical, emotional and spiritual) that have left the marks that show.
That doesn't seem right, but it is what it is.
I hope you can continue to endure 💓
Beyond your brother's ashes and niece/siblings with health issues, you have your OWN problems to deal with. It's sad when it piles up like this, and I hope things will improve for you soon! 🙏
🎉 Upvoted 🎉
👏 Keep Up the good work on Hive ♦️ 👏
❤️ @thekittygirl suggested sagarkothari88 to upvote your post ❤️
Thank you so much @sagarkothari88
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LOHtokens.@ladiesofhive, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @jerrytsuseer and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (9/20 calls)
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Hey, Jerry, buddy, can you lend me HBD$50 for an indeterminate time?
Seriously, there is a lot to admire in helping others, but at some point it can become obvious that the "help" is enabling dependency instead of maintaining independence.
Here in our country, the same situation is going on, the inflation has become so high that now it is impossible to spend on the amount of money that was earned in a month, so people are leaving the country and going to other countries. You will be rewarded for your patience.
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LOHtokens.@jerrytsuseer, You have received 1.0000 LOH for posting in Ladies of Hive. We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.