Most people have a lot to say about their dreams. But I am not like most people. I don't have a dream. Well, maybe, to have a purpose?
This is my first-day off-campus internship as a pre-service teacher. My mentor or the assigned teacher I'm partnered with was not around on my first day, but she was the library-in-charge, which explains why I'm surrounded by dusty books and shelves.
I travel while the moon is still out at 5:00 AM to get to 6:15 AM class without rushing. I had to be early since I live 30 minutes away from my assigned school. It's refreshing since I'm not really a morning person, and this schedule enables my body to be active again during early mornings. But also draining since I'm not a morning person, therefore, I stay up late at night. I would only have 3-4 hours of sleep during my first few weeks. And I'm a literal owl with my baggy eyes.
Walking alone, with the early morning breeze kissing my skin, I begin contemplating my life decisions. Am I really meant for this? Do I really want this? Did I really dream of being in this situation? When did it start to feel heavy?
I had my teaching demonstration while having a cough and cold. I was losing my voice, I had to use a lapel microphone in class.
And then I saw the students. I heard them cheer, laugh at my examples, and give the correct answers to my questions. When I asked, 'Did you learn something today?' They'd say, 'A lot.' Right then and there, all the exhaustion and pain magically healed.
I found myself already looking forward to the next day of my lecture with them. I carefully studied my lesson to make it easier for them to understand. I suddenly wanted to make sure they learned and truly understood the lesson. What has gotten into me?
One time, I was so demotivated that I even rethought whether my decisions were right. I was also affected by how certain students were difficult to handle. But what is this? Why do I feel fulfilled?
Why do the dusty shelves in the library don't bother me anymore?
How did I return to reading to keep my sanity despite the struggle?
Perhaps I have found purpose in both my personal and academic/professional worlds.
I guess that's the key—finding purpose is the only drive to keep me headstrong. After all, it's my only dream. How about you, dear hivers? What's your dream?
Good job! In this world things happened to test us how determined are we towards our dreams and goals. But I want you to remember that we humans plan our course but it is God who will establish it :) If you find teaching is your calling congratulations. Teaching is not just imparting your knowledge but yourself also. Good luck on your journey and congratulations :)
Thanks for reminding me that what matters most is God's plan for me, which will surely bring peace and happiness to me. This means a lot!
Your words are so raw and reflective @zimmieee . It’s interesting how purpose sometimes sneaks up on us when we least expect it. Maybe dreams aren’t always these grand, well-defined things—maybe they’re just the quiet pull toward something that, despite the exhaustion and doubts, keeps us moving forward. I love how you captured that shift, from questioning everything to finding fulfillment in the smallest moments. Wishing you more of those little affirmations along the way!
so consoling, thanks for your kind words!
It often happens, sometimes and for different reasons we come to wonder if we were called to do what we do, mostly when things are not going so well, or when we are exhausted, but then things like what you experienced with your students happen, this motivates you and helps you understand that you are doing your part and you are on the right path.
Cheers, excellent story, you are in the right place.
indeed the right place to hear/see these kinds words from sensible people like everyone here is. thank you so much!
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Good job there ma'am!! While reading your blog, I realized the hardworks my teachers gave us also. 🫶
We may question some things in our life, but the fact the it can still make us happy, isn't that enough reason to go on and take the path we chose ourselves? You found your purpose while taking an unknown route and now look at you, enjoying the things you found exhausting before. As for my dream, I wish I have a dream, you know, that ine where I can really strive hard when it comes to profession ha. But right now kasi all I dream was to earn a lot of money to do what I want 😫
thanks for sharing about your dream. rooting for your success!
Sometimes we are confused what we really want, but along with our journey we found our purpose, if you are happy what are you doing now then go on, if that your heart desires.
you sound so sincere. thank you so much! hoping for favorable things to come your way, too!
You write so beautifully.
Sometimes dreams aren't always big it's in the smallest things that makes us happy and fulfilled. Its also not easy but it something that brings joy. I listened to a podcast that said passion is when you continuously do something even if it would be easier to give. If it's any consolation I think you are doing a great job
Thank you for saying that!
Your blog was like talking to my soul, very nice ❤️
thanks for dropping by, beautiful!