Psychology is a crazy thing to be honest, and I’m the kind of guy that doesn’t pay attention to many things that other people try to tell me discreetly. Most of the time people don’t want to tell you exactly what they want, it’s always a game about finding their real intentions and motivations in something, making it a bit annoying for my taste.
Favors
People most of the time want to reach you for a favor, just the closest friends you have are the ones that really care about you (and it is not always like that). But if you think about it well, socialization and community is all around favors and interests if you take a closer look, we need or think in somebody just for an interest, benefits he/she will bring to us, some people don’t like to think that way and me neither but is the reality and we get used to it.
There are different types of interests, one better than the other ones, but in the end, all benefit us in some way, for example, your best friend, probably is your best friend because he/she treats you well, gives good advice, is good at keeping secrets shut, etc. And there are others that are less personal but, in the end, there are interests and benefits as well. The point is, we can’t judge people for that because we all do that kind of thing, whatever our intentions are.
Being direct
The problem starts when people don’t ask what they really want, and pretend that the other person knows what it is. It is something I can’t stand, I like when people are direct in their desires, without hiding second intentions, just being direct.
It’s like politicians, they can do something but they really want other things, and that kind of attitude is adopted by many people in the world. That just brings up confusion and misunderstandings, making it harder to do what is intended.
Fear of rejection could be the main reason for this attitude, and it is understandable, because nobody likes rejection of something they want, but in my experience, I got the best results by saying what I really want and being direct in my intentions. Because if you treat people, they could have helped you once, but for the second chance probably they will think twice before helping you. People always remember, when you see somebody and remember something they did to you, be sure that the same exact thing happens when another person sees you.
Nobody gives a damn
At the end we are living our lives and we don’t have to care about what other people think about us, but don’t you feel like a waste of time pretending something that you don’t really what or losing time expecting something from the other person without knowing if it will work out? In my opinion that's too exhausting, I can save all my time by being direct with my intentions and they would see if they can help me or not, and that’s it.