Communication; The Greater Love

Love is more than enough, atleast that what we grow up learning. Mine is no different, at least not untill the family became bigger.

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I come from a polygamous family, my dad got separated from my mum, and he married another woman. Gosh!, they were in love, well that's how I see though, I never opposed, how could I. My dad would never listen to me.

Weeks past, before I knew it months had passed. And we were told to go leave with her. I wasn't as excited as I thought I should be. It just implied me doing less work, because before now I was the one cooking, bathing and taking care of the little once. Dad was never around so I became dad and mom to them.

Less work yes, but it also mean I wouldn't be the boss. That's not even the major ordeal. I am by nature an introvert, were others find ease to relate i shun my face. To crow it worst, I can't recall faces, it's not by design so I can't help it.

So, weeks past and we got a place together, I had only two years left for me to leave high school. I can recall, I try my best to show love the way I know how. Do everything I know I am supposed to do, clean, fetch water help coordinate the little, but I don't think it was enough.

Some days I find myself sleeping hungry or going to school hungry, this can span for more than weeks and I never knew my fault. I gave out love, what was i getting in return this certainly isn't love.

I cried for weeks, wishing my biological parents had not separated, I even sometime wished I was a little older, so I would have my own money and leave the house. I was weak, hungry and tired.

From food, more unnecessary events started. Don use they water they tell me, go flush the toilet again, this was becoming too much. Still at this point I still never retaliated, raised my voice or quested anybody.

Dad was still never around, if I even relate it to him, it would seem as I I am complaining so I bottled it in. I leaved like that till my last year in high school. Up till this point I didn't still know my fault. My friends were the once feeding me in school, I can recall them giving me money to buy garri (G2- student power). It really do live up to its name.

It was my graduation day and I was among them, on that day no one from home came. We're other people's parents and loved once we're all in attendance, with food and joy to give mine were not there, I was given only little money to take photos, the money could only take one picture. Just one, i smiled and took the money.

In the venue, I was called out as best graduation student in some subject, and non of my family members witness it or go out help me collect it or cheer. It was my Agricultural science teacher and my friends that made my day.

Love is never enough, that is what I got to learn. Even if I had given all the love I had to give wouldn't still be enough. I never knew what was the reason for this, till I was almost graduating from the university. What was then greater than the love I gave back then, what then made them start to see me, what made them start to reciprocate the love back; it was 'communication'.

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If anyone had told me that communication is greater than love I wouldn't believe, it goes further, were love stops communication begins.

When I started talking to my step family, i realised that love was not enough. Remember I am an introvert by default, I love being like that. Won't trade it for anything and they knew it even back then. All those stress, hunger and regret wouldn't had been my story to tell if I was a little communicative to them.

Looking back I wonder if they knew I had those problem. I did my best not to get involve, but I guess they wanted me to be part of the family, the funny thing is I was. Or I loved the way I know how to. So for me I was part of the family. Up till this very moment I am an introvert but I see things going a little better with communication in my family.

Where love fails communication sparks hope

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