These are all good and valid points. Society in general, tend to look towards men as the abusive parties, but that's not always the case.
I must add that I do feel sorry for women like that, since, as you've mentioned, it's mostly due to negative life experiences that made them that way. With that being said, we all need to see, at some point at least, when what we're doing isn't right.
I would guess it's pretty even between male and female... It's just that males are naturally physically stronger, so they're more likely to be overt narcissists while females end up mostly covert narcissists.