Don't miss the opportunity to hold them in your arms

Greetings to this beautiful weekend Community.

I don't know if the anecdote I'm about to share with you is the worst advice I've ever been given, but as soon as I read this week's post this memory jumped immediately to my mind, so I take advantage of @galenkp's proposal to share it.

When you're pregnant there's never a shortage of advice on things you should or shouldn't do, from how to walk or dress to the food you should follow and endless advice in all areas.

Then, when you have your baby by your side, there is another endless amount of advice that comes from everywhere, what to feed him or not to feed him, how to bathe him, breastfeeding, games, stimulation and a long etcetera. With my second child, I thought I wouldn't have so many people giving their opinions, but I still didn't get rid of people giving me maternity advice.

The one that surprised me the most and I consider today the "worst advice" for the purposes of this post, was that I should not carry the baby in my arms but put a pillow between him and my arms, so there would be no direct skin-to-skin contact and he would not get used to being in my arms.

Since I had my first child I follow the principles of respectful parenting and conscious motherhood, among these principles creating and maintaining direct contact with the baby is fundamental for his healthy development. Having skin-to-skin contact during crying spells is one of the best ways to calm them and give them that context of security and protection they need.

I understand that the lady who gave me this advice may have wanted to spare me from the baby getting so attached that I would have to hold him in my arms at all times and maybe even from a possible backache... but, when babies are so small and helpless, what other scenario could there be but that?

The contact, the caress and support of a mother to his child not only in the first months, but throughout a child's life, especially the first years, is vital for their self-esteem, the development of a secure and affectionate personality and also to generate a safe context where they feel accompanied and protected.

I think that the advice I received was from those times of yesteryear where affectivity was underestimated, as well as that advice not to have them in my arms so that they would not get "bad used" to being in them, I received many others in that sense like: not to have them in my bed or let them cry when they stood up at night so they would be exhausted and fall asleep again and others that do not come to my mind at the moment, but that I really think are terrible advice... finally it is about your children and not some dolls or robots that you can treat in such a detached and indifferent way.

Now we live in other times in which we need to rescue that affection, care and loving presence in a healthy mother-child bond, so that advice did not resonate with me at all.

Never miss the opportunity to hug your loved ones, no matter their size or age.

Thank you for following me here, I send you a hug full of good vibes.                      See you next weekend.