My Definition of Balance

Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that out.
Because you see balancing communication between work, personal life, social life, and everything in between, it just feels like trying to hold water in my hands. No matter how tightly I try to hold it, it always slips through. I’ve always wondered if I’m the only one who feels this way, or maybe I’m the one who hasn’t cracked the mystery code yet to stay connected in a world that seems to demand constant engagement.

I consider myself a social being only when I’m physically around people. Like I laugh, engage, and find joy in the present human connection. But when I’m out of that space, It becomes a real struggle. I’ve never really been that crazy fan of social media. It feels more like I’m fulfilling an obligation rather than a connection, and trying hard to keep up with it adds so much pressure to my life. I end up disappearing for long and it’s not even intentional; It’s just because I simply don’t have the energy to maintain them.

Now let’s take a look at my work life. It’s so intense. I pour so much of everything into what I do, and I won’t lie, I take pride in it. But honestly, that comes with a deep sense of responsibility and a long list of tasks that never seems to end. When I even try to carve out time for myself, I’m either too exhausted to even engage my social life or even check out my mental health. The irony of it all is that even when I’m resting, I don’t always get enough of it. I find myself thinking about the next thing on my schedule or the deadlines I’ve got to meet up.

And then how can I forget that there is family. I don’t joke with them at all. When they need me, I show up. I have forever believed that family always comes first, and I don’t hesitate to prioritize them. But while doing that, I discover that I sacrifice a lot of areas in my life that also need attention, like my friendships, hobbies, or even my own emotional life. I miss birthdays of people around me most of the times,I ignore unread messages, and even tell myself that I’ll catch up soon enough but soon is such a thing that rarely comes by.

So when I’m asked what balancing communication means to me, I realize I’m not even sure if I’ve ever truly done it well. But the truth is, connection needs more than the leftovers or fragments. It requires my presence, my intentionality, and most times, a willingness to press the pause button on the noise and just connect with the real world whether they be in person or virtually.

Maybe balancing communication for me, is about choosing quality over quantity and letting myself do what I can, when I can do it without feeling any ounce of guilt.

From my words, you can see that I don’t really have it all figured out yet. But I’m slowly learning to listen to myself and to recognize when disconnection is creeping in even though it’s not an easy feat. Who knows? Maybe that’s where balance begins. Being aware, and having the willingness to grow from there.

All images are mine.
Thanks for stopping by my blog💕

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