Whales, Money, Freedom and Rebuilding

Hey Everyone,

It's been a couple of busy weeks and I have a bit of downtime this week to make some decisions and determine what's next in my life.

Last week I spent a week with a long time friend in Maui, HI, she figured I needed some sun and relaxation after caring for and losing Joe. At the time I agreed to go I wasn't even sure if I was going to feel up for it.

Female Humpback Spyhopping - Whales may spyhop, a behaviour where the whale will swim to the surface vertically and raise their head out of the water to allow them to see (or "spy") on the surroundings.

I didn't realize it when we booked the trip that February is an ideal time to experience whale watching in Maui. I love the ocean and anything to do with boats, so when my friend suggested Whale Watching, I was totally on-board, pun intended.

same female "spyhopping" our partner's boat

Whale breeding season is a fantastic opportunity to observe whales in their natural habitat. As Mother Humpback whales nurse their calves and travel with their families, these water dwelling mammals can be seen jumping and breaching in the waters around Maui. It was an unforgettable experience as a mother whale and her calf spent a half hour directly interacting with us by choice, as the boats are strictly regulated against following or harassing the whales.

calf swimming near the boat

whale swimming under the boat

The Captain of our boat, a 35 foot raft, was not concerned about this 45 foot gentle creature swimming under and around our boat, so we just relaxed and enjoyed it. The sites and scenes were amazing and it was an experience I will not soon forget.

As the week ended and I was boarding the long flight home I had a lot of time to consider what is next and I had a 3rd interview for a job lined up on Friday. (the day after I came home)

It's a job I can easily do, but it's a serious job, in the office, managing people and reporting to higher ups. The position is in my state, but not near my kids or my sister, or really any family. It will be the first time I have lived alone since 1990. To be brutally honest, I'm still a bit emotional and it all sounds a bit hard and over-whelming.

Same whale on her side circling our boat

At this point I have been offered the job, but haven't yet accepted. The thing is I'd love to find some "easy money", but wouldn't we all. Joe and I had a fiscal arrangement where he handled the "fiat money" and I focused on crypto and a couple other projects for "fun money". The fact is I have 2 choices use my crypto during the bear season or go back to work for a while.

A strange thing about losing your spouse after 30 plus years is that you have a certain Freedom to revamp your life goals, plans etc. and there is no one to complain, or even ask... but it also reminds me of a line from Janice Joplin's "BOBBY MCGEE, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose".

The short story is I have about a week to decide whether to take this job, and in a fit of panic I find myself reaching out to other colleagues and former co-workers for closer options, or work I can do from a distance.

There are a lot of logistics I need to figure out on the path forward, and it feels rough to do it from a position of not being at my best due to (I hate the word grief) being a bit of an emotional mess these days.

Whale blow

Today, I'm in North Idaho visiting one of our daughters, on a bright sunny day, stressing about my choices, but at least I have choices, freedom, whale memories and there are a few moments when I can actually feel excited about the future.

All photos are snap shots from my cell phone.

@whatsup

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