These Barriers to Kindness...

in kindnesslast month

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Anyone who has been paying attention to the collaborative challenge that DreemPort and Kindness Community have been exploring since this month will surely admit that there has been so much to learn. I've learned a lot about kindness and I've also been very conscious about performing several acts of kindness and keeping a kindness Journal.

Since today is already the official last day of the challenge, I will be highlighting some things that I noticed as possible barriers to kindness. I'm limiting it to just three things and for each one, we will be taking a step further to understand what can be done to overcome that barrier.

The list goes on;

1. Taking People For Granted: This is mostly noticeable in the case of someone who sees himself or herself as someone inferior to another person because of wealth, age, status, experience, etc. They have the impression that others are beneath them and this subsequently plays out in the sort of treatment they give to those around them.

While there is an undeniable hierarchy that exists in society for whatever reason, I'm sure there are employers who still treat their employees with kindness. There are older folks who show kindness to younger people. So, regardless of how high you are ranked in social or financial status, you can still show kindness to people.

2. Having A Payback Mentality: For a lot of people, their reaction to being hurt by someone is to devise ways to hurt the person back. Some even go as far as transferring the aggression and pain to someone else who didn't have a hand in the pain he/she felt. That "I will hurt you back" approach poses as a barrier to acts of kindness.

Last week, I wrote this piece about Kindness and Forgiveness. The message in that post comes in handy for anyone who's struggling to show kindness due to pain and negative emotions inflicted by people.

3. The Fear Of Being Misunderstood: Just because a lot of people have so many uninspiring encounters with others, it has made them very unreceptive to acts of kindness. Over here in Nigeria, a lot of people have fallen victim to kidnapping because they were given a lift by vehicle owners. They saw it as an act of kindness, but it turned out to be something done with evil intent.

To be fair, I can't blame people who are no longer receptive to kind acts. It's hard to know who's genuinely doing it. Those who are capable of performing acts of kindness hold themselves back to avoid being misunderstood as someone with an evil intent. Well, this shouldn't put a stop to acts of kindness, right?

Kindness Journal

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My kindness Journal for this last week of the challenge is simple and straight to the point;

Friday: I patronized a neighbor who runs a mini bakery and placed an order for some chops which she was very happy about.

Saturday: I got in touch with a former colleague after a few years and we had a lot of kind words to say to each other.

Sunday: I went to watch Liverpool play an FA Cup semi-final game and decided to pay the viewing fee for an additional person.

Monday: I got in touch with my family and wired a few bucks which I believe my Mum used to restock a few food items at home.

Tuesday: My Lady who's trying to learn Spanish on Duolingo App is getting a lot of inspiring push from me.

Wednesday: The winner's announcement for the March edition of The Thinker's Corner Challenge was announced yesterday. Read that to see all the joy that was spread in the post.

Thursday: Since today's the last day of the challenge, I will be spending the last segment of this day on things that are geared towards showing kindness to myself.

Thanks For Not Missing Any Full-stop or Comma.
Thumbnail Image is taken from Unsplash
Additional Image is also taken from Unsplash.

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I am so glad that you joined the kindness collaboration, and that we were able to have this collaboration. I have also learned a great deal during the last three weeks. It has been truly an amazing collaboration, and I have enjoyed reading everybody’s posts. I have really enjoyed reading your kindness diary entries! I can’t believe that we have reached the last day already!
Taking People For Granted:
This is truly unfortunate, it happens though. People sometimes forget where they came from as the saying goes. We should never take anyone else for granted or see them as anything but an amazing child of God.

The payback mentality too is unfortunate, forgiveness is an amazingly freeing thing and can make the need for revenge dissipate, But sometimes people are unable to reach a place of forgiveness, even though it is something we do for ourselves, to not let the hurt continue to eat away.

The Fear Of Being Misunderstood:
I am so sorry that this is something that is a part of our reality, we never really know another person's notices or if there is malicious intent. It is alarming to learn about kidnappings and abductions from people accepting a ride from someone. I think we are in a different world today. I am so sorry this is a reality, it is so sickening to hear about. The reality is that we have to be aware and cautious of the actions of people we don’t know, although sometimes it is the people we know that can cause harm or abuse.

I love the kindness diary, I don’t follow much sports, but as a kid at school I used to support Manchester United. I have a cousin who is a crazy Man City supporter and he will not even acknowledge Manchester United as a team. He lives in Manchester and says that United is based in Salford, and that people think that Salford is a suburb of Manchester,

Salford is its own city and not part of Manchester, so he says they should be called Salford United! Thanks again for a great post and I apologize it is taking time to reply.

Thanks so much for hosting us in this kindness challenge. It's been an interesting experience for me and being part of this made this month very fulfilling for me. I'm genuinely excited about the things I was able to learn and the acts of kindness I got involved with.

I'm always excited to see your comment to posts because you give it your all and your share your thoughts in a very interesting way. It feels like our world is truly changing in many ways. There are so many things that hinders people from performing or being receptive to acts of kindness.

Nonetheless, we will always do our best to show kindness and also to appreciate any act of kindness we receive.

Thanks for that really informative gist about the two Manchester Clubs. Haha. Since I've spent all my life so far in Nigeria, the things I know about English football is limited in many ways. Haha. God Bless You so much

I’m not a big sports follower these days. I was born and lived in England until I was 29. I came over to the US to visit and never went home, some 27 years ago now! I’m giving my age away now lol!

I am trying to catch up with responding to everybody's posts, but I am very behind. I want to read everything thoroughly and not just give a generic response, so I will do this tomorrow after my surgery since it's late here now. I wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about your post. I will be copying this brief message to the other blog posts I still need to read properly. I hope you understand.

Ohhh Greg, thanks so much for your comment. I already know how much effort it takes to commit to reading all entries to the challenge and also interacting with those.

Did I just read that you have a surgery coming up? I hope it works out successfully. Regain your full health afterwards and get back to us.

God Bless You

It was an emergency dental extraction and I had general anesthetic. I’m not quite as sedated as I was, but in some pain and still bleeding. I want to try and reply today, I did manage one reply to someone, but I’m quite tired . Ty for the well wishes.

Thanks so much for your Curation

😊🙏🏼

The payback mentality.
When I was kid, I had a very small nail cutter key holder I used in cutting my nails. One day mistakenly cut myself with the nail cutter, I was so upset and dismantled the key holder. My dad looked at me and said hope you feel better now? This question got me thinking.

Sincerely, I still feel the pain despite taking revenge on the nail cutter. I believe people just need to Remember that taking revenge on others does not necessarily reduce the pain they are feeling.

Pop in from #dreemport
#Dreemerforlife

That story you shared about your nail cutter makes a lot of sense. When we transfer aggression or do things that will make people go through the same pain we felt, that doesn't necessarily serve as solution to whatever we passed through.

For one to continue with acts of kindness in the face of some bad paybacks, one need to see the reason for doing the act beyond the recipient. A man once gave some guys a lift in his car and the car was hijacked and stolen from him along the way by these same guys that he offered to help. That kind of person may stop helping other people in this regard in the future.

It takes a total personal resolution to be kind in today's world. However, kindness is awesome.

#dreemerforlife

That's true. This is why experience usually shapes the way we act and the decisions we make.

Many people have been hurt because they wanted to act kindly towards another person. This makes it hard for some people to do kind deeds towards others