I think many people have gone through this in their lifetime, there was even a proverb that state: the first money a child sees is used to eat bean cake [which means the first money one earns is wasted on irrelevant things] in your case it was not your first money but it was the first huge money you ever received and without experienced people to mentor you, you spent it the way you like not thinking of the future of if it is going to finish.. I really won't blame you, many have been there, lesson well learnt, you have gotten such money before and you will definitely get it again that is if you havent already gotten it and i know you you are 100 percent knowledgeable if you ever receive such huge amount again, we learn best from experience but sometimes we pay huge price for such lessons!