COMPULSIVE HELPING - Inability to Say No can become a weakness

Writing about a weak point is not a way of spreading dirty linens outside 😃, rather it shows you know where the problem lies and who knows, help can come from readers. In answer to the task by @hivelearners, I humbly write two of my weak points. Don't fail to advise on how I can improve or change completely. 🙈🙈

I like to write firstly on one weak point I have which people may see as strength. I see it as a weak point because over time, people have really taken advantage of it and it makes me sad.

THE WEAK POINT IS "AM AT YOUR SERVICE" BEHAVIOUR

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I always want to help, Helping people is not bad, but do not allow it to reach a burnout stage or turn to exploitation. I always want to be there for people; ready to do tasks and favours for Friends, family or colleagues. Even the ones I try to reject, I end up feeling guilty and still find a way to assist. Gradually it seems it is becoming an unhealthy obsession- A Weakness!

People believe that the reward of hard work is more work. But it is sometimes taken for granted when you put your effort on duties. You become over burdened with more.

I am already seeing people mistaking my kindness for weakness, probably they feel I do not know how to say No, but it's just my nature to go extra mile for people, to help tidy up things, to help to make things fast or alleviate the stress I see people go through if they are left to do things alone . The worst is that I won't complain. I think I need to develop how to begin to draw the line and say No sometimes.

For instance, I am supposed to be on holidays now but the past eight consecutive days, I have been going to School. A company blessed my School with 40 brand new computers, 40 single tables, 40 rolling chairs, solar inverter, solar panel, coloured printer, scanner, wireless Internet access point, and many accessories to go with it. Some guys were contracted to come to renovate my office and change everything in it so that the new computers can be installed.

They can work alone, all I need is just to go and open the office and any day they are done, I will go back to lock up. But I kept going daily. That's my department and of course am not the only staff of that department but I kept going to supervise them, wondering what if they need a carpenter? A bricklayer?

Unfortunately they did. They needed these two along with an Electrician. I just kept going to help, and each day, I found that they really needed my help, sometimes even to get ladder, digger and even where to buy food. They are strangers sent to turn my office into a world class learning environment. It was so much work. Yet, they could do all that without me. Even after they were done, as early as 6AM yesterday I saw myself heading back to School, to look at what they have done and make sure everything was intact, lock up and collect the key from them. They slept there in the office all through. My office looks amazing now

As if my consecutive eight days are not enough, the School Registrar came and asked that I still come to School today because we want to check our Students performance in the just released WAEC results. The Students have their tokens already, their parents can check for them. Why does the School need to check it again? Well, I still didn't refuse but begged that I be given at least two days to rest my waist. I am already down and worn out. It's not easy moving the old computers and heavy tables away, arranging and setting them up again in another mimi Laboratory. I have really overworked myself, just because I have that "I am always at your service" kind of attitude to requests.

The man agreed that I rest up and come back on Thursday. I was supposed to rest on Tuesday and Wednesday. Did you know that the call from the School Principal woke me up again today? She said that another group of guys are coming again to my office to connect the computers to wireless network.

I was supposed to be angry. But it's my office and wireless network? That means I can browse daily for free from 8AM daily to 5PM? 😅. I had to try and make it. I will massage my waist later. Hahahaha. That took the whole day again.

The Second weakness which I find that I possess of late and which seem to be in contrast with the first is INCONSISTENCY

Sometimes, I get overwhelmed with things and give up or treat them with levity. Especially in areas of trying to learn a new skill. It seems now like, when it is about others, I give my time to help. But when it comes to helping myself, I get tired easily. I have many skills I dabble in which I didn't finish, yet I keep getting interested in more. What is wrong with me? I know it is good to want to get to know a little about so many things, but hasn't it become a weakness now to have several skills but not very proficient in all of them?

"Jack of all trade, Master of none" is a popular saying. I don't want that to apply to me. So I am now streamlining and selecting the skills to work on and get proficient in them. One of such skills is American sign language. I was a student of that class, learning to sign and communicate with the deaf some years ago. It was the first skill I tried to learn but dropped.

Other skills are related to my job. TechSkill will never end, new ones keep coming in from time to time, so thinking I would know everything in Tech World is not possible. However, I need to prioritize some and get back to work until I become proficient in quite a number.

In acknowledging and working on my weaknesses, I like to Say if you one of those who may be in this boat, you are appreciated for being a reason while others smile. However, try not to neglect self care while helping others selflessly.

Thanks @hivelearners, this is my entry into the first contest for this week.

Thanks guys for stopping by