Meditations on Tinnitus ~ Original Haiku

in Blockchain Poets22 days ago

The other day I was working and took some time to relax. This haiku soon followed.

I lean back
close my eyes
and listen to the ringing


Sleeping Woman - By Kajita Hanko



Another revision I wrote down is

I close my eyes
and listen to
the ringing

That might be a bit stronger—I don't know. I kind of like the image of "leaning back". That gives me a mental picture of a 1930s PI leaning back in his chair, feet on desk, hands behind his head. I wasn't doing that—my desk is a low Japanese style desk and I sit on the floor, for starters—but that was kind of the image in my head that popped in with the haiku.

I have long suffered from tinnitus, that is, ringing in the ears. I've had it all my life. I don't know what caused it. I do have a distinct memory of asking my dad if I could wear his ear buds when I was six or seven—this is back in the day when ear buds were quite large and not entirely comfortable, when the cheap walkman style headphones were the typical ones. He warned me not to play them too loud, or I might damage my hearing. I don't remember suffering any pain, but I do remember that when he took them away from me some hour later, my ears were ringing quite a lot, with that after-noise that you hear when a concert finishes. That might have been the start of it. If it was, then I obviously didn't heed my dad's warnings. I think of this memory sometimes when I warn my son not to do something that could be dangerous for him.

But whatever the cause, I have had it as long as I can remember. When I was younger, it bothered me, but I long ago made peace with it. Maybe that is one advantage of growing up with tinnitus: you get used to it. Sometimes I even use the ringing as a meditation aid when I otherwise can't keep my mind from being distracted.

Anyway, the other day while I was working I paused at once point and enjoyed the silence, which to me always features the ringing in my ears. Then I started to listen specifically to the ringing and the haiku soon came to mind.

Also published on my website

Hi there! David LaSpina is an American photographer and translator lost in Japan, trying to capture the beauty of this country one photo at a time and searching for the perfect haiku. He blogs here and at laspina.org. Write him on Twitter or Mastodon.
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Very evocative. I hear all sorts of things singing to me, but I get white noise when my ears have been overworked. I close my eyes/my kettle sings to me/warm steam rises

That one works too!

I have tinnitis too, a very very high pitch ring.

When I was growing up, I only heard it if I have a fever or had been given aspirin.

In my early 20s it began to ring all the time and has never stopped but one time for a little while. I had been given a medication for something and I woke up in the middle of the first night to silence. It had been so long since there had been real silence, that I checked my own pulse to see if I was dead. LOL! It was back when I woke up again.

I never listened to loud music or the such, but as a child, if something like a balloon popped, I thought it hurt my ears, so I never wanted to be around ballons.

Through the years, it has slowly gotten louder and louder. I can somewhat ignore it most of the times, but once in a while it gets so loud I can't. If it's at night, I get my Alexa to play pink noise to help my mind have something else to focus on.

I thought one day "they" would find a cure. I hoped.

I like your tinnitis haiku. I wish I didn't understand it.

It's interesting how it seems to have different triggers for different people. It's never stopped for me. Sometimes I kind of think it's stopped, but as soon as the surrounding noise goes away, no, it's still there. Oh well.

My husband says he relates.. my noise is usually my husband talking :P

haha. Well, whatever works, eh?

I have it too. It started about 5 years ago. No idea why or from what.
I never listen(ed) to music with headphones… or loud concerts. Or anything I can come up with that would have been the cause.
It is never quiet anymore.
The pitch is very loud and very high… it drives me crazy sometimes. Hahaha 🤣
I wish for some silence again…

I first got it when I was so young that I don't really remember what complete silence is even like. So I guess that's one benefit for me. When tinnitis is all you've ever known, it doesn't seem so bad.

I do understand, you don’t remember any other way.
Maybe someday they find something for it… let’s hope.

!BBH

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