It was difficult for Dele to locate his friend amidst the crowd, as everyone walked hastily to avoid been knocked over by a passerby. The atmosphere was permeated with different voices from the sellers who tried to advertise their product, and of buyers arguing over price. Dele walked fast trying to catch the paste of people ahead of him and touching his pocket, congratulating himself each time to have been conscious with his purse.
He was humored by a tricycle rider who tried to meander his way in the narrow paths along the market but instead throwing some basket of tomatoes. "Hey, my goods are still fresh, come buy from me", a woman called out to him as she noticed him staring at the fresh potatoes.
There were a lot of huts with thatch roofing built to prevent sunshine from beating their goods, and everyone was busy doing one particular thing. Dele watched as drivers brought in goods in large quantities and marveled how the traders intend to sell all of it that same day. He had heard a lot about the market that he decided to take a walk around it. People spreading their goods, some men resting under the shade of their huts, motorcyclists looking for a buyer's goods to transport, and women frying yam for sale.
"Not everyone is here to buy, some are here to steal from your pocket", he remembered his friend's words, again Dele put his hands in his pocket and smiled, after noticing his purse was still there.
This narration is excellent. I must have walked side by side with the character and experienced the whole thrill. Oh, the horses. Very well written.
Thank you. I took a break.
The scene is wonderfully drawn. I can feel the crowd jostling me. I can hear the vendor speaking. I can feel the narrator's anxiety about the wallet, and disappointment at its disappearance.
A very good job application of the prompt. Thank you for posting this colorful, expressive story in the Ink Well community.
Hello @dwixer ,
This is so well written. It is vivid. The choice of language brings the market to our eyes, ours and our noses! A very good job here!
A wonderful piece there.
All i can say to Dele is 'sorry'. These things happen, especially in a crowded market. Despite his father's words, he still lost his guard.
Although i can totally relate, it's easy to get carried away by the hustle and bustle of the market as you so accurately describe. If i had been there i might have gotten my purse stolen as well😁😁😂🤣
This is a wonderful story @dwixer, hooked me to the end. Keep it up.👍🏽
Your story is seductive, so it's easy to be sucked in.
Keep it coming.
You are welcome bro👍🏽
This is wonderfully descriptive. Even without the image, I felt like I was part of the scene. It was simple - from the start you built the importance of the wallet alongside the chaos of the market. I could picture myself in the situation having consciously touched my wallet ( and phone) in the crowded markets and trains in Bombay. And I also lost mine, and had people give me the same advise - next time, be more careful. Overall, I loved that it was short, succinct and full of action - very difficult to achieve :)
Nice job with the prompt, @dwixer. For such a short flash fiction piece, you managed to fill it with details of the market to help us experience it as Dele would. The vegetables, huts, shouting vendors, motorcycles and horses all create a lively market scene. I can almost smell the tomatoes and oranges! Well done.
You have well described the chaotic atmosphere of a market, with the diversity of voices, colours and intentions that mingle in these places. Thank you for writing. I enjoyed