Dear Community, this time I come to you with not very good news.
I’m certain that a few of you noticed my outburst on Threads a couple of days ago. I’m clearly not in a rational state of mind, and currently not in a position to provide good leadership for this community. I have doubts that anything I have actually contributed has been worthwhile, given that I myself failed to implement it – and I will not be a hypocrite by carrying on the same way. The first part of the Hippocratic Oath involved “doing no harm,” and I intend to make sure that my further actions will do no further harm.
Even though the community here at Hive has been wonderful to me, and I do have the finances to continue this project, my current inability to lead it the right way is going to be a significant hamper. I had intended to build this all to the point that it would be self-sustained and I would only be peripherally involved for major decisions, but we did not yet reach this point. Hence, this has become an early termination of this project.
Not to mention, I had planned on eventually expanding the scope of my posts on Hive, including revealing who I am and posting some of my artwork. In light of my mentally unstable posting, I will no longer do this. Believe it or not, in my field of work (healthcare), mental instability is significantly frowned upon, which is very ironic considering we’re supposed to be the profession of empathy. I will not risk my career nor my reputation this way.
I believe that leaving Hive will allow me to do things for my family that I have neglected. I have been a terrible son and human being. The way I lead my life now is unacceptable. I am not a man, but a petulant, selfish child. I must become better for the sake of my small family. Based on my current behavior, I don’t think I will ever consider myself a true man, but I certainly will attempt to turn into one for the rest of my life (no transgender jokes here, please… I know the phrasing is silly).
My only two options were to end my life or to improve myself as a person, which involves a complete overhaul of who I am. The first option would devastate my family (which I find irrational, given that I feel myself to be a huge burden on them, but again… I’m also not thinking rationally now), while the second option would at least permit me to help them to the best of my ability. Not to mention, the first option would be cowardly and selfish and I’m ashamed that it came to mind at all (although I deserve for it to happen, that’s completely different than using it as an easy way out). Thus, the choice was clear. This overhaul will be very consuming, and with the time needed for my job, I can only do so much.
Thus, I’m going to start dismantling things in the FreeCompliments Community piece by piece. It is not something I will effectively handle anymore.
All promised rewards for October will go out. I will ensure that everything which has been promised thus far will be honored. All rewards, contests, etc., will be completed as normal for October. All jobs will be paid.
However, the first thing that will be removed is the monthly HSBI rewards for Comments and Threads (where 10 comments and or Threads earn 1 HSBI). This is to reduce the time I use in sending out rewards. The associated contests for Threads engagement and overall engagement will also come to an end. Certain jobs for November’s timelines will also come to an end. Finally, the early member rewards for November will also be removed.
Those that were here for the HSBI rewards can thus leave if they wish.
Since I have a reserve of liquid $HIVE on @fc-arbitration (and also some additional $HIVE I was trading from my personal account with the intention of sending over to @fc-arbitation), we’ll likely be able to continue sending out the daily rewards for posts for another month or two. I’ll also keep the curation going throughout November, possibly December.
I’ll discuss the mental health initiative with my Mental Health Ambassadors. I currently pay them using HBD interest (in addition to HSBI), but would prefer to take those funds back. If they choose to continue for another month, I’ll keep this in place.
Threads curation is also something that I can continue for another month, but after that it will end.
I have a lot of medicine posts which I have written and not yet published, so the majority of my remaining posts will involve publishing these. After that, I will request Joseph Savage, the founder of HSBI, to send back the HIVE I contributed for HSBI from my personal account. It will not be an emergent, immediate request, and I have full trust that Joseph will return these as they become available. I will not rush it.
I will keep the community accounts’ HSBI intact for a while. There are some people who earn beneficiary rewards from @hive-140084’s posts, and I intend to schedule those to continue for a long time. Since this account will lose the HSBI that I personally gifted, its rewards will eventually decrease, but not entirely.
Why is this update unofficial? Because I understand that I am currently not in a rational state of mind. I’m genuinely a little bit nuts. Thus, over the course of the next week, as I deliver the rewards and contests for the community per their regular schedule, I am giving myself an opportunity to get back into a more normalized state of mind. Maybe by that point I will change my decision. However, due to the family obligations listed earlier, I don’t foresee this being the case.
Thus, expect a formal, official leadership update sometime in the first half of November.
Conclusion
I am sorry to everyone that I have let down. I hope I have done you no harm. Ultimately, you may continue participating in the community as you see fit. However, it will not be the financially rewarding place that it has been over the past couple of years.
You have been too good to me. I did not deserve your kindness and welcoming nature. My family also deserves better. It is time for me to do the right thing.
Disclaimer: FreeCompliments (@hive-140084) will be a 20% beneficiary for this post.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
Dear Community, I have an unofficial leadership update on the community. For those who are particularly active in the community, please take the time to read, as it will certainly affect your rewards for participating, and hlep you decide whether to stay within the community.
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You have to take care of yourself and your family first. No shame in that. There is a real problem in the medical community looking down on those with any mental issue, the last thing you need to do is let any of them find out. Ironically medicine and the military are the ones who frown upon it most, and they're the two who should embrace it.
Rebuild yourself and make your life a happy and productive one. There is always time for change and that first step you've already taken, recognition. We all have our ups and downs in life, believe me I know. I hope you can turn things around to the point that you and your family can be proud of the life you choose to live. Good luck with the remainder of residency and in your medical career. It can be very rewarding, but stay away from those mRNA vaccines, they can end your career!
Very well said, brother, and I appreciate your personal experience. Too late with the vaccines... but I only got my first 3 and stayed away after that. Cheers!
And please let me know whether you'd like to extend the MHA payments for another month. I likely won't be involved at all beyond sending out the payments.
Sorry to here this state. I am sure you can recoup and emerge stronger, your mental health and rebuilding it should be the top priority, everything else can wait. You just sit down with your family...open up completely.....go to any hill station, do meditation, deep breathing has a direct bearing on the state of mind, do that, and heal yourself, once you are healed from within, that energy will radiate outward and your surrounding will suddenly turn positive and your family will also be benefited from your aura. So it might sound weird, but I would suggest you visit a hill station, and such a place where you can seek solace, throw your smartphone or any such communication device(except for emergency purposes) into the dustbin, go for a meditation session, sound meditation, breathing meditation, it will help you tide over this current state.
Stay blessed, my all the best wishes are with you.
🙏🙏🙏
No hill stations in the US, but I get the idea - nature may be a good idea.
Too bad I work 6 days per weeks now, and will spend the remainder of my time on other priorities.
Nevertheless, I can fit in meditation. It's something I told myself I'd do for a long time, and I know it's helpful. Should have begun earlier, but now is as good a time as ever.
Appreciate your suggestions. There are other things for me to do as well, but meditation is a significant addition.
Sure, you can choose any place that has preserved the Nature's calmness. I can tell you from my experience that it will work for sure, you just need to be a bit consistent on that. Do not forget to deep breathe as and when you can in your home or at your workplace. That also works tremendously. Unfortunately in our society, much less have been prescribed for mental health. And everything has been tied to medicines and similar things.
Stay strong, I am sure you can recover and will be a man full of a strong aura after some time.
🙏🙏🙏
Always remember one thing---> Real Meditation= State of thoughtlessness
As long as your mind is engulfed with so many types of thoughts you can not heal yourself; you can not be in a state of meditation.
If you deep breathe, it will decongest your mind from random thoughts. So deep breathing is the first step, slowly start focusing on your breathing, which is going in and out and slowly you will observe that you are inching closer to the state of thoughtlessness.
If you achieve this state you will be in a different plane altogether, you will be in absolute bliss.
Try it and feel it.
It is time to relearn this. I have to set aside a few minutes per day to do this. A justification is that it will help me help my family more effectively.
Sure.......U will explore a new personality within you after some time.
👍👍👍
It's a tough story to read.
I feel your anguish as if it were my own.
We've been sharing a common path for what seems like a long time, and I never imagined that your stopping point would be before mine. I understand your reasons and there's no need to explain further.
You've built a beautiful project here. I remember reading your interview, I believe on the HSBI website, where I learned about your previous attempt to found a community on another network.
Being here is proof of your resilience, and we know (with certainty) of your ability to reemerge as a person and a professional. It's just a matter of giving it the time it takes.
I hope you can face the possibility of a break.
Without a promise or a commitment, just the possibility of your return.
I intend to stay here until then!
It came on suddenly for me as well. Literally a few days ago I was discussing the future of the community.
I don't think it's meant to be at this time, at least not with my continued involvement. Maybe it can thrive on its own accord. We'll see. I'll give it a week's time.
You're among the most dedicated people I've come across, and I'm eternally grateful for what you've done for the community. 🙏
Respected colleague @freecompliments
Do not limit yourself to expressing what you feel. Free yourself, let go, and let go of what does not generate well-being. It is a good start to flow from selfhood to transmit to otherness. At this moment, you need to move away from the convulsive and flow in placidity. Self-love with your loved ones is the best incentive.
You are an example of good leadership, from understanding and comprehension, always with your manifest disposition to solidarity, with empathy, and attitude, prioritizing the collective benefit, exalting with your actions the essence of our Hippocratic oath. Always resourceful, promoting group decisions, valuing your fellow men, cultivating and spreading kindness.
You need to focus on your balance and moderation, with harmony and synchronicity, staying in the present, thinking of yourself, and prioritizing your loved ones. You decide to maintain confidentiality, which is not in discussion, sometimes our profession, well to be honest “some colleagues not all”, forget that above all we are human beings who feel, suffer, get tired, also get sick and a long, etc of conditions of our human nature.
My recommendation is that you do not make decisions a priori, and take the necessary rest for the time you consider, if you consider it feasible to delegate do it, you are appreciated and valued, and we need you with us. Find and recover your rhythm, but above all stay away from everything that does not vibrate in you.
I am here to serve you and guide you if you wish, from the confidentiality that gives us the ethics of medical secrecy, my DM in Discord, is at your service. I advocate for your health and well-being from solidarity and gratitude.
No te limites en expresar lo que sientes. Libérate, suéltate y despréndete de lo que no genera bienestar. Es un buen comienzo fluir desde la mismidad para transmitir a la otredad. En este momento, necesitas alejarte de lo convulso y fluir en la placidez. El amor propio con tus seres queridos es el mejor incentivo.
Eres ejemplo de buen liderazgo, desde el entendimiento y la comprensión, siempre con tu manifiesta disposición a la solidaridad, con empatía y actitud, priorizando el beneficio colectivo, exaltando con tus acciones la esencia de nuestro juramento hipocrático. Siempre ingenioso, promoviendo decisiones grupales, valorando a tus semejantes, cultivando y difundiendo la bondad.
Necesitas centrarte en tu equilibrio y moderación, con armonía y sincronía, permaneciendo en el presente, pensando en ti mismo y priorizando a tus seres queridos. Decides mantener la confidencialidad, lo cual no está en discusión, a veces nuestra profesión, bueno para ser sinceros «algunos colegas no todos», olvidan que ante todo somos seres humanos que sentimos, sufrimos, nos cansamos, también nos enfermamos y un largo, etc de condiciones de nuestra naturaleza humana.
Mi recomendación es que no tomes decisiones a priori, y te tomes el descanso necesario por el tiempo que consideres, si consideras factible delegar hazlo, se te aprecia y valora y te necesitamos con nosotros. Encuentra y recupera tu ritmo, pero sobre todo aléjate de todo aquello que no vibre en ti.
Estoy aquí para servirte y guiarte si lo deseas, desde la confidencialidad que nos da la ética del secreto médico, mi DM en Discord, está a tu servicio. Abogo por tu salud y bienestar desde la solidaridad y la gratitud.
I appreciate your kind words Marilour! Right now, my family takes precedence for me over everything else. Maybe someday I'll be able to focus on myself, but I do not feel that this is the right time. I cannot be selfish. Your words will resonate in different ways as I continue to improve myself, and hopefully even more so when I regain my rational state of mind.
All the best to you. You've always been a gem and full of incredible words and wisdom, and I hope that you continue to share your thoughts for a very long time.
!LUV
@freecompliments, @marilour(5/10) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community | HiveWiki | <>< daily
Get well mate.