Reality is "Bendy"

_{Aaron Huber on Unsplash}

I'm not gonna shy away from telling you upfront: this post might be woo-woo for some.

For others like me, who are 50% crazy and 50% trying hard to be a functioning member of society, this could be an eye-opener, or at least something to reflect upon.

As I got older, I started to notice the "bendiness" of reality. I've always tried to question the "forces" behind everything, collating perspectives from people I respect and ultimately forming my own conclusions.

Let's cut to the chase and let me serve you the woo-woo.

Reality is not like what it seems.

Only makes sense, again, if you have the 50% crazy open mind to think about it.

Not trying to be defensive, but I'm a very analytical person.

Just to give you a bit of background, I'm a web designer who dabbles in programming, anthropology, and does marketing automation for a living. The last one is an important bit because I use large amounts of data to analyze marketing results.

I believe in things I can measure. I rely on facts.

But these past couple of years, there was a major breakthrough in my life. People around me started dying, people that I love. The longing to connect with those I lost pushed me to a little recluse and back to nature. I sought them in every butterfly, every flower, and the wind that blows.

I had to push my mind to believe beyond what I can see.

I realized that life itself is neutral. It's not a causal world where everything happens for a reason beyond what you put into it.

_{Michal Mrozek on Unsplash}

We give life meaning.

My mother did not die because... or I did not suffer because... Life happens. But I am also free to put any word right after 'because' and make it real.

But there's something about knowing that there was no outside reason aside from what you give it that makes it liberating. You become more intentional of the reasons you give. You start to understand that you are co-creating with God, instead of a victim to forces you can't control.

When I started to lose grip of my old understanding, I became stuck so many times in my journey. I tend to overthink-- to over-analyze why something happened.

I look at the possible causes and even look forward to possible outcomes based on my conclusions.

Last year, I came across the I Ching while studying the Tao te Ching.

And like everyone else who has stumbled across this mystical text, I started to "consult the Oracle" whenever I'm stuck or in a dilemma.

I cast a hexagram when deciding whether or not I should accept a job offer last May, or something as trivial as whether or not I should extend my stay at the hotel.

I lifted all my over-analyzing to some third-party agency and trusted the process. I realized that this kept me free from my old models of reality. It gave me a fresh perspective that I can lean to only if I trust the process more than my own understanding.

And 9 times out of 10, I always get crystal clear answers from the Oracle.

That's when I stumbled upon the idea of Synchronicity by Carl Jung.

It was interesting because he wrote the foreword of the I Ching translation by Wilhelm, and this allowed me to dig deep.

He argues that Synchronicity allows us to be exposed to "meaningful coincidences." This means there might be remarkable events in your life that seemed like they weren't coincidences, but they were. It's just that we are frequently presented with things that are meaningful to us.

_{Muhammad Faiz Zulkeflee on Unsplash}

I've never seen or heard of the car "Territory" until my friend mentioned it 2 months ago. I saw the car 5 or 6 times the next day.

Or the word "Tableau" is not very frequently used (in my reality at least). Yesterday, my partner asked what it meant. I had to Google the definition to know what it was. For some reason, the word was popping up everywhere--from blogs, a book, and a newspaper column.

That's Synchronicity in action.

Carl Jung suggests that it's not a causal reality. It's not a cause-and-effect universe. Sometimes we formulate the cause based on our understanding, and oftentimes our understanding creates the effects.

He suggests that the three coins you cast for a hexagram in I Ching are connected to a greater reality. It starts there, with your intention, and from your intention, answers are presented to you.

If that's not mind-blowing for you, I don't know what is.

That's what I meant by bendy.

I'd like to expand on this with some real-life experiences. Like how this understanding helps me close my project interviews with a 90% success rate, or how I used this understanding to get a higher win rate on "games of chance," but that's for another day. I'll add it here as a series.

For now, I'd like you to ponder on that. Reflect on it...

Life is neutral. We put meaning to it. If this is true, we might as well be very careful with our thoughts and rethink how we believe in ourselves.