Combining my job and marital life #182

in Ladies of Hive16 days ago (edited)

It's my first write-up in hive and I was Intrigued by the prompt, I mean every woman should.

It's not stale news how we ladies strive day and night to maintain a good relationship with our family while giving our jobs adequate attention as well.

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Image is mine

For me, a woman who's able to effectively combine these two is a woman of value. I work as a medical doctor at the Enugu state teaching hospital, Nigeria. You've prolly heard of the stress we go through, the incessant complaint arising from the lips of many medical professionals— complaints of insufficient time, complaints of stress and so many more.

I'll say I've somewhat managed to get myself together and arranged my schedules. I just got married to the love of my life last year and yeah, at the beginning I felt like how am I going to combine marriage with work? How will I wake up before the sun's rising to prepare meals and clean up while striving to head for the hospital on time to attend to the needs of patients at the wards, patients whose lives wholly depend on you.

It's like serving two masters at the same time. But I guess the popular saying "experience is the best teacher" was never a false one. At the beginning of my marital journey, I had to wake up as early as 6am to prepare meals for my hubby before leaving for work. This was quite more earlier than the time I usually woke up before I got married.

Some days I would stagger while walking to the kitchen. Ever felt that feeling where you're doing some chores but your eyes are simultaneously and insidiously drifting off to sleep? Well, this was the typical me but as the fast hands of the ticking clock went by, my body adjusted to this pattern. I could easily get up by 6am after roughly six hours of sleep without struggling to keep up. The brain is powerful enough to adjust our regular daily patterns to meet up with a new task which it deems as important.

Tears brimmed on the surface of my eyes on some days; while on others,I thought to myself: is this marriage thing actually for me? But all I could do was complain and rant to myself, you can't fight reality neither can you escape nature, can you?

Naturally, over time our body get's used to a certain pattern or regular habbits and re-adjusts itself in every possible way to function effectively without breaking down.

I'm glad I did adjust though. It took about two months to do so. I found myself waking up by 6am and even earlier to answer the call of womanhood, and I did so with contempt. I'd cook the meals, cover it up and place on the dining table with the fork and spoon placed neatly on a saucer. I'd ensure the kitchen is neatly put in order before heading for my car.

By 7:30 am my hands are already on the steering wheel, driving towards my place of work and what better way is there to enjoy a morning ride than a cool jam. I usually played "Don't worry be happy" by Bobby Mcferrin while hopping and bopping towards my destination.

The same old cycle just keeps repeating itself and for things to be in order at homes, it has to be this way, though my hubby supports me intermittently when he has the chance.

If medicine were something you could practice within the comfort of your home, I definitely would have loved it. Gives you more comfort, easy accessibility to home, and of course, less stress. You can take a brief nap on your laptop while working and continue when your eyes aren't in the shadows of slumber rather than striding the whole length and breadth of the hospital each day, depriving my legs of rest and my eyes, of sleep.

Well, it is what it is and all we can do as women is to flow along with the perfect alignment of nature, manage time effectively, in your own little way, then boom! You're good to go. It worked for me and still is, and I can say that I'm a happy and proud wife.

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Marriage comes up with its own great responsibility. And motherhood brings more of them.

Women, who work outside their homes and manage the household well alongside deserve to be applauded.

In a short video a girl was relling about her parents. Both of her parents were doctor. her mother knew how to cook and do the other household stuff while her father didn't. She opined that women have internalised these responsibilities. Why should both the partners be different in the household management while they are same in the outside world. The question makes sense, doesn’t it?

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Indeed, motherhood brings out more of them. The question brought up by the little girl is quite powerful and engaging. It does make sense a whole lot.

Well, I think I had similar thoughts while growing but then, things changed as soon as I got married... Some things are just the way they are especially in this side of the world where I reside.

Greetings @amberkashif

Some things are just the way they are especially in this side of the world where I reside.

Same is the case in my country. It will take centuries to alter the mindset.

Ha! It's not easy combining work and marriage, thank God you said your husband is supportive, this should ease the stress. 💪

He really is and it's been really helpful. Thanks for sharing a comment ✨

Greetings!

You are welcome

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This is one thing that scares me about marriage, the responsibility that comes with it. It is good to know how you have been able to manage both your home and career effectively.

You're indeed a super woman.

Oh! Thank you som much darling. Responsibilities will always arise. There's no need to fear, we'll always cross the bridge when it does.

I congratulate you, you got used to your new routine quickly and even more so when your work is so committed, I have always admired doctors. I tell you that even after 9 years, I never got used to the routine I had, it was exhausting for me, getting up at 4 A.M. and going to bed at midnight. Fortunately, I changed that routine 7 years ago and now I am very comfortable.

Greetings.

9 years? Wow! I guess we all have different body systems and react to stress quite differently. I'm glad you eventually changed your routine and found what suits you best.

Thanks for your amazing comment. Greetings!

Thats the greatest experience of all, Marriage. I found it very hard at first when i had my kids. Preparing for work and also preparing them but like you said, i got used to the pattern such that it no longer became a problem to me. Thanks for sharing, this would help any single lady aiming for marriage.

Yeah, it just becomes a part of you. I'm glad this write-up serves as a great help to people out there.

Have beautiful day ahead ❤️✨

Definitely being able to balance all the responsibilities that we have today as women is a blessing, and it saves us from a lot of discomfort, as you say my friend, little by little the body adapts, but it is always good to set limits to be able to move forward. Thanks for participating, hugs.

It does save from discomfort indeed @marivic10 . I really appreciate your comments.

Greetings ✨

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