This is my post for #freewriters Monday prompt Have I seen her hosted by @mariannewest
When you have a child that is on drugs, your heart never stops hurting. This picture is of my daughter and her boyfriend, he overdosed five years ago. I really liked him until he started using and now for the last five years, she is doing the same. I am sure she was using when she was with him, it just was not this bad.
If the dogs bark at night, the first thought that comes to my mind is the police are here with the news, and I freeze waiting on the knock on the door. When it does not happen, I pray for her.
(When I see the daily prompt, I write about the first thing that comes to my mind. I do not know if I can do this one.
OK, I got the tears to stop, I thought I did. I will finish this post in a bit.)
My son came by and I always asked if he saw her. He told me, have I seen her, I spent the entire day trying to keep her from jumping off of the bridge. She was screaming that people were trying to put something inside of her. He said people were trying to fish and watching her run around screaming. He said no one called the cops. He said this went on for hours. The only time I wished that someone would have called them.
In the past, I have tried to get them to Baker Act her but they would not do it. They tell me that she has to meet 3 things, I forget what they all were but one of them was she has to be a danger to herself. This time she was. I'm done.
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Oh my! I can see why! How horrible for you. I'm so sorry!
It is something I have to learn to live with, but it does not seem to be getting any easier.
No. It's awful. Does she ever seek help with her addictions?
I have tried to get her help, when she was 17 I did what is called a Murphy Act on her and she had to go to a rehab, court ordered. She did good until 5 years ago, she is now 40. I have had her Baker Acted several times and the last time they would not do it. She will not willingly go. She is not in the right mind anymore, and she does not look like she used to look, but I still love her and wish there was something that I could do, worse feeling in the world is to watch someone you love..... I cannot write the rest, I hope you understand what I was going to say.
Ohhhh, I'm so sorry. Watching a loved one go down that road, the one leading to ruin, and having no powers of persuasion to reel them back - in 1987 I was advised that my sister (alcoholism) would have to hit rock bottom (I could do nothing but watch and pray). In 1994 she hit rock bottom: a bone marrow transplant (me) for leukemia; chemo and radiation; later, dialysis (her last five years). She continued drinking and smoking (but only 5 or six cigarettes a day!) even while on dialysis....
Meanwhile our marathon running fitness-fanatic sister died only half a year after Lori did. Struck down with a sudden (but very overdue) diagnosis of Stage 4 stomach cancer.
It hurts to watch our loved ones spiral down, especially when their own bad choices contributed to their demise, and I feel for you, and add my prayers to yours for your daughter.
Miracles happen. Not often enough. But the impossible sometimes will happen. I never give up hope.
Hugs!!! Thank you for sharing this!
Alcoholism is just as bad as drugs. I am so sorry for the loss of your sisters. One of my sisters was on drugs, living on the street, and doing whatever it took to get her drugs. She lived like that for 15 years and today she is clean and raising her grandkids. So I know there is hope, but I keep waiting on my daughter to hit rock bottom. I thought she was there two times, but no. One she called me at night and told me where she was, but she was not there. She had woken up on the side of a deserted road, bleeding from her rear end and laying in a hill of fire ants. The other time she was dumped at the hospital ER, rolled out of a car. She had OD-ed, and they gave her Narcan to bring her back, when she woke she took off. Thank you for the prayers.
I'm so glad your one sister got clean, and hoping/praying your daughter will too.
What stories - how do we all survive so many things - and on top of it all, FIRE ANTS.....
Prayers, for sure. I have a litany of people in mind as I vacuum and do dishes and fill up the quiet time wondering who else is out there and what's happening in their lives. Can't think too long or too hard on it but I like to channel the honey bee, flitting from flower to flower, not to take nectar, but to say hello..... to send greetings along through the breeze .... hello, all!
A tough situation indeed; may you navigate it as best you can.
Thank you
I am so sorry ... and I will pray with you...
Thank you, I pray for her every day.
I'm praying for your daughter. I have a daughter who has mental illness and is on drugs who won't call me or talk to me. She took acid years ago and it altered her personality. Now she lives somewhere in Colorado with my beloved grandson. It's heart breaking. ❤️ from one Mom to another. God will save our daughters.
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The same with my daughter, it did something to her mind. My daughter will not talk to me either. She has been through some terrible things, I keep praying that "this one will be her rock bottom" but not yet. I never know where she is at. She lives in the woods and the cops keep making her move. The Meth that her boyfriend, after the one who passed, this one was cooking it himself. They make it out of Comet and Draino, I do not know what all goes in it but she bought a lot of it. At this time she was living with my Mom. My heart is breaking for you. I will never say that it is good to have someone know what I am going through. I will say, it is nice to have someone to talk to.
I could easily sit down and cry a good cry with you over her. She's my only daughter and for years kept my grandkids away. Two came back. One I saw briefly this past summer. She doesn't trust me after all the lies her mom told her. She left her mom and her mom's wife and moved in with her boyfriend. The youngest I was so close to and they lived with us for a while then in the adjoining apartment. When they moved out she got into the drugs and cut me off for good. The youngest is 8 and occasionally, have seen photos from her Twitter (but we aren't 'friends'.) and I save them so I can look at them. She lives in the middle of nowhere in Colorado and he's never attended school. :( I pray, pray, pray. I'm glad the oldest is back and I help her and the great-granddaughter. Her middle brother moved to Washington and once in a while we chat on text. He's 19. I'll pray for your daughter and you.
We both would benefit from the cry. That has to be so hard, I can not imagine grandchildren on top of what else is going on. I guess I am lucky if you can call it that, my daughter has never had a child and at her age, her chances are less. My prayers will also be for both of them.
Thank you. Yes, I have 6 grandkids and she's mother of 4. It was awful for a few dark years until Gabby came back, then Scotty messaged. I get to see my two grandsons from my middle son who lives here now every other week. ❤️
Prayers, I have 8 grandkids, even though 7 of them live within 30 miles, I see the one that we have her dog the most. The others I see on special occasions. When they were little, I saw them a lot and they would spend nights, but now that they are teens, they do not have time for grandma. I have 2 that are 5 and 2, but they live in another town and their family stays busy.
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thank you @wandrnrose7
Welcome ⚘️
My heart goes out to you too @wandrnrose7
---- and grandkids we don't get to see because their mom (our own daughter!) withholds them...
I haven't blogged about it yet, but I'm in that boat too.
Love this, and dittos: ❤️ from one Mom to another. God will save our daughters.
We face many challenges in life and sometimes we have the ability to make sense of, and deal, with them - sometimes not. The drug issue is a difficult one to deal with and I have no words to say that may help in any way, all I know is that in keeping yourself right, you may be able to make an impact upon your daughter. I guess I'm saying, look after yourself.
Thank you for your thoughtful words, I do appreciate them.
No worries.
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BEER.I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is in this bad condition @myjob, and I very much hope that she gets the help that she needs, take care and stay awesome.
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Thank you @flaxz, I wish she would get help. Me being helpless to do anything is hard to cope with. Once they become an adult, being a parent means nothing.
You still mean a lot to her even if she won't listen.
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thank you @flaxz
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thank you @thisisawesome
I feel for your challenge and your pain @myjob. I know how much that must hurt to see someone that you love dearly in such a state. I truly hope for peace, healing, and resolution in this situation with your daughter. 🙏💚
thank you @tydynrain for your kind words. They mean a lot to me.
Absolutely, you're so welcome! I wish I could do more! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙