Introducing RJ
Both Sapien Loop books mention RJ. Technically, RJ is considered unemployed. However, he prefers to consider himself self-employed. He writes blogs about pies and ice cream, and his most noteworthy blogs are about matching pies and ice cream.
In Sapien Loop: End of an Era, RJ’s complaint and correspondence with the Government about his fridge freezer are intercepted by the Carvaress Company. The complaint and the Government’s response infuriate Pardi Carvaress. It might have been the final straw that led Pardi to conspire with Collingswaggle to overthrow the Government.
In Sapien Loop: Frozen in Time, we learn that RJ has been rescued from his region after the Sentray attack. He managed to stay alive by hiding in his new fridge freezer. His pie and ice cream reviews also received praise from Lily.
In the next Sapien Loop book, we can expect a larger role for RJ. To get to know him a little better, I have included his first pie and ice cream matching blog.
The Greatest Pies and Ice Cream Combos Ever!
Hello food lovers,
My name is RJ; ha, as if you didn’t know. I am the maestro connoisseur of desserts. I formerly donned the apron for the prestigious Leaw Food Company’s cakes and pastries division. I created flavours so powerful that they felt more like exotic experiences. In fact, I was too good. Sapiens would abandon their diets to consume more of my sublime creations. I knew I had to stop. I could not be responsible for the inevitable flood of addiction. My employers begged me to stay. I even resisted the three ‘home improvement’ token pay rise. I knew I had to find a new calling. A calling without catastrophic consequences. I decided to start the pie and ice cream revolution.
I am aware that cake is the preferred staple of the podgy Sapien. However, I want to introduce a powerful and safer way to expand your waistline. I want to introduce to you the perfect pie and ice cream combinations. Each week I will post compelling blogs featuring extremely delicious pies and the ice cream complement that will lift your soul from your body. This will become the must-read food blog for anyone who wants to turn their simple rights food into sublime meals.
In my first blog, I will feature Sapey’s three most popular pies. I will present each pie with a few amazing ice cream complements. To finish off, I will discuss which great pies work best with the most popular ice creams.
The pies; here are Sapey’s three favourite pies.
- Pineapple meringue pie
- Mango and custard pie
- Pecan pie
You can’t go wrong with these pies. Unfortunately, the first two pies will not be delivered to your door. They are not included in your rights package. If you live in West, you might be in luck. Pecan pie has been showing up in rights packages recently; thank Governor Lily; she’s the G.O.A.T. For the fruity pies, you can improvise with rights canned fruit and… some other stuff.
Pineapple Meringue Pie
First off, pineapple meringue pie. Sapey’s favourite pie for a reason. The taste is spectacular. Leaw Food Company’s machines may be able to churn out one of these pies in a matter of seconds, but getting hold of one will put you back a few tokens. Therefore, the last thing you want to do is ruin it with the wrong ice cream. It’s all about accentuating this already great combination of sweet and tangy pineapple and the amazingly light, fluffy, and delicately sweet meringue.
The rights option of bland vanilla is actually not a bad choice. The creamy sweetness of vanilla nicely complements the tangy pineapple. This simple addition would move your pie into the upper echelons of greatness, and it won’t cost you a thing.
If you have a job that earns you some food tokens. I suggest that you be a little more adventurous and acquire a fruity ice cream. Mango or passionfruit ice creams or even a lemon sorbet could elevate your pie to heavenly status. Mango and pineapple work wonders together. The great chiefs of the past always included mango and pineapple in their mixed fruit juices. I assure you, tropical freshness will flow through your body.
Passionfruit might not be a Sapey favourite, but maybe it should be. When paired with a pie with pineapple filling, every mouthful will give you an amazing tingle that runs through your entire body; it’ll have you craving for more. If it’s the tanginess of pineapple that has you hooked, why not dial it up even more? A lemon sorbet can do that. The lemon works wonders with the fluffy sweetness of the meringue. Bam! What a powerful contrast.
The ultimate ice cream paring with your pineapple meringue pie has to be one of the coconut-flavoured ice creams. Simple coconut, toasted coconut, and the amazing piña colada ice creams. Wow! Wow! Wow! Tropical heaven in your mouth. Adding the nuttiness of toasted coconut will be too much for most minds to fully comprehend. Please, let your senses take over. The piña colada brings even more pineapple to the mix. There are no words to describe the experience of this combination.
Before I move on to our next favourite pie. I need to caution against some bad ice cream pairings. You must keep away from any variation of chocolate ice cream. I know some of you will be tempted, as chocolate ice cream sometimes shows up in your rights package. The theme of the pineapple meringue pie is lightness and freshness. Chocolate ice cream is heavy and rich. I swear, it’ll ruin everything. This kind of mismatching should be considered a crime.
Another big no-no is coffee ice cream. We do not want to start a flavour war in your mouth that is just going to get ugly. You ruin both a great pie and a decent ice cream in one go. It’s a terrible price to pay for a very silly mistake.
Mango and Custard Pie
Next, we have the mango and custard pie. Leaw Food Company does not compromise on these pies. They use only the finest mangos from the Southern Agriculture Zone. This pie is even more expensive to buy than the pineapple meringue. Sadly, if you rely on rights, you’re not going to be able to sample this wonder pie. Lucky me, I got two of them as part of my ‘severance’ package.
The ice creams that work with pineapple meringue pie also work with mango and custard pie. Yes, that’s right; it includes your bland vanilla. However, if you can afford this pie, I expect you’ll be able to afford a more exotic ice cream.
Ginger ice cream can add an exotic spicy twist to this magnificent pie. The combination of different flavours will hit you in so many ways without overpowering you. Ginger ice cream also works with the meringue pie, but I believe you should save it for the mango and custard pie.
There are a few ice creams that you should never add to this pie. Chocolate ice cream is again on that list. Mango and chocolate clash. You don’t want the finest mangos in Sapey to be overpowered by your stupid rights chocolate. The richness of the chocolate combined with that of the custard is not great. However, this is not the world’s greatest sin. Adding any type of mint ice cream is the world’s biggest crime. There is no harmony between anything minty and mango or even custard. It’s a no, a big no!
Pecan Pie
Finally, we have the pecan pie. This is Sapey’s third favourite pie, and believe it or not, the West Region sometimes includes this spectacular pie in your rights package. Governor Lily, aka the G.O.A.T., had to have something to do with this. Oh, that sweet, gooey nuttiness, it makes me drool just thinking about it. Leaw Food Company can churn out one of these treats in just a few seconds. The ingredients are easily sourced and not expensive. Damn it! This pie should be in everyone’s rights package. That’s it! I’m starting a petition.
In terms of ice cream combos, I have great news. Your bland vanilla works a treat with pecan pie. Of course, my version of pecan pie would contain vanilla extract. This would lift an already amazing pie to heavenly status. Typically, Leaw executives think they know better. Boo to you! Sorry, I sidetracked. Vanilla ice cream has a wonderful creaminess, and that complements the gooey sweetness of this pie.
If you want a crazy, out-of-this-world contrast, you should add salted caramel ice cream to your pecan pie. This will be a lot for your tiny mind to handle. Sweet, salty, nutty, gooey, and maybe even creamy. You’ll be on a high like no other. When you touch back down, you will immediately realise you have reached a new level of enlightenment.
Another great ice cream to add to your pecan pie is coffee-flavoured. This flavour might be a disaster for the other two pies, but its bitterness counterbalances the unique sweetness of the pecan flavour. If you want to be really bold, I suggest you add a knob of cinnamon ice cream with your coffee ice cream. The flavours will be extreme. It might take some of us to heaven but could be too much for some of our super tasters. I recommend with caution, but if you live in West, go for it. It could take you places no other combination could.
So far, I’ve told you to hold back on the chocolate ice cream. Well, you don’t need to if you have a pecan pie. The chocolatey flavour works wonders with the nutty madness of pecans. A true connoisseur would not choose chocolate ice cream, but for the vast majority of you, it’ll work a treat and raise your spirits on those long winter nights.
Now, what not to add to your amazing pecan pie. Yet again, mint flavours are your enemy. Even mint chocolate is a major no-no. The mint flavour will trash the amazing sweet nuttiness of pecan. You’d be a freak to want this combo. Only if you live in West should you even think about committing this travesty.
Fruit sorbets are great for the pineapple meringue pie, but don’t you dare put any on your pecan pie. Yuck! Yuck! No! No! No! The sharp, acidic flavours will wage war on the rich, gooey sweetness of the pecan. Whichever flavour wins this war will seek revenge on your taste buds and much worse. You do not want to subject yourself to this. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies. Trust me, a few dark thoughts occasionally pop into my huge brain.
That wraps up my expert opinion on these killer pies. Before I sign off on my inaugural blog. I’d like to quickly suggest some pies that will work wonders with your favourite ice cream.
Top Three Ice Creams and Some Great Pies
Pineapple ice cream is Sapey’s favourite ice cream. I haven’t suggested it with any of the pies so far. However, it could work with all the above, but it is not ideal. Instead, I suggest you dollop it on a coconut cream pie. Earlier, I mentioned the greatness of piña colada. Here we have another variation of that awesome taste. Another great choice is lemon meringue pie. Yet again, we are recreating that pineapple, lemon, and meringue experience. Doing it this way will cost you fewer tokens. Our great G.O.A.T., Governor Lily, has suggested that lemon meringue pie will become a rights package regular.
Chocolate ice cream is Sapey’s second favourite ice cream, and you can get it in the rights package. As mentioned earlier, chocolate ice cream works wonders with pecan pie. That is a bargain treat if you live in West. Salted caramel pie works superbly with chocolate ice cream. Salty and rich, how yummy! Now, here’s one that might shock you. Pumpkin pie! Yes, I said it; pumpkin pie works with chocolate ice cream. Many so-called critics would disagree, but they do not have my amazing palate. From vast personal experience, I can tell you that the mildly spicy pumpkin flavour goes very well with the richness and sweetness of chocolate. If that frightens you, ginger ice cream is a very safe bet for your pumpkin pie.
Last up is what I call bland vanilla. Since it’s such a popular ice cream, I shouldn’t poo-poo it. I think it’s because it’s in every rights package, and we’ve grown so accustomed to it. On a more positive note, vanilla ice cream is incredibly versatile. It works great with most pies. That’s great for those who heavily rely on rights packages. I do not caution against any combination in particular, but certain pies match better with some ice cream flavours. I delve into those in my upcoming blogs, which you cannot afford to miss, literally for some.
Time’s Up
Well, that’s it for today. I will be back next week with another lifesaving blog. Before I ascend to my rooftop pool to indulge in one of my new pie and ice cream combinations, I want to leave you with this link, letuschooseourpies.com, to a petition to the Government of Sapey. In this petition, I’m asking for greater choice of pies and ice cream flavours to be included in the rights package. Not everyone has the motivation and energy to work for food tokens. If you’re fat, lazy, or stupid, you need to sign this petition. You have the right to a great quality of life.
Au revoir, RJ
RJ's pie and ice cream blogs became incredibly popular. He gained thousands of followers within a very short time. RJ also wrote several blogs on how to make your own pies and ice cream. These were less popular as his readers struggled to follow his instructions. RJ decided to dedicate his time fully to writing about matching pies with ice cream.
His fame reached the Capital Region, where even Governor Lily read some of his blogs. This also prompted her to take note of his petition. Eventually, a bill was passed in parliament that allowed Sapiens to choose the flavour of the ice cream and the types of pie to be included in their rights package. This was a huge win for RJ, and the companies that made pies and ice cream had an even larger flow of income from the Government.
Several months later, the debate shifted towards making fresh cakes a Sapien right. This led to the events that unfolded in Sapien Loop: End of an Era.
Images were created with the help of Bing Image Creator
Sapien Loop Short Stories
Sapien Loop short stories explore the adventures of some of the characters from the Sapien Loop series. These stories are intended to reveal more about individual characters and the events that have helped shape them.
Currently, two books from the series have been published on Amazon; see links below:
All individual chapters can be found on my @captainhive account.
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Oh man I’m so hungry now! RJ is a food genius!!
He certainly thinks so. I guess the popularity of his blogs indicates that he is probably right. There are a few combinations I wouldn't mind trying.
I initially clicked your page because that's a cool screen name. @nonameslefttouse should have thought of that one.. but fuck! You're a pie master.. although honestly I prefer Vanilla with Pecan.. the other two I've never even heard of.. but they sound delicious
There are a lot of potentially great combinations. Vanilla works well with most pies. It's worth giving these other combinations a try; they should be great.
The thing is.. I'm not a fan of Vanilla ice cream.. it's boring
All those pies look delicious!
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