The importance of family

This weekend was supposed to be like most others. Quite routine. But then mum had a fall. And now I am in hospital with my laptop. Feeling very human.

My mother is a very sprightly 88 year old. She is the last parent between my wife and I. The others passed some years ago. It was only a couple of weeks ago that our clan gathered (my sisters, my children and girlfriends, spouses and their children) at a restaurant on the south coast. It was quite an occasion.

So this weekend was supposed to be rather routine. Cleaning the house, unpacking some Christmas decorations from the attic, getting ready for #2 son to move back in with us (!!!!). Then my eldest sister called.

"Mum has had a fall". I am just outside her house with the ambulance. We don't know what happened. If you have ever read Atul Gawande Being Mortal - the "fall" is the call we all dread. As the single largest lead indicator of impending mortality.

We are so lucky to have family and friends. Is there any more to wish for? For family and friends are what matter most when needs mean we have to rely on others good will to just "get by". Life would not be possible without our social ties.

My two sisters who live close to mum sprang into action. There was a bloody nose, head injury and shoulder pain. Most worryingly, she did not know what had happened. What was happening or what was going to happen.

So the ambulance left and her three children were left rather worried. Sister #2 was hot on the chase of the ambulance on its way to A&E in Ashford.

I know many of you live outside the UK and do not benefit from our amazing NHS. Everyone knows though that health systems throughout the world have been acutely stressed by the pandemic and now by winter flu and cold stresses.

Our immediate family have luckily avoided the plague or having covid-related admissions. My bro-inlaw had cancer but thankfully is in remission and has escaped Covid.

Now we were in the middle of the Saturday Night club at the local hospital Accident and Emergency department.

OMG. Experiencing the NHS woes first hand is memorable in all the wrong ways. People waiting 48 hours for hospital beds. Patients in beds in the corridors due to wards overflowing. People drifting into A&E on GP referrals who should never have been there. And then there was my 88 year old mother.

She did get seen by experts. However, for a whole day she had to return to the "waiting room" chair in between CT scan, x-rays and emergency assessments. Different clinicians informed my sister she had a fractured scull, internal brain bleeding, a fractured shoulder. Oh dear.

Still she could not lie down. My sister's pleading with staff while crying: "please, my 88 year old mother just needs to lie down". This did not yield a result. What could they do?

Finally they did find a "corridor bed" and late last night a bed came free on what they call the A&E ward, which is a wonderful facility. My sister and husband managed to stay the night with mum (sleeping on the floor) and her prognosis seems to have steadily improved.

I got in my car this morning to travel from Surrey to Kent to take over from my exhausted sister.

Mum is now mum again which is a huge relief. The fractures are small and there was not,in fact, internal bleeding.

There seems to be a bit of "air" in her brain (which explains a lot - sorry mum!!) and they will give her an anti infection injection later - precautionary. She has a wicked headache!

Apart from not eating or drinking this weekend - if she continues to improve we will be able to take her home tomorrow.

I have been speaking to NHS CEOs and staff recently - work related. My son works for the NHS. The situation is dire right now and it should not be. Some of it is about money, yes. An NHS HR Director told me that some of their nurses cannot afford to travel into work due to the cost of living crisis. The result? The NHS have to pay locum nurses x3; crazy. Another NHS boss told me that all of her staff either have PTSD now or will have mental health issues in the coming years. My youngest son works as an assistant psychologist for the NHS. His first job was in an internal NHS unit supporting staff with mental health issues. Sadly demand is booming for their services.

We can do better. We can be smarter. We should do better. We must do better. I would like to support the NHS more. Not just with fundraising but smarter people solutions.

This is my weekend.

How was your weekend?