There are days I ask myself, "What IS IT with humanity, that we feel bad for the poor person who succumbs to some misfortune, but ENJOY it & almost CELEBRATE IT when a rich person experiences hardship?"
This last week I had the opportunity to observe - and learn - some more about this strange quirk of human behaviour. Not once, but THREE times. And when the universe nudges me with ANYTHING three times, I sit back and listen. It's a pact I've made with myself.
The first issue was all over the Thai news. We had massive flooding here in the north of Thailand as the tail of Super Typhoon Noru collided with the annual western monsoon rains. The media was all over community hardship, helping each other, good vibe and good news stories a plenty.
Until this one.
Some born-with-a-silver-spoon local cafe owner who drives a flashy bright yellow Lamborghini got caught in deep water near my house, and LOST a piece of his pride and joy. It caused DAYS of shares and memes as people ENJOYED his misfortune. I saw one poster challenge his right to claim he was a victim of the floods. Apparently only poor people are allowed to be the 'victims' of natural disasters.
The second issue was also flood and car related, but much more personal. My older and very much less glamorous truck had overheating issues - driving through the flood water on that same stretch of highway as the Lambo apparently dislodged the cooling fan, which caused radiator overheating challenges and necessitated a night at the garage.
I walked home from the garage through my very local & gossipy small Thai village, in the rain. An old lady I know well called out to me, asking what the problem was, and I yelled back to say my truck was being fixed. Well, she and her older Thai grandma friend started to laugh with delight, and apparently view ME in much the same way as the internet viewed Mr Yellow Lambo. It would appear wealth is an utterly subjective idea. The GLEE in these women's voices was actually painful to hear - they were ENJOYING my wet and bedraggled self being brought low.
It didn't feel nice.
It made me do a whole lot of PONDERING about envy. And how gloating over another's misfortune is really just a manifestation of deep-seated and possibly repressed envy. Or maybe not-so repressed.
Which led me back to a wonderful truth from Abraham-Hicks...
It CLICKED with me that when we gloat about others (richer others) losing things, being heavily taxed, and enduring hardship, we're CLICKING with the vibration of lack. And that we can NEVER be in full abundance ourselves while we deny it to others.
The very same afternoon that reality CLICKED for me, I had my 3rd demonstration.
A friend who owns a boutique gelati brand here in Thailand was THRILLED to post about the misfortune of Haagen-Dazs here in Thailand, who had to destroy a huge amount of product due to an imported ingredient contamination problem.
Haagen Dazs Icecream Worth thb 12 million Destroyed
This guy was doing a virtual happy-dance all over facebook that a major and well known global competitor had taken a BIG financial hit. He used it to slam an opponent in a negative way, and as a stepping stone to blow his own trumpet.
My first reaction? 1. Go and buy a Haagen Dazs out of solidarity and 2. probably don't buy from the gloater. At the very least, no longer recommend the gloater. Cos it's simply not an energy I choose to align with.
My Take Home (and not the ice-cream kind)? Be AWARE of it when the misfortune of others ignites a spark in me, and USE that awareness of my own fears to pivot my thinking and focus on what I DO want and CHOOSE for myself. Not on what happened to others.
If there's one common thread - one theme - that runs through my whole self-improvement journey, it's awareness. Of what I think, what I choose, what I share and what I align with.
My self-improvement challenge is to learn to consistently delight in the success of others and to know that the only block for those things coming to me lies within myself.
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I've felt that bad vibe of others enjoying my misfortune and it never sits well with me. Just recently it happened and it really got to me, but instead of lowering myself to their level, I rose above it, was polite, courteous and I chose to show true positivity of spirit in their own success and what they were doing. I don't think they notice it because people these days are so entitled that they almost expect everyone to simply lavish on the praise when they do something but nobody is allowed to say anything when they do something below the belt.
I've caught myself reveling in another's failure before and I notice now that it certainly wasn't seated in envy, it was seating in a vibration of hatred due to previous issues I had with the person. It's always a double edged sword and what you put out into the world will undoubtedly come back your way.
That's a really interesting perspective and yeah, I GET IT that when you have an issue personally with someone, it's easy to feel less than empathetic when something "bad" happens to them.
You're so right about the double edged sword!!
Appreciating your thoughtful comment.
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I'm sorry those things happened. I may have glaoted a lot, I laugh at fails in YouTube videos but also feel sorry for them not that kind of feeling victorious.
Fails in youtube are so often staged... I think it is different when it's perceived entertainment and not real life in-your-face hardship.
Thanks for stopping by to contribute.
oh no, those are real hardships in men. Like those caught on CCTVs and filed in one video
The situation you experienced reminded me a lot of the beginning of this presentation by Douglas Kruger:
There are some disgusting people who don't want to win but certainly want others to fail. Eric Hoffer talked about tese kind of people in detail. Here is a collection of quotes. I think you will resonate with them. I wore about him in detail 4 years ago: https://ecency.com/philosophy/@vimukthi/eric-hoffer-the-greatest-american-philosopher-of-20th-century-that-nobody-talks-about-quoting-the-wisdom-of-the-true-believer
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!CTP
Really appreciate you contributing some more things to ponder, read and watch around this theme! Thank you!!
You are welcome!
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Oh Marike, this is a subject near and dear to my heart. In a negative way.
caveat; I am human and I have most of the same foibles that everyone else has.
Or is it a learned behavior, we laugh because our families laughed at such when we were growing up?
There is an American TV show "America's Funniest Videos"
Here, the average viewer is encouraged to film funny events in their lives and send them to the show for the chance of winning some prize money.
MANY of them are pretty funny, in a HUMOROUS way, but there are many if not most involve people falling on ice on their front steps or driveway, people forgetting their cars are in gear and having it roll away and crash when they get out, men getting hit in the groin by balls or other objects hit or thrown by children or pet.
When someone falls from a height of slips on ice, you KNOW there is going to be REAL pain and possibly REAL INJURY.
So why is this funny? It isn't. Not at all. Yet I too have a tendency to laugh, I guess because the video stops and the consequences are not revealed.
Would that make any difference? Probably not for the fat, money grubbing American public.
Thank you for this post, I hope it reaches the corners of the globe and we can all look inside to make POSITIVE growth changes
↑Upvoted↑and←Reblogged→
I think you nailed it when you observed that the consequences aren't shown and we KNOW at some level that much of it is staged.
Humor is cultural too. I don't find much US humor really funny, but I DO often find the dried British comedy makes me laugh. It's drier and more about language and misunderstandings...
I think all growth starts with looking inside, whatever it is. Thanks so much for the reblog, the detailed response and the Hive love.
😍😘
Some years ago, before FB got hold of me, my relatives had an email string and would pass around video clips that they got from I know not where.
There was one about a bicycle thief, real video recorded. Seems bikes were being stolen routinely from this one area, so these fellows sabotaged a bicycle and left it there.
I don't remember exactly, but I think it had to do with the handlebars not being attached, and at the first bump they came loose from the frame.
The thief would pitch forward, and could have easily been impaled on the steering post, and at the very least since it had a cross bar (from seat to the handlebars, unlike a girls bike from back in the day) the thief also got a couple of small round objects forced up from his groin to his throat, if you get my meaning.
What goes around comes around, and a thief is a thief, but call the damned cops, you got him on video, why risk his life and health over a bicycle?
Ouch. Now see I would NOT find that funny, even if it was a thief being impaled. But I'm not american. ;)
This is very true about human nature. Its like a dark shadow cast on one another.
That's a really good way of putting it - the dark shadow we try to cast over another eventually puts us in its own shade too.
I actually pride myself in trying to make people laugh
I like that - as long as it's about truly funny stuff and not based on put downs or enjoying the nasties others struggle with... it's a fine line, that one.
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Oh gosh, it must have felt shit to have someone laughing at you in that situation! I was talking about envy the other day - the people that have their million buck houses with million dollar views and how much I struggle with feeling annoyed at the priveledge and I know it's family money and how those who have money just end up better off. I'm totally aware of how I feel. So it was pleasing when someone said 'don't worry, with global warming, those houses will fall into the sea' and I instantly went - NO! that would be AWFUL for them! I'd never laugh at the misfortunes of others, no matter how rich or poor. I kinda felt a little proud at that instant empathy reaction - I know it's meant to be another sin, pride, but hey. Only human!
Hope your car has a compassionate mechanic!
Great post.
I like your post. I truly believe what you said. Today however I feel that, if someone did laugh at my misfortune, I'll know at least someone noticed.
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