Depending on how you look at it, taking losses is always a gateway into questioning whether we're truly cut out for this journey, which in itself leads to a series of other questions such as what's this journey about or why am I on this journey in the first place etc..
If I'm on a losing streak while simultaneously many of my friends are on an opposite streak, it gets very tempting to scratch out my own convictions based on everything I've learned, even though our principles and approaches may be different.
This internal conflict becomes more pronounced when I see others succeeding with approaches that seem to contradict my carefully researched methods.
While I'm still struggling to see through the fog, they've already seem to found clarity in chaos. As if they've discovered some secret shortcut to success that has to eluded my grasp.
In many ways, it can be quite a challenge to maintain clarity when emotions are running high. And when the same analytical mind that serves us well in calm waters becomes a fog when we need it most.
I think what really adds fuel to the fire is when it is taken on a time spectrum.
Short Term Losses
Yes, I can make a consolation that my time hasn't come yet but I'm also aware that the future is but a mirage, since everything happens in the present.
Of course, this is just a wordplay on my part. But it's also precisely the reason I tend to find it hard to conceptualize my own definition of progress.
Sometimes, I wish I could just take one train of thought and run with it, in terms of interpreting or representing my current situation objectively.
But this is similar to trying to catch wind in a jar. The jar can't define the wind's nature and the wind isn't concerned with our attempts to measure it.
A consolation that tends to work temporarily, is viewing it from the lens that nothing is at a standstill.
If I'm drowning in a river of losses, I only need to remember that rivers always flow and to keep my head above water as this phase teaches me lessons I couldn't learn any other way.
Maybe it's a moment to refine my approach without abandoning my core principles or just accept that these losses are not necessarily a reflection of my potential.
It could be a necessary part of my evolution. It's not personal, it's the cost of living life on your own terms.
With all of that said, I still need to keep moving forward because life waits for no one.
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