The Art of Giving Criticism

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to continue my youtube journey. I started to post videos of my crochet tutorial again. The latest video I uploaded was about the Basic Crochet Stitches. (Shameless plugging. LOL) I then began receiving comments and messages. Some giving positive feedback, some giving advice and tips, and some giving criticism.

Back in my younger years, whenever someone gives me a negative feedback, my reaction would either be defensive about it, or just pack up and leave. Neither of the two are healthy reactions. It was only when I entered High School when I started to appreciate criticism. But did you know that there is an art in giving criticism?

The Art of Giving Criticism

_{Screen captured from Merriam-Webster}

One of our advisers back in highschool enlisted me and some of my classmates to a Leadership Training Seminar. To me, that was just some free time away from schoolwork. Free lunch, free transportation, and no stress about the day's lessons. My intention was to just be there in the seminar, "try" to listen to the speakers, and just mingle with new friends from other schools. Little did I know that I would learn something from that seminar that I would bring in my life up to today.

Kiss, Kick, and Kiss Approach

According to a song, there's no easy way to break somebody's heart. But there is. Remember that the ultimate goal of giving criticism is to help the receiver produce better output in the future be it a video, an article, a photograph, etc. One of the hardest part I encountered when giving feedback was separating the person from the output. I learned it is much more effective to critique when there is no personal judgement whatsoever from critic. Look for the strong and weak points of an article (or a call recording in call center setting), and set out to tackle the weak points as it is. Then, provide the most truthful and honest feedback as much as I can. But always end the critique by leaving a feeling that there is indeed room for improvemen - and ensuring that the one being critiqued feels happy for receiving the criticism.

Start the critique lightly

Whenever you provide coaching and feedback, it is best to look for the strong points first. Build up the person's confidence. Try to make them feel good about themselves. No matter how terrible something is, that seminar taught me that you should still try find a good part. Kiss means give them something they should be proud of in that output.

When I was still in the call center industry taking calls, I received one call where I had to have the caller repeat his concern at least five times. It was a terrible call. I myself could not find any good point. But my supervisor was still able to see some strength in it. She said that during that call, she still felt my willingness to help.

I know that was a bit inconsequential given that call was not one of my best calls in my entire call taking career, but still my supervisor was still able to lift my spirits high during that coaching session.

Be honest and truthful, but be gentle

If someone asks you to give them a critique of their work, don't rip out their fucking gizzard and hold it in front of their face.

-Aldous Snow
Get him to the Greeks

It is an expectation that you provide the most straightforward assessment of the work you are evaluating. This is the kick part of the criticism. Honest and straightforward criticism is of paramount importance, otherwise, you might just as well get stuck in the kiss part of the critique. After all, getting all the weak spots of the ouput pointed out to the person is what's essential in a criticism.

But that does not mean you have the authority to rip their hearts out and crush their souls. There may be instances when brutally honest, direct, and plainly spoken analysis is effective but I still find it better when there is a line drawn when delivering a brutal truth. It is less stressful and heartbreaking when the one you're critiquing still has their selfworth intact.

Encourage and Push them to Move Forward, Onward, and Upward

Now that you have pointed out how bad their video was, or how their photograph lacked the story, or how their novel or article came short on substance and plot, your feedback should not end there. Take note that at this point, their spirits may have sunk low. But this part of giving feedback provides an opportunity to encourage them to look deep into their weaknesses and make them feel that they can improve it and turn it into their strength.

Compare it to the part where you give your child a hug after scolding them for doing something wrong and explaining their actions and the consequences.

By doing this kiss part of the criticism, you are communicating to the person that the feedback was not about them, but about the work you are critiquing. This part is as important as the kick part because without it, your criticism may not be as effective.

Always remember that it is better to see them improve than to have them hate you. They may respect you, but hatred is not something one should be accumulating. There is enough hatred in the world as it is. You could lessen it by not contributing to it.

A note for those receiving criticism

In this kind of hobby, it is normal to receive criticism every now and then. I myself am happy when I get comments and messages telling me of my weak points. Criticism, no matter how harsh or gently given to us should only bring us to one direction: upward. There may be critics who find it hard to deliver a soft blow when providing criticism, but on the receiving end, as long as it's not personal, take it, use it as a stepping stone to improve your craft.

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_{Photos taken from the free to use stock from Canva unless otherwise stated.}