I want you to pursue me, pursue enough for me to measure for what it is worth to turn back gracefully and accept the apology when I await for nothing but to return!
Do you not believe I am at least worthy of that much of your effort or persistence?
I mean, I too have certain values and certainly I would not want to just go back to the way we were just because you said it was a mistake and you want me back!
You too are very much well aware that this matter is not as simple to just pretend to forget with a simple apology. Even if you cry, even if you express how measurable life is without me, I cannot help but go back to the event where you simply cut me off as if I meant nothing to you again and again.
I ought to ponder how easily you throw away everything we had, we have built for such a long time and believe that "if you can do it once, what is the guarantee that you would not do it twice!".
Regardless of my belief, I must pretend I know nothing about you, I must stick to the rational outcome of the thought process the events indicate, and I must decide based on the action. Even if I know, you are not such a kind of person, and yet, to my unpleasant surprise, you did simply walk away, just like that, without turning back once. So, here I ask what is the base of my beliefs of "No, you are not like this!" because now I do not believe in the heart that was betrayed once regardless of the solid foundation! Now I believe the rationality that implies, it is foolish and utterly foolish to go back when you have already moved on!
I want you back too, but my friend, not so effortlessly. If you just simply say, it is up to me to decide, I will decide to move forward without looking back once. If you are not desperate for me to return, I will not return. If you do not pursue me to return, I will not consider looking back. If you simply say sorry, and want me to comprehend all the grievance and misery from that ONE SORRY, no... I cannot, I will not.
Even if I still miss you, even if I want to go back hundred times, even if I regret not turning back, even if I know how agonizingly you miss me, how much you yearn for me...
I will live on with my regret without you rather than be happy where my worth is not what it should be.
I just can't.
Not like this.
Not like this.
I'm forced to look behind
I'm forced to look at you
You wear a thousand faces
Tell me, tell which is you
[the song is a part of the lyrics of "Thousand Faces" by creed]
All the contents are mine until mentioned otherwise.
