Trading BTC & the Holy Cow

I am far from a good trader. Especially far from the trader I know I can be. I also have a novel paradoxical insight into trading, especially lately. I know now what I need to become a world-class trader, but I just can't for the life of me make myself grow into it! It is quite maddening and deeply fascinating at the same time. Like watching a chicken hatch and trying to not want to help it.

And so naturally, being the truther hippie that I somehow am, I need to hack it. Need to find a way to make it work and be proud of myself. Cause let's face it: We are trading because we feel we can "get it". If it were just gambling we could go to a betting shop or the casino. This is somehow meaning more than gambling! A lot more!

Just like Mark Douglas said, there is infinite creativity and self-expression in how you trade. And finding my own way in life has always been my most cherished holy cow, one that I am still looking for good evidence against, so I can slaughter it on the spot.

Nope, she moohs and I see her merit! Especially the BitCow!

I have thought and reflected on this for so long... It doesn't matter AT ALL if I will ever become profitable. Trading has long ceased to be about making money for me. Instead it is an endlessly fascinating puzzle, and the truther part in me wants to - needs to - find the catch, wants to see the pattern behind the chaos, wants to be able to flow with it like leaf on a river. Effortless and in unshaking faith in myself and my capabilities!

I have come such a long way ever since I started like 7 years ago and hear hear, I am not broke yet! Defying the statistics dude! High five!

But as I have written after my return to Hive, I am not exactly banking profits either. My trading account value has slowly been dwindling down ever since my last rookie mistake about a year ago (selling short pre 30k like a stupid beginner and no stop, on purpose! "great idea dude" note to self: never ever put on a trade without a stop loss, I don't care the reasoning). But despite that I feel I am closer than ever. Well I have said that many times before. BUT THIS TIME IT'S TRUE (have also said that before ahahaha)

Truth is I have no idea how long it will take until I feel confident in my trading behavior.

And well, so much for the resolution to quit trading I guess. I somehow can't quit ahahahaha. Not until I have figured this out more, or rather: Until I have grown enough to reach my hand up on the golden table and get that goodie! Not for the goodie's sake but for the mere fact that I can proudly claim I have conquered my fears in trading, have found an edge that works for me and have seen so many situations in the market that I am seasoned enough... TO TRUST MYSELF. IN EVERY MARKET SITUATION. And not merely in my mind's logic but in being present.

I have seen and known enticement, and resisted. I have seen the best and most logical trading entries fail on the spot instantly, and I have seen the most obvious stupid entries become the low of an entire bull cycle.

This is really what it comes down to. If you are trading you have to trust yourself, and if you don't REALLY, the market will spook you so bad you will feel like an idiot after a trade that went south on you. Because when the fear subsides and you factually lost, you can see clearly again. And you will curse yourself.

I can't believe I am talking about trading again. Will this dude who doesn't make money from trading ever stop talking about trading? I hear you, but chances are growing slimmer by the day since: here we are again. And nope, I oddly feel this is something I want to share. Maybe for all you traders out there still looking for a more congruent actuality of the mere potential you can see in yourself in theory.

Back to what I found recently: In having all this extra time waiting for my future homebase to materialize I am frankly bored. And so, I can stare at charts again, even if it is helped by my alarm strategy that will not have me glued to the screen all day.

I am starting to formulate my findings, and I feel they have matured quite immensely. Not sure how to best share them on Hive yet or if. It is a challenge that is somehow internal, spiritual even. And it is all about presence. If you live in the mind you will get screwed over by the market. You have to be HERE, NOW. Which is so funny, finding that trading is - at the end of the day - one of the most spiritual undertakings of self-discovery I have ever undertaken.

It's just that I still feel new lessons and insights coming, despite (and maybe because of) me finally letting go that last time. I quit. Like for real. Which gave me a whole new luxury in approach to the markets when out of sheer boredom I turned on the charts again a few days ago.

I know what I am after, I know what I have to do. What was once a mystery of "what is going on in this chart" has turned into "I know what is going on but FEAR FEAR FEAR!". A definitive advance in my book! Now onto the next leg of self-mastery! Trust the moment and yourself. No way around it dude!!

I am not a financial advisor and this is not financial advice

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