TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER...EMILIA

My mother was a native from Bauan, Batangas. She came from a strict family that follows old tradition. Maybe, my mother was the rebel from her family because despite the disapproval of her brother's and sister she still married my father.

However according to my mother their marriage did not last long because my father was a womanizer. She caught him dating other girls not only once but many times. So she decided to end her relationship with my father, they got separated. When they separated she insisted that the custody of her children be given to her. Because according to her my father cannot take care of us and besides she loves us and she will not permit anybody to take us away from her.

Moving forward, I remembered when I was four years old we used to live in Cebu because her business was inside Mactan Airbase. She had a tailoring shop that caters to the uniforms of American soldiers. Everyday my mom would take me with her in our tailoring shop and there I would busy myself playing the whole day which for me was just a natural thing. We were inseparable. It was also during that time that my mother's American friend James gave me a nickname of Jeannette. Maybe because it was hard for him to pronounce Juanita or he just wanted me to have an American name.

My mom also had a sideline besides our tailoring shop. She also did buy and sell. I remembered that we can go shopping on PX stores (store on military base that sells goods to military personnel and families also authorized civilians). During those days imported cigarettes are hard to buy that is why it was usually what my mother sells. Financially I think we were doing good.

During that time my brother was studying in Manila taking up Criminology. So sometimes we have to travel from Cebu to Manila by plane to visit my brother. Since I was not yet studying I was always with my mother where ever she goes. It was during one of our unannounced visit in my brother's dormitory that we found out that my brother has a girlfriend staying with him. It was also then that he informed my mother that they have been living together and he wanted to get married. My mother was devastated that time because my brother was only on his third year in college.

We went back to Cebu and after sometime my mother announced that we will be going back to Manila and live there. I don't have the exact reason why. We went back in Manila but it was not actually in Manila that we lived but in Angeles City in Pampanga. It was there that she continued her business of buy and sell. Buying goods from PX store then selling it outside.

Her business was doing well back then and during vacation time I would see relatives from my father's side stayng with us. After vacation, they will be given money by my mother when they have to return to their homes. I was still young at that time so I thought it was just natural that my mother still welcomes the relatives of my father even they have been separated.

To cut the story short my brother got married and was not able to finish his studies which I know was one of my mother's biggest disappointment. Added to that was my mother's business had a problem and it was stopped. We were forced to transfer from a big house with household helpers to a smaller house with just the basic necessities. Still it did not matter to me just as long as I'm with my mom. It was also during that time that I saw my mother's jewelries being sold to pay for our bills and for our expenses.

Then I noticed that my mother was always busy reading newspapers. I was unaware that she was already looking for a job using the classified adds. One day she told me that she got a job and that we will be transferring to Manila in Magallanes to be exact because that is where her employer lives. And the best part is her employer even agreed that I be taken in her work. I was so happy because I thought that we would be separated.

I still remembered that family, they were so kind. They have three kids that time, the oldest was a girl then two boys. They would always call me in my room so that I can play with their children and they even included me in their meals. Later on I was treated as one of their family. It was just sad that they have to go back to their country that is why my mother was again without a job.

It was also a time of separation for my mother and me because I now have to study . I was left with relatives because she has to work and she can no longer take me with her. She looked for another post as a cook again to a family and during her day off she would visit me and give money to my relative taking care of me for my expenses. It was also a treat day for me because she would take me to Quiapo where in we will eat halo-halo and then she would buy me toys. There were no malls yet. During those days that she had been working I did not hear any complaints from her if she was having a hard time in her work. Whenever she visits me she was always smiles and urging me to study hard and always promising me that we will again be together in the future.

The second big blow to my mother was when I got married when I was on my second year College. Her dream of seeing me graduate from my course collapsed just like what happened to my brother. I know it was her fervent dream to see me graduate but I failed her. She did not reprimand me even though I know that her heart was breaking. Instead what she did was got busy preparing for my wedding.

I realized how ungrateful daughter I am. Instead of appeasing her disappointment for what my brother did I repeated that mistake. Adding grief to her weary soul.

Years passed by and due to old age she can no longer apply for a job. So she lived with us, dividing her time living with my brother and me. Where ever she was needed she will be there. She is now only relying on her pension and support from her sister. But even that money will be spent on her grandchildren. According to her it was her happiness to buy things for her grandchildren.

What I admire most about my mother is her generosity to others. Whenever someone approaches her asking for help she would always be ready to give a helping hand. Even if it is the last money on her wallet she would still give it to the person asking for help without hesitation. I also loved her forgiving heart. No matter how much we had hurt her she still loved us unconditionally. As far as I can recall she did not spank me even once when I was growing up. Even when I got married I know she was crying on her own without showing it.

She was also brave in facing her adversities and problems. She does not dwell on her problems but always try to find solution in every obstacle that comes her way.

But most of all what I cannot understand is her ability to be friends to all the women that my father had. She was civil to all those women. When I was already matured enough to ask her how she can do that she told me that it was not easy at the beginning. Before she had been fighting them also but when they become separated she treated my father as a friend. That is why she is no longer affected by the women that he has been dating.

She is also an obedient sister because if she wanted to, she could have lived a different life in America. She was proposed by an American soldier who was an official that time to be his wife. Since her family was from an old fashioned one she was advised by her sister that even if she had been separated for a long time in the eyes of God and by law she is still married to my father. And she would be committing a sin if she will take another man. Her sister even promised her that she will be supported in her future needs by them if she will follow her advice. As I have stated before they still followed the tradition of following the advise of the elders and in her case her sister is the oldest one so she was considered the substitute to their parents. My mother was afraid to lose the grace and love of her sister and brothers so she heeded her advice.

My mother was a beauty back then that is why she received several proposals from men which were all declined. She just dedicated her life helping and loving us unconditionally. It was only now that I am a mother as well that I fully understood her.

I think I inherited her love for her children and grandchildren. She also taught me not be ashamed of working even if it is looked down as a menial job by others just as long as the work is noble and honest. Just like what she did working as a cook for a family. I also got her perseverance and the ability to forgive no matter how hard because forgiving is one way of freeing oneself from emotional burdens.

For me no one can surpass the hardships and sacrifices that my mom has done for us. She is a loving mother who will do everything just to support her children. She was a father and a mother to us. A doting grandmother who cares for all her grandchildren. She gave her strength and love for us up to her last breath without complaint.

My only regret was she was not able to see me working in a corporate office which was her dream and see her great grandchildren. But I know that being a loving mother she has been continually watching us from heaven. And more or less she is happy to see what I had become.

Thru Hive I am thankful to be given an opportunity to thank my mother and to tell her as well how much I loved her and I missed her tender loving care.

Greetings to all Hivers! I hope all of you are doing fine and in good health.

credits photo to Canva