We all have our different definition of love. Most times, the definitions of all these things comes from the different experience that we all have for love.
Some people, mostly, those who are new to love, see love as roses, honey and beautiful butterflies, but those who have actually been there for quite a long time, know truly that love encompasses honey and butterflies, but it involves patience and accommodating each other, and even limitlessly loving each other when you both are the pin in each other asses. Welp, I guess. Most times, it's better to know when to give up and not be a fool.
So far, I have come to understand that the first few months of being in love is actually the best months there is, and, really, there will probably not be any time that is as sweet and honey-tasting like these few months. Maybe this is because you just met each other and you're trying to impress each other with your good side, but then, after this stage passes, comes the difficult stage where you begin to find out the flaws of your partner and begin to wonder if you can actually be with the person for the rest of your life.
Most people hold on to the memories of when they first new their partner. They hold on to how sweet and caring their partner was, how gently and, you know, all that, so, they try to subconsciously defend the toxicity of their partner by convincing themselves that their partner changed due to one reason or the other, or even, due to one bad thing the did to their partner.
Lemme share a story with you real quick.
I used to be in a relationship, but I ended everything, and up till now, I still don't know how I pulled that off.
I dated this beautiful girl for almost two years, and it was really butterflies, flowers and honey. I hear most people say that the first few months of a relation is sweet, but after that, the changes to show her real color, but that was not the case for me. In my case, it was like our love grew stronger as time went on. Inseparable.
During the first year, I heard a lot of things about her, and I noticed a lot too, but welp, I'm in love, so, I payed no mind to the tings as i thought was just random gossips.
About 5 to 7 months into the relationship, she cheated, but, I took her back after about a week of quarrels and explanations.
The major problems start a couple of months to the end of the relationship. During these months, I tolerated every single thing she did while hoping that, one day, she will come back to her senses.
The major thing that made me not want to leave her is, when I think of the memories of me and her, the promises we made, things I invested in her, and also, I didn't want my time with her to be a waste, so, I decided to be calm and patient with her. I began to think if I did something wrong, or to ask myself if I'm the problem but then, after thinking, I see that I am not the problems.
It was really frustrating, but then, the memories of the good times, of her good qualities, made me not give up hope, cause' I thought that she will change.
I didn't know when to give up, and I was disrespected over and over again, but I still hoped that, she will change.
Guess what? She didn't, untill after the break up.
I honestly don't know how I pulled that off, but then, I did it.
So I guess, you have seen, from my perspective, why it's hard for people to remain in situations irrespective of how bad it is.
For me, I think it's a good thing, because it teaches people how to be sensitive enough, to know when to leave a toxic relationship.
I came, I saw, and I learned..
Ending such things in the community is actually impossible. We are all different people with different qualities and behaviors, so, it is left for us to reach out to our partner or family when they are hurting us, and if they refuse to change, then, we leave.
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For romantic relationship, it can be like yours that the sweet memories kept you for a long while. In other cases, some do not want to go back to nothing (that's if the relationship romantic or not is tied to somethings like money, school, etc).
yes, different relationships has different reasons for not leaving.
thank you for stopping by
Some people actually take advantage of another when in a relationship, thinking they would stay no matter how hurt they are of the other person using the word "love" to cage them down but many times, it doesn't go well with them unless they'd finally decide to leave such a relationship to find a good one. But it is important to take a decision early enough when in a toxic relationship before it leads to something dangerous.
most times, its only bad experience that can vindicate someone from toxic relationship.
thank you for reading
thank you
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