Smiles, I get this particular topic is for me, cause I have been stereotyped for a whole lot of things, things I really had no control over, and I would try share a few here.....
One is the way I talk, I think I was about 10years of age the first time I felt stereotyped. A man came by with his family to stay around my area, he has a son who's older than I am, one particular day this boy came around to buy something from my mum's shop, I was the only one around that day, and he asked me why I talk, act, work and all the way I do, I was like.... "how", he asked if it's because I stay in a place that houses females that's why I tend to do things as a female would. This is just me, I cook, clean, wash and all, also this just how I talk and all.....well, I didn't give him a response, I just laughed cause it's funny and am somehow confused. How does the way I do my things make me less of a human/man?
This should be the second, while in the higher institution, I still get a lot of you haveg girlish attitudes there too, but that aside, there was this guy who claims he comes from Lagos and wouldn't stop speakingg/looking down on everyone, there was a time he said..."All of you agric students are bush people, why will you come to an institution to study agric, y'all will definitely end up selling tomatoes in the market.” It hit me hard, but I smiled. I wanted to say some things and also tell him that my dad's also a farmer too, and that’s how I got here. But I stayed quiet, cause I feel defending myself will feel like begging to be seen. If you can't see and don't know the impact of my course, then I don't believe you know anything at all then.
There was also a time someone assumed I am a yahoo boy, imagine, me😁.....He said it's cause of the way I dress, are you joking, are good or expensive clothes only affordable to those who do fraud..that really made me feel somehow, that same person once told me I couldn't speak fluent English because I speak my native language a lot, I don't get, he even added that I am to local, so he knows I won't br able to communicate or express myself, that really did hit. How does simplicity or me being a fan of my native language equal to being dull?
When you are a guy, people expect you to act tough, to chase women, to never cry, to drink, to smoke and all, and I am not a fan of all those, I am the gentle, soft-spoken, caring and emotional type, and that has made me seen and hear lot, people often question if I am really a man😲, cause I really don't get, does manhood mean shutting down one's emotions. There was a day I cried after a presentation in school, that particular day life had really dealt with me, I almost did not attend the presentation, but nobody knew what I had went through and they started saying different things, some said I was a manipulator, some said I was seeking attention, some said I was pretending and so on. In this same world again, we ask men to speak, to act, to not bottle up their pain and all, yet I was being ridiculed for showing mine.
Lastly, let me talk about the charity work I do, most people assume I do it to get attention, they say...he just want girls to like him, he's just a fraud, he's doing it for his own gain, see who's struggling and still doing charity works....... and so on, it do make me feel bad, I have a lot of things I haven't done for myself, yet I do for people. It made me question myself.....do good intentions still exist, or we e all expected to fit into some negative belief?
I didn’t fight battles and do all the things I do just to fit into someone else’s idea of who you should be. I am not even trying to erase their whateve biases and all. They are entitled to their own opinion, if tvhat's it for you..then fine, I can't keep explaining myself to everyone, cause at the end of the day we can't satisfy everybody. I keep living and being me, while still doing what I do over and over again.
All pictures are mine.
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