Today, I was reminded about how I used to have trouble sleeping. I would put my head down on the pillow, and no matter how physically tired I was, my mind would start racing, and a thousand thoughts would flood in, dreams and fears. After some exploration and experimentation, I realized what the problem was - I didn't think enough during the day. I wasn't utilizing my brain enough, leaving far too much in the tank, and far too many things undone. One of the biggest reasons for not sleeping, was that at the end of the day, I knew I could have done more than I had and it weighed on me, troubled my thoughts and kept reminding, do more.
I feel like it has been a long time since I have written a poem, so I guess it is time. I have never written an entry into a poem before, as I tend to just let the poem form images in the minds of readers, rather than dictate meaning,. However, this one tonight is another experiment, and will be based on my previous sleep troubles.
Here goes...
It Wasn't Enough
A day gone, and a day to come,
Work started, but left undone,
It sees through that there's more to do,
No lie to tell, but a lie was spun.
You lie to me, and you lie to you.
You can't fool me, I see right through.
And now you lie and you are unable to,
Fall away into the dreaming blue.
All those thoughts come flooding tonight,
Telling you what you don't want to hear,
As you spin it toward a flattering light,
In a vain attempt to avoid the fear.
Head nestled back, legs stretched out,
Fire in mind and a flood of thought.
Calm you should be, except the seed of doubt,
A troubled life, no matter how you fought.
Just another minute, eyes will stray,
Thought will stop and relief will pay.
But forgotten memories come to play,
Can't push them aside to another day.
Morning will arrive and eyes will burn,
Body will protest and stomach churn.
To stay in bed is what you yearn,
Work more - when will you learn?
I absolutely know what you are talking about when it comes to being totally drained from being mentally active all day. It doesn't happen all the time with me, but on the days that it does, it really hits differently!
Physical work is hard on the body, but can be left at the worksite. It is the mental work that comes home, and the work not done that weighs heavy. I changed my approach to "put your head on the pillow knowing you gave the day your all" and it has been far better.
I will have to remember that! I'm able to separate myself from my work a lot more than my wife. She really struggles to shut her mind off when it comes time to go to bed. She has little humans futures at stake though a little more directly than I do.
It isn't just the separation, it is the "knowing" that more could have been done, that wasn't. This might be more an issue for me, as I am a serial procrastinator. :)
I don't envy Mrs Bozz.
Ah yeah, I get what you are saying.
A very good capture of what it's like to lie in bed and be unable to sleep. But you say you used to be unable to sleep. Thinking of your earlier post today, now your sleep is better? Because your thoughts turn off unless you deliberately turn them on? Hey, do you dream?
I had trouble sleeping most of my life, but the last ten years, it has been okay as I upped my workload and then, started writing on top. The switching off the brain might help also, but the improvement predates the stroke.
I do still dream, but it is far rarer and less vivid than before. They also seem less complex.
I struggle with sleep - 6 hours in a row and I've done amazingly well. Physical exercise seemingly makes little difference, but a day of learning can mean a good sleep.
I've found guided meditations have helped me 'be OK' with the days effort, still yet to crack the code for 8 hours.
Exactly. I think this is the key and why writing has been a godsend (there is no god) for me. I get to empty my brain, wear it down a little before sleep, so it is happy to wait until the next day to think again.
8 hours is a dream - I can do it, but I go to bed too late :)
I've been trying for 10pm, usually head down for 11 latest. It's working a little - still waking up before 6 but I have scraped 6 hours the last two nights.
Knowing each other and insisting on letting things go until the damage is done and then regret. What happens to us? It seems that the years have passed in vain, and that nature itself has grown tired of repeating the lesson to us. Come on, man, it's time to slap yourself in the face and wake up. Take it easy, learn and put the lesson into practice. Life is too short, years fly by, and old age is just around the corner.
Old age has arrived, it is just a matter of timing. At the age I am now, I would be close to death 150 years ago, but I likely would have done much more in the life I had. We now live almost twice as long, but don't seem to do much with the extra time, except waste it entertaining ourselves.
In the past, many people had shorter lives, often more focused on survival and hard work. Today, additional time can provide the opportunity to pursue hobbies, continuing education, travel, and enjoy experiences that were previously not possible or impossible.
However, it is also true that modernity brings with it distractions and entertainment that can seem like a waste of time. The key may lie in finding a balance between leisure and activities that enrich us personally and collectively. Longevity can be a blessing if used wisely, investing in personal growth, relationships and contributing to society in meaningful ways. Life is so volatile that if we do not literally live so many (perhaps forbidden) experiences, we will be regretting not having done so when the energies have dissipated…
The brain is a muscle. So it can be trained and will also require rest afterwards. I have noticed that I get a deeper sleep after a good exercise, so I can understand what you're saying. It's interesting that your brain is looking for more work instead of sleeping, which makes me think you trained it too hard before and is longing for the extra thinking.
I think it is the opposite! I wasted it during the day and it is looking for a way to be better utilized, even though bed time is the wrong time for it.
Just imagine if we used our thoughts at full effectivity. I wonder what is possible.
I think balance is important. I have heard the myth that humans only use 10 percent of the brain loads of times. The truth is we use most of it efficiently. I think if we fully concentrate all the time, we might overheat.
Sometimes we feels same like we want to sleep but couldn't. I think, when we are trying to do many things and lots of things remains undone, it gives us anxiety and due to this we can't sleep well.
The anxiety is one aspect of it. The brain doesn't like loose ends - and when we don't complete what we know we could, it is loose.
A lot of us usually not get to do anything after we get back from work because we are drained already and we just want to rest and sleep
It happens to me a lot but I gotta cook so that’s what keeps me active
Work drains us in some ways, but once we know our role in the workplace well enough, it doesn't usually drain us mentally.
What a wonderful scripter you are. Can use the poem personally?
What do you mean use it personally?
I mean can someone learn it or use it to teach
Soo cute. I also fall asleep when I'm tired