The transformations that take place in life make us change if we want to. Life teaches if we want to learn and that implies changes in the way we are.
I remember those years as if they were far away, in fact, they are, years of adolescence and youth, I remember them as if I were another person or from another life. I felt that there was a me that could not come out and that many circumstances made the real me stay silent and hidden.
I was very shy, withdrawn, reserved, so much so that I hardly spoke... lonely and feeling alone. One thing is not the same as the other, I had friends, or apparent friends, and also family, few but they were there and yet... something was missing.
I was the centre of bullying at school, an excellent student, disciplined and constant, it seems that others didn't like that. That's why I preferred to keep quiet despite many things. Reserved, I didn't talk about myself or my things, ever. I was shy when it came to expressing myself, I was better at writing.
Insecurity invaded me, I thought I was always under watchful eyes, I didn't know if I was doing things right, if the steps I was taking were correct. My mistake was not believing in myself. I don't think I didn't know how to do it... I didn't know for a long time, I had no guidance or I didn't know where to find it.
But that in turn somehow made me strong because I kept moving forward, maybe my inner self was searching for something else, I think I was searching without consciously realising it. Life hit me many times, in many ways, with many tears, many pains, but I think it was always the strength of my inner self that helped me and to be able to be free and for the truth to manifest itself was what pushed me to change, that together with the things that life put in my way, very hard things.
Everything in the past benefited my adult life, certain events that happened when I was 24 years old made me learn to trust myself in an incredible way, even though they were painful. I could see and see more than what people usually see, in a literal sense, see ahead... it gave me a security that I can't describe in words. The real me was coming out and that gave me the greatest strength in the world.
There were no more insecurities, no more loneliness, but I did keep silent, but for another purpose, to get better. Talking is not always beneficial. I became a person who knows who she is, strong and confident in who she is and what she can do. A weirdo who doesn't mind saying he is a weirdo, a black sheep who goes against the tide of many things, especially the bad things.
I'm still reserved, because I believe that one's private life is one's own and I'm not interested in people knowing about my life, in fact, I don't need anyone's approval but my own. I don't care if people think I'm stupid because I don't have social media. My privacy and intimacy are mine and mine alone. I am not that outgoing, unless I am in confidence with other people, but rather shy or more than shy reserved and cautious, I think that's the word.
Learning gave me self-confidence, I always say that: The person I trust the most in this world, is me. Because I love myself, I take care of myself and take care of what is mine, that's why I'm reserved. It's a weird mix maybe, but it goes with me.
Thank you very much @galenkp for bringing these always excellent weekend topics and I want to congratulate this beautiful community that opened its doors to me more than two years ago, because it will be celebrating six years of life, congratulations!
Thank you all for reading me today, I wish you a great weekend. See you soon.
Amonet.
Used translator Deepl.com free version.
Good morning, dear friend @avdesing
What you say is very true. Life is constantly teaching us; it's up to us to assimilate and learn.
I love the final paragraph, where you assure us that you trust only yourself, and that the love you feel makes you take care of yourself.
Excellent post. Have a wonderful weekend.
I learned that on my own, discovering myself and my connection to the whole has helped me. Thank you very much!
We have a lot in common, but I haven't learned as much as you have.
Best regards!
All in good time, you are on the way. It will come when it must come. Hug!
Hello Amonet, good morning.
I'm so sorry about everything you had to go through as a child. Bullying at school is terrible. It happens here too, but we put the boys in their place, the ones who make fun of us.
I have the support of my grandparents and my parents. They constantly support me and give me confidence so I can have self-confidence.
It makes me very happy to know that these past experiences have helped me become very strong.
Have a beautiful day.
You are very lucky to have that support, you are important and valuable, never forget that! Thank you very much!
One trusting in her/himself, and preserving self-confidence despite the life circumstances that can be friendly or not, is a great treasure! Of course, it can't just be found easily, it is a work behind getting there. ;) 🍀
It's been a long road, but that confidence has helped me since I found it. Thank you very much!🤗
Hi @avdesing, I told you once and I'll say it again, there are ways to learn that should not exist. That said, I'm glad to see the woman you became.
Big hugs to you.
Every soul chooses a way to learn before coming... I'm telling you, this was mine... I'm not even a shadow of my former self anymore... I am now my best version! Thank you!!!
Did you see me? Oh! 🫣 🤣
There is no hurry, it will be a pleasure to receive you at any time.
Ya ya voy jajaja tengo como 20 pestañas abiertas!!!
🤣
Es una sábado que parece lunes jajaja
🤣
I love how you turned all that pain into strength and found your voice in your own way. It's amazing how much growth can come from the hardest moments. You're a true reminder that being yourself -quietly or boldly- is more than enough
Thank you so so much!!🤗
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Thank you so much @hivebuzz 😃
Well-deserved @avdesing! Your commitment to daily blogging is a shining example of what it means to be a dedicated Hive user.
Thank you so much!🤗
They say the more we read about a person, the better we get to know them. Is that true? Being on Hive makes me feel that way—I believe I'm meeting people who, even though they're not in front of me, I know inside out. The sincere way you express and reveal aspects of your life doesn't make you vulnerable, at least not here...on the contrary, it gives me a perfect idea of how strong you are.
🌹🌹🌹A big hug to you.🌹🌹🌹
The moment or the stage in which I became strong was not easy, but it gave me incredible self-confidence. Thank you very much! It's true everything you say. Hugs!
🤗🌹🦋🌺
😘😘
I liked that you yourself are the person you trust the most 😉
Without knowing you, I think you're great, I feel it and I'm sure that's how it is. I was very pleased to read this testimony, in many things I felt identified and I am glad you have learned so much and no longer feel imprisoned by yourself, although I did not read that exactly but I sense that maybe you felt that way at some times.
I think it is good to be cautious and reserved, I am too in my own way. 🙂
Yes, I felt like I was in a prison, well said, but not any more and that's great. Thank you very much!🤗
Congratulations @avdesing! You received a personal badge!
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Thank you so much @hivebuzz 🤗
You're most welcome, @avdesing! Hive Power Up Day wouldn't be the same without your enthusiasm.
🤗😃