There's No Comparison to Being Yourself

It’s me again! Eletrovert(not E-le-trovert but L-trovert). I’m not just your blogger but also your bestfriend. “We are not weird, we just have our own unique qualities that makes us special”

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My Childhood Picture(as you can see, I was a bit chubby when I was young.)

When I was young, a constant question swirled around in my head: what would I become when I finally grew up? As I watched the kids around me all pick their own directions in life, like choosing which way to walk on a giant map, a big feeling bloomed inside me… I wanted to choose my own path too, one that haven’t picked by anyone else.

As I mentioned in my introduction before, I find myself feeling most at ease when I can curl up with quiet activities. Whether it’s letting my imagination flow freely through drawings on paper and pencil, or getting completely absorbed in a captivating book, these simple things bring me a sense of peace and enjoyment.

(In the past, I only talked to my family and I didn't have one friend.)

My childhood was marked by a crippling shyness that manifested in a desperate urge to flee whenever someone approached me. The very act of conversation felt insurmountable, leaving me speechless and unable to meet anyone’s gaze for even a fleeting moment. Consequently, making friends at school proved an impossible feat.

I tend to be on the introverted side, which means big crowds with lots of noise and activity can leave me feeling drained. I find myself wanting to go home or needing some quiet time to recharge after being around a lot of people, even if it’s just for a little while.

(The picture was my Tita's engagement party in the past)

The only people I feel truly close to are the ones I share my family tree with, my family and relatives. It takes a while for me to warm up to someone new and really trust them. I guess you could say I’m a bit on the shy side, and I don’t exactly jump into big conversations with everyone I meet.

Seeing how easily other people connect with everyone they meet always made me feel a little envious. Their outgoing personalities and natural ability to chat with anyone seem like magic tricks to me, and sometimes I wish I could have those same skills and be just as comfortable talking to a new people too.

Extroverted people seem to have it all figured out when it comes to presentations, group activities, or even just hanging out in a big crowd. They don’t seem to sweat the small stuff, like how to approach people they don’t know well, or what to do if they stumble a bit while giving a school report. Making a mistake in front of the class barely seems to faze them at all! It’s like they get a boost of energy from being around other people, which is the complete opposite of how I feel in those situations.

Sometimes I can’t help but notice how much easier things seem for extroverts. They have this natural confidence in social situations, and all the things that make me nervous – like presentations, big crowds, or even just starting a conversation – seem to come naturally to them. I can feel a bit discouraging when you see all those advantages they have and realize how different we actually are.

Sometimes when I make a mistake, I just clam up. It feels pointless to try and explain myself because I’m worried that no one will understand the situation, especially the nitty-gritty details that might be important to me. It’s like they’re looking at a whole different picture than I am, and it makes it really hard to speak up for myself.

When lockdown started because of Covid-19, it felt like everything got put on hold. It brought back memories of being in elementary school, a time when I was already pretty shy. Missing out on my grade 6 graduation because of the lockdown just added to that feeling of things being out of my control. Then, once again. A voice Inside me keeps whispering the same questions. What’s the point of staying exactly the same? How can I get better if I’m too scared to mess up and learn from it? Why am I so content to just stay stuck in this safe little bubble I’ve created for myself?

As I look back at all the years when I was too shy to reach out, a nagging question keeps popping into my head… Would I have had the chance to chase after something I really wanted to do if I had been braver? It makes me wonder how many cool experiences I might have missed out on.

As I sat there quietly answering questions in my module, a strange feeling washed over me. A feeling of missing something. My mind drifted back to the chaos of being in a crowded classroom, the loud chatter of classmates buzzing with energy. I could almost hear the excited chants erupting whenever a playful fight broke out between them. It felt almost surreal to be surrounded by such contrasting emotions. The peaceful solitude of working alone balanced against the vibrant energy of a bustling crowd. There was a strange comfort in that memory, a sense of something both familiar and exciting that I was missing in the quiet.

A powerful thought suddenly struck me… What if I need to change for the better? Not to please anyone else, but for myself. Maybe it’s not too late to grab hold of some of those missed opportunities. I can start by stepping outside my comfort zone a little at a time, and who knows, I might even discover some hidden strengths and open doors to exciting new experiences along the way.

When things started opening back up after the pandemic, I knew it was time to take action on that thought about changing for myself. Of course, I couldn’t just jump right in head first – I had to take it slow and break things down into smaller steps. But even those little steps felt like a big win. It made me proud to see myself putting myself out there a little bit more, and it gave me a newfound sense of confidence that I could keep building on.

Sure, my love for quiet time and being alone haven’t disappeared completely – that’s still a big part of who I am. But the cool thing is, I’m starting to feel more comfortable being around friends too. It’s like I’m finding a balance between my introverted quirks and enjoying the company of others, which feels like a really positive step forward.

Instead of thinking about introverts and extroverts as opposites, it’s more helpful to see them as points on a spectrum. We all have a natural tendency to lean towards one side or the other, but there’s a whole range in between, and some people even fall right in the middle! The important thing is to embrace your own unique energy levels and social preferences, because there’s no single “right” way to be. We are just definitely unique being ourselves.

Perhaps you have another quote to share or want to explore ideas for making new friends? As your best friend (and blogger!), I’m always happy to listen and offer support.

What are some ways you’re thinking about embracing your unique personality lately?