Ahora la casa está vacía, ahora solamente trabajo y me dedico a culminar mis responsabilidades, salgo con mis amigos, pero sigue existiendo esa necesidad de darle un abrazo a mi mamá. No es un tema infantil, no es un argumento que me haga ser menos adulto, y tampoco inmaduro. Simplemente, es algo que un hijo quiere hacer.

_{Written listening to the music track: Waiting At 54th. Kilometers, words, messages and phrases are the great card of this long journey.}

I have a hard time writing about my mom, my niece and my siblings, it's just really hard. I am an adult, but I know very well the meaning of wanting to see those special people.

I have faced so many things, we have given everything and it gives me peace of mind that my mom could meet Isabella. She cried a lot when she was abroad when my niece was born, she could no longer return here to Venezuela and see her. The reality of being a migrant and being in our position today is complex. Regardless of whether you are a professional or not, or whether you have migratory stability. You are not in your homeland, with your people and with the people you appreciate. One thing is certain: everyone learns in a different way.

Of course, it is still difficult. This is a year of thoughts, of work and also of assimilation where each one of us has decided to go our own way. I have talked a lot with my mother and I have told her that we are not the children we were ten years ago. Something that I like a lot is that it seems that we are all brothers, we understand each other very well, we help each other and we also do things in a way that helps each other.

My mom has always told us that through thick and thin we should help each other. That's one of the things she instilled in us, that's why I can say that when Isabella was born we were able to agree to support each other as a family. Of course, I never expected that so many situations would come along and extend my plans. I am referring to the coronavirus and the crisis in my country.

Now the house is empty, now I only work and dedicate myself to finish my responsibilities, I go out with my friends, but there is still that need to give my mom a hug. It's not a childish thing, it's not an argument that makes me less adult, and it's not immature. It's simply something a child wants to do.

Aparte de eso, siento que es algo que me ayudará a encontrar una respuesta para seguir, seguir en mi rumbo de lo desconocido y de lo que siempre he soñado. A diferencia de muchos, no soy una persona arraigada a algo, es decir, puede que duela al inicio, pero si tomo una decisión sé que no cambiaré de opinión. Asumo las consecuencias, sean estas positivas o negativas. Es lo que mi mamá me enseñó. No debemos evitar las cosas, ni tampoco andar con rodeos en la vida.

Lo irónico, es cada una de las siguientes frases: Hijo, ya comiste?, acuéstate temprano, descansa, duerme tranquilo, no te sobre exijas, para por un momento de estudiar, sal y diviértete. Son los mensajes que suele decirme mi mamá, claro, a eso también debo añadirle el hecho de que se preocupa porque he dejado de hacer ejercicio. Cosa que es realmente extraña, pero lo estoy retomando.

En nuestras conversaciones hablamos de lo hábil que es Isabella, lo inteligente y perspicaz. Cuando llegó a donde ella está pude ver como mi mamá sentía tranquilidad en medio de la angustia. No existe nada que no se pueda enfrentar.

Esta semana es mi cumpleaños, haré varias cosas, pero créanme que me gustaría estar con ella. Lo demás realmente suele ser pasajero, ahora he comprendido que el valor de todo es lo que eres capaz de apreciar. “Todo va y viene”, esa también es una de las frases que mi mamá siempre me ha dicho.

Entre tantas anécdotas, lo verdadero es ese sentimiento que se mezcla conmigo y me hace mirar la sonrisa y también lo que está más allá de esto. Nada es perfecto, nada es fácil y terminamos asimilando cosas que te hacen ver el mundo desde otras perspectivas.

Aside from that, I feel it is something that will help me find an answer to go on, to continue on my course of the unknown and what I have always dreamed of. Unlike many, I am not a person rooted to something, that is, it may hurt at the beginning, but if I make a decision I know I will not change my mind. I take the consequences, whether they are positive or negative. That's what my mom taught me. We should not avoid things, nor should we beat around the bush in life.

The irony is each of the following phrases: Son, have you eaten, go to bed early, rest, sleep peacefully, don't overexert yourself, stop studying for a moment, go out and have fun. These are the messages that my mother usually tells me, of course, to that I must also add the fact that she worries because I have stopped exercising. Which is really strange, but I'm taking it up again.

In our conversations we talked about how skilled Isabella is, how intelligent and insightful. When she got to where she is, I could see how my mom felt calm in the midst of the anguish. There is nothing that can't be faced.

This week is my birthday, I will do several things, but believe me I would like to be with her. The rest really is usually fleeting, now I have understood that the value of everything is what you are able to appreciate. "Everything comes and goes", that's also one of the phrases my mom has always told me.

Among so many anecdotes, the real thing is that feeling that mixes with me and makes me look at the smile and also what is beyond this. Nothing is perfect, nothing is easy and we end up assimilating things that make you see the world from other perspectives.

Casualmente, pienso que es momento de romper la burbuja y hacer todo, ese todo que estaba guardado. No por un mero capricho, lo he hablado con mi madre y más por poder dejar seguir a Isabella. Han pasado pocos meses desde que no está acá, pero sé que realmente es una niña amada por nosotros.

Debo afirmar que nos ha unido, nos ha permitido ver las cosas de manera diferente y nos ha hecho reaccionar. ¿Puede la vida de un niño cambiar las cosas? Sí, porque ahora todos querrán protegerle. Claro, no es una responsabilidad compartida, ya que corresponde a mi hermana, pero cada uno ha ayudado a dar los pasos adecuados.

El fin de semana salieron y llevaron a la niña al parque, fueron a comer y compartir. Yo también hice lo mismo acá en Venezuela, pero se siente nostálgico.

Mi madre ya casi culmina su periodo de reposo, y ahora mi hermana es un gran apoyo. El mundo es realmente impredecible, no sabemos qué puede suceder y tampoco que nos pueda ocurrir. Lo que puedo en efecto afirmar es que ahora la tranquilidad ha llegado, también existe cierto vacío y todo se mezcla incluso con una sonrisa. La vida continúa y llegará el momento cuando tenga que llegar.

A veces surgen las dudas, la añoranza y se mezcla ese sentimiento en donde no puedes soportar la distancia. Vuelvo a recapacitar y trato de no pensar en el tema. Cuando Isabella se fue me pego mucho, era muy apegado a ella hasta el punto de complacerla en todo lo que podía. Es una niña encantadora.

Por esos meses estaba muy susceptible emocionalmente, era como pinchar un globo. La verdad es que en este instante estoy tranquilo, veo todo con mucha calma y comprendo que lo importante es que cada uno está dando lo mejor de sí mismo.

En ocasiones las realidades humanas pueden ser difíciles, pero no imposibles de asimilar.

Coincidentally, I think it's time to break the bubble and do everything, that everything that was in storage. Not on a mere whim, I have talked it over with my mother and more for the sake of letting Isabella follow. It's been a few months since she's not here, but I know that she really is a child loved by us.

I must say that it has united us, allowed us to see things differently and made us react. Can the life of a child change things? Yes, because now everyone will want to protect him. Of course, it is not a shared responsibility, since it is my sister's responsibility, but everyone has helped to take the right steps.

On the weekend they went out and took the little girl to the park, had lunch and shared. I did the same here in Venezuela, but it feels nostalgic.

My mother is almost finished her period of rest, and now my sister is a great support. The world is really unpredictable, we do not know what can happen and we do not know what can happen to us. What I can indeed say is that now the tranquility has arrived, there is also a certain emptiness and everything is mixed even with a smile. Life goes on and the time will come when it has to come.

Sometimes doubts arise, homesickness and that feeling where you can't stand the distance. I think again and try not to think about it. When Isabella left I was very attached to her to the point of pleasing her as much as I could. She is a lovely girl.

During those months I was very emotional, it was like pricking a balloon. The truth is that at this moment I am calm, I see everything very calmly and I understand that the important thing is that everyone is giving the best of themselves.

Sometimes human realities can be difficult, but not impossible to assimilate.

Todos los derechos de las fotografías fueron cedidos para esta publicación. | All rights to the photographs have been granted for this publication.

Traducción | Translation: DeepL logo Traductor.